Do you think MC families are happier than UMC families?

[Anonymous]

I think your real question is about whether or not pretentious people are happier, and then answer is no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are an UMC family living in an affluent competitive area (McLean). My kids are strong students and kids are very academically focused. Parents are well educated and have UMC jobs (lots of lawyers and doctors). Everything feels competitive whether it is music, soccer, baseball, swim or tennis. There are so many smart talented kids. My youngest is in first and parents are talking about AAP (advanced academic program) that they get screened for in second grade.

I see friends in other normal areas or out of state and it feels much less stressful and carefree. I was talking to a friend with a junior in college and they seem not stressed and content and satisfied with the child going to a non competitive college. The kid doesn’t have good grades or a high SAT score and they don’t seem bothered.

Do you think MC or average people are happier?

Oh please. This is so typical. Just look at history - always this romanticism of the peasant or the poor. How simple and happy their lives are. I love Russian literature and this nostalgia and yearning for simplicity associated with having less money is what I’m getting from you. Grow up. Living in a capitalist society where many people don’t have secure housing or food and lack basic medical care is horrible. My husband and I are in the highest tax bracket and I hate it because most of our income is W2 income but the big picture is that we have a vastly unequal society and it is not better to have less money.

[Anonymous]

I think my family is right on the cusp between MC and UMC (HHI about 150k in the DMV, but only one kid and almost no debt, just mortgage, and access to some family money). We only crossed the 150k threshold recently. Most of our friends are well above that (200kish to surgeons and Big Law partners who are way above), we know a handful of people who are more firmly middle class than we are (at or under 100k, many of these are single parent families).

I think the two things that contribute most to happiness at any income level are (1) security, and (2) valuing people/time/compassion over money/stuff/prestige.

My observation is that the more money you have, the more of #1 you have. But people with less money are sometimes better at #2. Ideally you have both, and the UMC people who have figured this out are the happiest people I know, because they have their heads on straight but also don't stress over money. But I also know plenty of UMC who have NOT figured this out, some of whom are always chasing bigger and bigger paychecks thinking it will make them happier when it's actually undermining the place where true happiness lies (their relationships, the time they spend away from work). Meanwhile MC people with good values can still be very happy, but will always have to deal with money stress. And MC people who don't have good values are the least happy because they not only have money stress but they don't even appreciate or focus on the sources of happiness that are right in front of them (again, their relationships).