How worried to be about birth defects with advanced maternal age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d be more concerned about your husband being a “no” than birth defects. If he doesn’t want a third, then there should be no third.

And what about my dream, my entire life, to have three children? Just curious why people like you always insist that his wishes should win out over mine.

FWIW he is also wishy washy at best but basically just thinks it sounds hard. Meanwhile, I feel like three children is my destiny, a feeling I've had my entire life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was 41 when I had my only. Three women on my block were 43. No problems.

It's crucial to address this matter with urgency and clarity: The response given by the individual who shared their personal experience, claiming "I was 41 when I had my only. Three women on my block were 43. No problems." is not only irresponsible but potentially dangerous. This kind of anecdotal evidence is no substitute for medical facts, especially in the context of pregnancy risks associated with advanced maternal age.

Your husband's concerns about the risks of chromosomal abnormalities, special needs, and birth defects associated with older maternal age are valid and supported by medical research. As women age, the risk of complications, including chromosomal disorders like Down syndrome, increases. While many women do have healthy pregnancies later in life, it's imperative to understand that each pregnancy is unique and carries its own set of risks.

You should report this person to the forum administrators promptly. Spreading personal anecdotes as universal truths in a health-related discussion can lead to serious misunderstandings and health risks. It's important for forums that discuss sensitive health issues to maintain accurate and reliable information.

In making decisions about expanding your family, rely on credible, evidence-based information and the guidance of healthcare professionals. Consult with your doctor to get a clear understanding of the risks and considerations specific to your health and circumstances. Remember, safety and well-being should always be the priority in such critical decisions.

[Anonymous]

^ Even when the odds get higher for the risk of problems, you’re still more likely than not to have a baby without issues.

So you sound a bit unhinged to want to get the PP removed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was 41 when I had my only. Three women on my block were 43. No problems.

It's crucial to address this matter with urgency and clarity: The response given by the individual who shared their personal experience, claiming "I was 41 when I had my only. Three women on my block were 43. No problems." is not only irresponsible but potentially dangerous. This kind of anecdotal evidence is no substitute for medical facts, especially in the context of pregnancy risks associated with advanced maternal age.

Your husband's concerns about the risks of chromosomal abnormalities, special needs, and birth defects associated with older maternal age are valid and supported by medical research. As women age, the risk of complications, including chromosomal disorders like Down syndrome, increases. While many women do have healthy pregnancies later in life, it's imperative to understand that each pregnancy is unique and carries its own set of risks.

You should report this person to the forum administrators promptly. Spreading personal anecdotes as universal truths in a health-related discussion can lead to serious misunderstandings and health risks. It's important for forums that discuss sensitive health issues to maintain accurate and reliable information.

In making decisions about expanding your family, rely on credible, evidence-based information and the guidance of healthcare professionals. Consult with your doctor to get a clear understanding of the risks and considerations specific to your health and circumstances. Remember, safety and well-being should always be the priority in such critical decisions.

Sharing your personal experience is not “spreading misinformation.” What a pathetically low estimation of others’ intelligence you have if you feel we all need to be protected by censorship in order to make our way through the world. I am new poster but back off, authoritarian pp. Yes, anecdotes don’t replace or trump actual research and data but we aren’t children who need protecting from wrong things on the internet. Jesus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be more concerned about your husband being a “no” than birth defects. If he doesn’t want a third, then there should be no third.

And what about my dream, my entire life, to have three children? Just curious why people like you always insist that his wishes should win out over mine.

FWIW he is also wishy washy at best but basically just thinks it sounds hard. Meanwhile, I feel like three children is my destiny, a feeling I've had my entire life.

The "no" vote always wins. If this was a dealbreaker for you, you should have picked a different DH. Did you not discuss these things?! If you've had this feeling your "entire life" SURELY this was discussed and agreed to, no? Plenty of guys out there who would be fine with 5, should've gone for one of those.

[Anonymous]

This is not old. At all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was 41 when I had my only. Three women on my block were 43. No problems.

It's crucial to address this matter with urgency and clarity: The response given by the individual who shared their personal experience, claiming "I was 41 when I had my only. Three women on my block were 43. No problems." is not only irresponsible but potentially dangerous. This kind of anecdotal evidence is no substitute for medical facts, especially in the context of pregnancy risks associated with advanced maternal age.

Your husband's concerns about the risks of chromosomal abnormalities, special needs, and birth defects associated with older maternal age are valid and supported by medical research. As women age, the risk of complications, including chromosomal disorders like Down syndrome, increases. While many women do have healthy pregnancies later in life, it's imperative to understand that each pregnancy is unique and carries its own set of risks.

You should report this person to the forum administrators promptly. Spreading personal anecdotes as universal truths in a health-related discussion can lead to serious misunderstandings and health risks. It's important for forums that discuss sensitive health issues to maintain accurate and reliable information.

In making decisions about expanding your family, rely on credible, evidence-based information and the guidance of healthcare professionals. Consult with your doctor to get a clear understanding of the risks and considerations specific to your health and circumstances. Remember, safety and well-being should always be the priority in such critical decisions.

Sharing your personal experience is not “spreading misinformation.” What a pathetically low estimation of others’ intelligence you have if you feel we all need to be protected by censorship in order to make our way through the world. I am new poster but back off, authoritarian pp. Yes, anecdotes don’t replace or trump actual research and data but we aren’t children who need protecting from wrong things on the internet. Jesus.

I understand that my emphasis on the importance of evidence-based information in health-related discussions may have come across strongly, but it's essential to maintain a constructive and respectful dialogue. Your response, however, seems to misinterpret the intent and crosses into personal attack, which is neither productive nor conducive to a healthy discussion.

It's important to recognize that in a forum where individuals seek advice on sensitive and potentially life-impacting decisions, the accuracy and reliability of the information shared are paramount. While personal experiences are valuable, they should be complemented with, and not replace, factual, medical data. This approach is not about undermining anyone's intelligence or advocating for censorship; it's about ensuring that decisions are made based on a comprehensive understanding that includes both personal anecdotes and scientific evidence.

Your accusation of authoritarianism and the aggressive tone of your message are out of line. These attacks divert the focus from the actual issue at hand — the need for responsible information sharing in a health-related context. It's crucial to engage in these discussions with empathy and a shared goal of helping and informing, rather than attacking differing viewpoints.

Let's steer this conversation back to a more productive and respectful exchange, focusing on the original topic while appreciating the balance between personal experiences and scientific research in making informed decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not old. At all.

In the context of pregnancy, "old" refers to advanced maternal age, medically defined as being 35 or older. This isn't about general age perception but about specific increased risks in pregnancy after this age, including chromosomal abnormalities and complications. It's important to understand this medical categorization is based on statistical risks, not personal judgments about age. While many women over 35 have healthy pregnancies, the risks do increase, making this an important consideration for potential parents and healthcare providers.

[Anonymous]

I would but worry, unless you are opposed to abortion.

If so, then discuss the odds with your obstetrician.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be more concerned about your husband being a “no” than birth defects. If he doesn’t want a third, then there should be no third.

And what about my dream, my entire life, to have three children? Just curious why people like you always insist that his wishes should win out over mine.

FWIW he is also wishy washy at best but basically just thinks it sounds hard. Meanwhile, I feel like three children is my destiny, a feeling I've had my entire life.

That “rationale” sounds quite emotional, to be honest. Will he be paying for your dream?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be more concerned about your husband being a “no” than birth defects. If he doesn’t want a third, then there should be no third.

And what about my dream, my entire life, to have three children? Just curious why people like you always insist that his wishes should win out over mine.

FWIW he is also wishy washy at best but basically just thinks it sounds hard. Meanwhile, I feel like three children is my destiny, a feeling I've had my entire life.

That “rationale” sounds quite emotional, to be honest. Will he be paying for your dream?

I don’t think his desires automatically trump yours, but is he usually the more practical one in the couple?

[Anonymous]

Can’t you Google?

Just be sure to use a reputable source (such as ACOG), not someone trying to get rich selling fertility services.

The data can be spun of course. If you want to get to no, you can emphasize how much it goes up after 35. If you want to get to tes, you can emphasize the odds of the baby being healthy.

You might both discuss it with an ob, but then perhaps a marriage counselor. This is a tough situation, not because of the medical facts but because you two disagree and only one of you can get your way. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be more concerned about your husband being a “no” than birth defects. If he doesn’t want a third, then there should be no third.

And what about my dream, my entire life, to have three children? Just curious why people like you always insist that his wishes should win out over mine.

FWIW he is also wishy washy at best but basically just thinks it sounds hard. Meanwhile, I feel like three children is my destiny, a feeling I've had my entire life.

Honestly, no one can answer this for you, but the best answers you're going to get will be from your own doctor. I appreciate the sharing of statistics in this post, but statistics are just that. If you've had two healthy pregnancies with no concerns, your doctor may tell you you'll be fine, or you may have some markers in your health or family history that make them concerned. No one here can tell you one or another. I would also point out that the likelihood of fraternal twins increases each year after 35, so if you're worried about birth defects, I would also worry about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was 41 when I had my only. Three women on my block were 43. No problems.

It's crucial to address this matter with urgency and clarity: The response given by the individual who shared their personal experience, claiming "I was 41 when I had my only. Three women on my block were 43. No problems." is not only irresponsible but potentially dangerous. This kind of anecdotal evidence is no substitute for medical facts, especially in the context of pregnancy risks associated with advanced maternal age.

Your husband's concerns about the risks of chromosomal abnormalities, special needs, and birth defects associated with older maternal age are valid and supported by medical research. As women age, the risk of complications, including chromosomal disorders like Down syndrome, increases. While many women do have healthy pregnancies later in life, it's imperative to understand that each pregnancy is unique and carries its own set of risks.

You should report this person to the forum administrators promptly. Spreading personal anecdotes as universal truths in a health-related discussion can lead to serious misunderstandings and health risks. It's important for forums that discuss sensitive health issues to maintain accurate and reliable information.

In making decisions about expanding your family, rely on credible, evidence-based information and the guidance of healthcare professionals. Consult with your doctor to get a clear understanding of the risks and considerations specific to your health and circumstances. Remember, safety and well-being should always be the priority in such critical decisions.

Sharing your personal experience is not “spreading misinformation.” What a pathetically low estimation of others’ intelligence you have if you feel we all need to be protected by censorship in order to make our way through the world. I am new poster but back off, authoritarian pp. Yes, anecdotes don’t replace or trump actual research and data but we aren’t children who need protecting from wrong things on the internet. Jesus.

I understand that my emphasis on the importance of evidence-based information in health-related discussions may have come across strongly, but it's essential to maintain a constructive and respectful dialogue. Your response, however, seems to misinterpret the intent and crosses into personal attack, which is neither productive nor conducive to a healthy discussion.

It's important to recognize that in a forum where individuals seek advice on sensitive and potentially life-impacting decisions, the accuracy and reliability of the information shared are paramount. While personal experiences are valuable, they should be complemented with, and not replace, factual, medical data. This approach is not about undermining anyone's intelligence or advocating for censorship; it's about ensuring that decisions are made based on a comprehensive understanding that includes both personal anecdotes and scientific evidence.

Your accusation of authoritarianism and the aggressive tone of your message are out of line. These attacks divert the focus from the actual issue at hand — the need for responsible information sharing in a health-related context. It's crucial to engage in these discussions with empathy and a shared goal of helping and informing, rather than attacking differing viewpoints.

Let's steer this conversation back to a more productive and respectful exchange, focusing on the original topic while appreciating the balance between personal experiences and scientific research in making informed decisions.

Ah yes, any response you don’t like is a personal attack. Right out of the modern censorship playbook. Accuse someone of an -ism or “personal attack” so that you can report them and get the comment removed. Nice. So far you need to censor me and several other posters. Why stop there? You should ask Jeff to take DCUM down because many, many posts contain unscientific anecdotes and conjecture that we feeble plebs might make decisions based on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be more concerned about your husband being a “no” than birth defects. If he doesn’t want a third, then there should be no third.

And what about my dream, my entire life, to have three children? Just curious why people like you always insist that his wishes should win out over mine.

FWIW he is also wishy washy at best but basically just thinks it sounds hard. Meanwhile, I feel like three children is my destiny, a feeling I've had my entire life.

My husband and I were in a similar spot and we had a third and we are super happy -- actually I was a very similar age to you for all my babies. I do think being prepared for the unexpected is something you have to (however difficult it is) be ready to do, but I'm kind of with you here. Of course a strong NO wins every time. But when the person with the stronger feeling is a yes, I think the no vote owes it to the marriage to give it real consideration -- just like you would with any other strong inclination or venture. Actually both sides of yes and no should do this. IMHO this is what it is to be in a partnership.

It's kind of silly to argue that this should all have been decided pre-marriage, because no one really knows how they are going to feel about children until they've had one. Or two. It is very much a one at a time deal.