Son bummed about looking young for his age

[Anonymous]

Some kids just look young. I have college-age daughters who are regularly mistaken for 14-16 year olds. My husband and I also look young for our age. While my daughters don't like it, I tell them to embrace it because one day they will love being carded at age 35.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is taller and less in weight. Don’t know where you are getting the skinny idea from.

So is mine, but come on…you know what she means. I definitely do. A lot of boys this age are quite muscled already and have a more mature looking face (more facial hair, squared jaw etc)…..they look older.

This is my son. He's 14, 150 pounds and zero fat. He also has his Dad's jawline but he definitely still looks and acts a like a 15 year old just an athletic one. Football did a lot to build is muscle

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is taller and less in weight. Don’t know where you are getting the skinny idea from.

So is mine, but come on…you know what she means. I definitely do. A lot of boys this age are quite muscled already and have a more mature looking face (more facial hair, squared jaw etc)…..they look older.

This is my son. He's 14, 150 pounds and zero fat. He also has his Dad's jawline but he definitely still looks and acts a like a 15 year old just an athletic one. Football did a lot to build is muscle

This. I'm the PP that keeps harping about weight training. You gotta get this kid into football or wrestling or BJJ, something with a physical intensity.

So that even if he has a baby face, at least he'll have an age appropriate physique. For some kids, those just happen. But for most of the boys at ages 14/15 that are muscular, also swim or wrestle or do one of the really physically grinding sports

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is taller and less in weight. Don’t know where you are getting the skinny idea from.

So is mine, but come on…you know what she means. I definitely do. A lot of boys this age are quite muscled already and have a more mature looking face (more facial hair, squared jaw etc)…..they look older.

This is my son. He's 14, 150 pounds and zero fat. He also has his Dad's jawline but he definitely still looks and acts a like a 15 year old just an athletic one. Football did a lot to build is muscle

This. I'm the PP that keeps harping about weight training. You gotta get this kid into football or wrestling or BJJ, something with a physical intensity.

So that even if he has a baby face, at least he'll have an age appropriate physique. For some kids, those just happen. But for most of the boys at ages 14/15 that are muscular, also swim or wrestle or do one of the really physically grinding sports

I completely agree with this for the average boy but to be fair there is definitely a subset of boys where this won’t have much effect…super late bloomers- for example my older son weighed about 90lbs on a good day at 14 and hadn’t yet started puberty- looked like an 11yo. While strength is always good- no amount of physical conditioning or training will speed things up much for kids like this, unfortunately. They need time and puberty. My younger DS is currently 14 and on a more normal timetable and your advice would be spot on for him. But there is always a handful of teeny tiny not yet in puberty boys like this at 14 and even 15…in those cases, there isn’t much you can do but wait IME. My 14yo DS has a friend who weighs 80lbs…At his size, football is probably not going to be feasible LOL. But his parents and older siblings are very average to tall sized people and his time will come. Older DS was closer to 16 before he was physically ready to train & build muscle. I do think in some cases, just reassuring these boys that their time will come is the right answer….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is taller and less in weight. Don’t know where you are getting the skinny idea from.

So is mine, but come on…you know what she means. I definitely do. A lot of boys this age are quite muscled already and have a more mature looking face (more facial hair, squared jaw etc)…..they look older.

This is my son. He's 14, 150 pounds and zero fat. He also has his Dad's jawline but he definitely still looks and acts a like a 15 year old just an athletic one. Football did a lot to build is muscle

This. I'm the PP that keeps harping about weight training. You gotta get this kid into football or wrestling or BJJ, something with a physical intensity.

So that even if he has a baby face, at least he'll have an age appropriate physique. For some kids, those just happen. But for most of the boys at ages 14/15 that are muscular, also swim or wrestle or do one of the really physically grinding sports

I completely agree with this for the average boy but to be fair there is definitely a subset of boys where this won’t have much effect…super late bloomers- for example my older son weighed about 90lbs on a good day at 14 and hadn’t yet started puberty- looked like an 11yo. While strength is always good- no amount of physical conditioning or training will speed things up much for kids like this, unfortunately. They need time and puberty. My younger DS is currently 14 and on a more normal timetable and your advice would be spot on for him. But there is always a handful of teeny tiny not yet in puberty boys like this at 14 and even 15…in those cases, there isn’t much you can do but wait IME. My 14yo DS has a friend who weighs 80lbs…At his size, football is probably not going to be feasible LOL. But his parents and older siblings are very average to tall sized people and his time will come. Older DS was closer to 16 before he was physically ready to train & build muscle. I do think in some cases, just reassuring these boys that their time will come is the right answer….

You're 100% correct. But for those kids, I would still recommend weight training.

For 2 reasons:

- Confidence
- Foundation/Fundaments. If they are comfortable in the gym, comfortable with the motions, understand body awareness, once those hormones kick in, their muscle building will BLAST off. They won't have to spend the time learning the fundamentals, etc. Get under the empty barbell now, so they don't have to do that at 16 once the testosterone is kicking

But I see your point; it is a valid one

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is taller and less in weight. Don’t know where you are getting the skinny idea from.

So is mine, but come on…you know what she means. I definitely do. A lot of boys this age are quite muscled already and have a more mature looking face (more facial hair, squared jaw etc)…..they look older.

This is my son. He's 14, 150 pounds and zero fat. He also has his Dad's jawline but he definitely still looks and acts a like a 15 year old just an athletic one. Football did a lot to build is muscle

This. I'm the PP that keeps harping about weight training. You gotta get this kid into football or wrestling or BJJ, something with a physical intensity.

So that even if he has a baby face, at least he'll have an age appropriate physique. For some kids, those just happen. But for most of the boys at ages 14/15 that are muscular, also swim or wrestle or do one of the really physically grinding sports

I completely agree with this for the average boy but to be fair there is definitely a subset of boys where this won’t have much effect…super late bloomers- for example my older son weighed about 90lbs on a good day at 14 and hadn’t yet started puberty- looked like an 11yo. While strength is always good- no amount of physical conditioning or training will speed things up much for kids like this, unfortunately. They need time and puberty. My younger DS is currently 14 and on a more normal timetable and your advice would be spot on for him. But there is always a handful of teeny tiny not yet in puberty boys like this at 14 and even 15…in those cases, there isn’t much you can do but wait IME. My 14yo DS has a friend who weighs 80lbs…At his size, football is probably not going to be feasible LOL. But his parents and older siblings are very average to tall sized people and his time will come. Older DS was closer to 16 before he was physically ready to train & build muscle. I do think in some cases, just reassuring these boys that their time will come is the right answer….

You're 100% correct. But for those kids, I would still recommend weight training.

For 2 reasons:

- Confidence
- Foundation/Fundaments. If they are comfortable in the gym, comfortable with the motions, understand body awareness, once those hormones kick in, their muscle building will BLAST off. They won't have to spend the time learning the fundamentals, etc. Get under the empty barbell now, so they don't have to do that at 16 once the testosterone is kicking

But I see your point; it is a valid one

Agree with all this. OP - My DS is in similar boat as yours expect he's almost 16. He's 5'6", 120lbs and, looks very young. According to his dr he is just starting to show signs of puberty. Doesn't help that he's the smallest in his friend group because most of his friends are athletes and ae much further along, puberty-wise. That said, while no amount of weight training will help him bulk up yet, joining the wrestling team and doing strength training during the off season has really helped boost his confidence and it doesn't seem to faze him even when his friends tease him about his size. Tell him to hang in there. Kids like him usually catch up to their peers and often even end up bigger and stronger!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him about my 19 year old 5'5" son who weighs 100lbs and looks like he's 15.

When I showed up on my first day of being a teaching assistant as a grad student, the professor told me there was no way the students would respect me because I looked 14.

We all look very young in the family. Ageism in reverse - we suffered from it when young, but less as we age.

So tell him that when his peers all look like hags, he might still look youthful and he's less likely to be pushed out... if he takes care of himself (sunscreen, clean living).

Ageism won’t matter, his career will be hampered as short king. Average US height is 5’9”, for non Hispanic whites it’s 5’10”.

https://www.medicinenet.com/height_men/article.htm

Is he likely to grow taller? I would honestly consider growth hormone since men today are BREAKING their legs to get taller as adults.

https://www.nbcnews.com/health/mens-health/leg-lengthening-surgery-gains-popularity-men-seeking-taller-rcna79819

It hampers career, dating, sports…

You can't just get growth hormone because you want to be taller. Come on people. It's for people who have a growth hormone deficiency, which is diagnosable. Doctors will not provide it to people who don't have this deficiency.

[Anonymous]

Ignoring all the crazy comments, here are a few suggestions.

(I also have a son who's a puberty late bloomer and has a baby face and has a fair complexion....so I feel your pain)

- definitely get some more calories in him and get him into weight training
- evaluate the haircut - mine looks "older" in certain haircuts
- how's the wardrobe? Clothes that are too small/too big can make a kid look smaller, younger, etc.
- make sure he's eating lots of protein, getting sleep, and getting vitamin D - these things promote growth.

[Anonymous]

Ignoring all the crazy comments, here are a few suggestions.

(I also have a son who's a puberty late bloomer and has a baby face and has a fair complexion....so I feel your pain)

- definitely get some more calories in him and get him into weight training
- evaluate the haircut - mine looks "older" in certain haircuts
- how's the wardrobe? Clothes that are too small/too big can make a kid look smaller, younger, etc.
- make sure he's eating lots of protein, getting sleep, and getting vitamin D - these things promote growth.

OP here, thanks. He eats a lot already, but your suggestion on weight training is a good one. I will try to get him connected with a personal trainer for a few sessions this summer.
I think his haircut is good, I have seen him get compliments on it from peers (it's a short haircut on the longer side).
The wardrobe is somewhat of an issue. The clothes themselves are fine (mostly athletic clothing from Old Navy and Gap), but he is wearing shorts that I think are a size too small, despite having pairs the size up. He doesn't want me to, but I may donate them soon. The tops are a bit tough. Men's S is the correct length but a bit baggy, boys XXL is the correct width but slightly short and not ideal in the shoulders. Will have to keep searching.
Thanks for the vitamin D suggestion - will get and figure out how much.

[Anonymous]

This is my son. He's 14, 150 pounds and zero fat. He also has his Dad's jawline but he definitely still looks and acts a like a 15 year old just an athletic one. Football did a lot to build is muscle


This. I'm the PP that keeps harping about weight training. You gotta get this kid into football or wrestling or BJJ, something with a physical intensity.

I just don't think that is going to happen. He is really set on ultimate, which takes up more time than I expected in season (every day after school). He tried XC this year in and didn't love or hate it, so it is up in the air as to whether he will do that again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Ignoring all the crazy comments, here are a few suggestions.

(I also have a son who's a puberty late bloomer and has a baby face and has a fair complexion....so I feel your pain)

- definitely get some more calories in him and get him into weight training
- evaluate the haircut - mine looks "older" in certain haircuts
- how's the wardrobe? Clothes that are too small/too big can make a kid look smaller, younger, etc.
- make sure he's eating lots of protein, getting sleep, and getting vitamin D - these things promote growth.

OP here, thanks. He eats a lot already, but your suggestion on weight training is a good one. I will try to get him connected with a personal trainer for a few sessions this summer.
I think his haircut is good, I have seen him get compliments on it from peers (it's a short haircut on the longer side).
The wardrobe is somewhat of an issue. The clothes themselves are fine (mostly athletic clothing from [b]Old Navy and Gap[/b), but he is wearing shorts that I think are a size too small, despite having pairs the size up. He doesn't want me to, but I may donate them soon. The tops are a bit tough. Men's S is the correct length but a bit baggy, boys XXL is the correct width but slightly short and not ideal in the shoulders. Will have to keep searching.
Thanks for the vitamin D suggestion - will get and figure out how much.

I might get him a few t-shirts from some other places. I know my 14yo DS would think Old Navy was for kids.

They don't have to be expensive. In fact, he gets Under Armour t-shirts from the Clarksburg outlet at 2 for 20, I think.

There's also a Columbia outlet there that has fishing t-shirts at a reasonable price. And his favorite is the Carharrt shirts which are a little bit more expensive.

These are just a bit more "older boy" brands that may help him feel more confident.

[Anonymous]

They don't have to be expensive. In fact, he gets Under Armour t-shirts from the Clarksburg outlet at 2 for 20, I think.

There's also a Columbia outlet there that has fishing t-shirts at a reasonable price. And his favorite is the Carharrt shirts which are a little bit more expensive.

These are just a bit more "older boy" brands that may help him feel more confident.

Thank you. The pricing is not a big issue. For him, the issue is that he wants to be able to go to ultimate in whatever he is wearing to school and not have to change shirts. But it looks like some of these options could work for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Ignoring all the crazy comments, here are a few suggestions.

(I also have a son who's a puberty late bloomer and has a baby face and has a fair complexion....so I feel your pain)

- definitely get some more calories in him and get him into weight training
- evaluate the haircut - mine looks "older" in certain haircuts
- how's the wardrobe? Clothes that are too small/too big can make a kid look smaller, younger, etc.
- make sure he's eating lots of protein, getting sleep, and getting vitamin D - these things promote growth.

OP here, thanks. He eats a lot already, but your suggestion on weight training is a good one. I will try to get him connected with a personal trainer for a few sessions this summer.
I think his haircut is good, I have seen him get compliments on it from peers (it's a short haircut on the longer side).
The wardrobe is somewhat of an issue. The clothes themselves are fine (mostly athletic clothing from Old Navy and Gap), but he is wearing shorts that I think are a size too small, despite having pairs the size up. He doesn't want me to, but I may donate them soon. The tops are a bit tough. Men's S is the correct length but a bit baggy, boys XXL is the correct width but slightly short and not ideal in the shoulders. Will have to keep searching.
Thanks for the vitamin D suggestion - will get and figure out how much.

I think this is the style! I feel the same way about my kid's shorts and I bought new bigger ones and he refuses to wear them. I think the style is on the tighter, shorter side. The baggy ones are apparently no good...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Ignoring all the crazy comments, here are a few suggestions.

(I also have a son who's a puberty late bloomer and has a baby face and has a fair complexion....so I feel your pain)

- definitely get some more calories in him and get him into weight training
- evaluate the haircut - mine looks "older" in certain haircuts
- how's the wardrobe? Clothes that are too small/too big can make a kid look smaller, younger, etc.
- make sure he's eating lots of protein, getting sleep, and getting vitamin D - these things promote growth.

OP here, thanks. He eats a lot already, but your suggestion on weight training is a good one. I will try to get him connected with a personal trainer for a few sessions this summer.
I think his haircut is good, I have seen him get compliments on it from peers (it's a short haircut on the longer side).
The wardrobe is somewhat of an issue. The clothes themselves are fine (mostly athletic clothing from Old Navy and Gap), but he is wearing shorts that I think are a size too small, despite having pairs the size up. He doesn't want me to, but I may donate them soon. The tops are a bit tough. Men's S is the correct length but a bit baggy, boys XXL is the correct width but slightly short and not ideal in the shoulders. Will have to keep searching.
Thanks for the vitamin D suggestion - will get and figure out how much.

I think this is the style! I feel the same way about my kid's shorts and I bought new bigger ones and he refuses to wear them. I think the style is on the tighter, shorter side. The baggy ones are apparently no good...

Yes it absolutely is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Ignoring all the crazy comments, here are a few suggestions.

(I also have a son who's a puberty late bloomer and has a baby face and has a fair complexion....so I feel your pain)

- definitely get some more calories in him and get him into weight training
- evaluate the haircut - mine looks "older" in certain haircuts
- how's the wardrobe? Clothes that are too small/too big can make a kid look smaller, younger, etc.
- make sure he's eating lots of protein, getting sleep, and getting vitamin D - these things promote growth.

OP here, thanks. He eats a lot already, but your suggestion on weight training is a good one. I will try to get him connected with a personal trainer for a few sessions this summer.
I think his haircut is good, I have seen him get compliments on it from peers (it's a short haircut on the longer side).
The wardrobe is somewhat of an issue. The clothes themselves are fine (mostly athletic clothing from Old Navy and Gap), but he is wearing shorts that I think are a size too small, despite having pairs the size up. He doesn't want me to, but I may donate them soon. The tops are a bit tough. Men's S is the correct length but a bit baggy, boys XXL is the correct width but slightly short and not ideal in the shoulders. Will have to keep searching.
Thanks for the vitamin D suggestion - will get and figure out how much.

I think this is the style! I feel the same way about my kid's shorts and I bought new bigger ones and he refuses to wear them. I think the style is on the tighter, shorter side. The baggy ones are apparently no good...

Sky's out; Thighs out.

It definitely harkens back to the 80s, but I think it looks good. Way better than the super baggy trend in the 90s, for sure.