Do you think MC families are happier than UMC families?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s actually data on this. The sweet spot is the upper Midwest, where there are lots of good jobs and the cost of living is reasonable.

I read this book on financial insecurity and modern America and it’s usually the upper middle class the most about money. Sociologist referred to it as guarding your financial status. I imagine it must be exhausting.

Middle class not upper class and I engage in the financial strategy known as holding steady. It’s stressful, but not the same way.

What's the book title and author? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s actually data on this. The sweet spot is the upper Midwest, where there are lots of good jobs and the cost of living is reasonable.

I read this book on financial insecurity and modern America and it’s usually the upper middle class the most about money. Sociologist referred to it as guarding your financial status. I imagine it must be exhausting.

Middle class not upper class and I engage in the financial strategy known as holding steady. It’s stressful, but not the same way.

What's the book title and author? Thanks.

https://www.mariannecooper.com/book

It was a great read. Helped me change my perspective.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I know families in the midwest who make 190K combined, raised 4 kids, and think they've made it. The kids all went to state college (think U Kansas, U Missouri), probably never heard of Amherst or Middlebury. They have like 80K left on 2.7% mortgage, drive two older model US cars, and are super happy. They have never been to Europe or Asia, don't see the need. Once every 5 years will go to Caribbean maybe Mexico. Most of the time their vacations are driving vacations. Depends on how you define MC, but there is a whole trench of MC across America who are ignorant of other possibilities, choices, avenues, careers. And ignorance is bliss.

OP here. This is exactly what I mean. I am thinking of one acquaintance whose kid recently went to Arizona or Alabama and totally proud and satisfied. They live in a modest home, have modest jobs and just seem happy. If you live in McLean and your kid has a 4.3 GPA, you won’t be able to get into UVA. It isn’t high enough. Your kid can play travel soccer or travel baseball their whole lives and get cut from the high school soccer team.

I know the locals think UVA is on par with the Ivies but the rest of the country doesn’t. It’s a very good well priced school but not something these parents who are super competitive would settle for.

As for kids sports that’s the way it is everywhere. Hundreds of kids start out, they start dropping out in middle school but there are still not enough spots for the kids who still want to play in high school.

We don’t think UVA is on par with Ivies. I was just giving an example of what I hear from parents with kids in high school. DH and I both attended college and grad schools ranked higher than UVA. I will only admit it on an anonymous forum but I would be disappointed with UVA.

Most people who went to Ivies wouldn’t get in nowadays. You might want to adjust your expectations.

Every generation says this. When the current students are 50 they’ll tell their kids that they wouldn’t get in nowadays. So who’s getting in?

Um no. Just look at acceptance rates for schools. Just look at the average GPAs and SATs at not just Ivys but many state schools. A very high GPA and SAT is the bare minimum to get in many places. Kids with incredible stats getting rejected left and right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I know families in the midwest who make 190K combined, raised 4 kids, and think they've made it. The kids all went to state college (think U Kansas, U Missouri), probably never heard of Amherst or Middlebury. They have like 80K left on 2.7% mortgage, drive two older model US cars, and are super happy. They have never been to Europe or Asia, don't see the need. Once every 5 years will go to Caribbean maybe Mexico. Most of the time their vacations are driving vacations. Depends on how you define MC, but there is a whole trench of MC across America who are ignorant of other possibilities, choices, avenues, careers. And ignorance is bliss.

OP here. This is exactly what I mean. I am thinking of one acquaintance whose kid recently went to Arizona or Alabama and totally proud and satisfied. They live in a modest home, have modest jobs and just seem happy. If you live in McLean and your kid has a 4.3 GPA, you won’t be able to get into UVA. It isn’t high enough. Your kid can play travel soccer or travel baseball their whole lives and get cut from the high school soccer team.

I know the locals think UVA is on par with the Ivies but the rest of the country doesn’t. It’s a very good well priced school but not something these parents who are super competitive would settle for.

As for kids sports that’s the way it is everywhere. Hundreds of kids start out, they start dropping out in middle school but there are still not enough spots for the kids who still want to play in high school.

We don’t think UVA is on par with Ivies. I was just giving an example of what I hear from parents with kids in high school. DH and I both attended college and grad schools ranked higher than UVA. I will only admit it on an anonymous forum but I would be disappointed with UVA.

Most people who went to Ivies wouldn’t get in nowadays. You might want to adjust your expectations.

Every generation says this. When the current students are 50 they’ll tell their kids that they wouldn’t get in nowadays. So who’s getting in?

Well, historically it has been true over several generations that the number of qualified applicants have been on the rise, acceptance rates have dropped, average stats have gone up. So it has been getting tougher. There may be a limit to this (one can hope) but we don’t seem to have hit it yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know families in the midwest who make 190K combined, raised 4 kids, and think they've made it. The kids all went to state college (think U Kansas, U Missouri), probably never heard of Amherst or Middlebury. They have like 80K left on 2.7% mortgage, drive two older model US cars, and are super happy. They have never been to Europe or Asia, don't see the need. Once every 5 years will go to Caribbean maybe Mexico. Most of the time their vacations are driving vacations. Depends on how you define MC, but there is a whole trench of MC across America who are ignorant of other possibilities, choices, avenues, careers. And ignorance is bliss.

OP here. This is exactly what I mean. I am thinking of one acquaintance whose kid recently went to Arizona or Alabama and totally proud and satisfied. They live in a modest home, have modest jobs and just seem happy. If you live in McLean and your kid has a 4.3 GPA, you won’t be able to get into UVA. It isn’t high enough. Your kid can play travel soccer or travel baseball their whole lives and get cut from the high school soccer team.

I know the locals think UVA is on par with the Ivies but the rest of the country doesn’t. It’s a very good well priced school but not something these parents who are super competitive would settle for.

As for kids sports that’s the way it is everywhere. Hundreds of kids start out, they start dropping out in middle school but there are still not enough spots for the kids who still want to play in high school.

We don’t think UVA is on par with Ivies. I was just giving an example of what I hear from parents with kids in high school. DH and I both attended college and grad schools ranked higher than UVA. I will only admit it on an anonymous forum but I would be disappointed with UVA.

This is beside the point but I went to UVA and both I and many of my peers went on to Ivy grad schools from there. One could do worse, and if you’re in-state, you get quite the deal.

[Anonymous]

This is stupid. There are rich people who are miserable. Elon Musk has been married 3 times. Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates cheated on their wives. The rich are not necessarily happier. They just have more money. They have other issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know families in the midwest who make 190K combined, raised 4 kids, and think they've made it. The kids all went to state college (think U Kansas, U Missouri), probably never heard of Amherst or Middlebury. They have like 80K left on 2.7% mortgage, drive two older model US cars, and are super happy. They have never been to Europe or Asia, don't see the need. Once every 5 years will go to Caribbean maybe Mexico. Most of the time their vacations are driving vacations. Depends on how you define MC, but there is a whole trench of MC across America who are ignorant of other possibilities, choices, avenues, careers. And ignorance is bliss.

OP here. This is exactly what I mean. I am thinking of one acquaintance whose kid recently went to Arizona or Alabama and totally proud and satisfied. They live in a modest home, have modest jobs and just seem happy. If you live in McLean and your kid has a 4.3 GPA, you won’t be able to get into UVA. It isn’t high enough. Your kid can play travel soccer or travel baseball their whole lives and get cut from the high school soccer team.

I know the locals think UVA is on par with the Ivies but the rest of the country doesn’t. It’s a very good well priced school but not something these parents who are super competitive would settle for.

As for kids sports that’s the way it is everywhere. Hundreds of kids start out, they start dropping out in middle school but there are still not enough spots for the kids who still want to play in high school.

We don’t think UVA is on par with Ivies. I was just giving an example of what I hear from parents with kids in high school. DH and I both attended college and grad schools ranked higher than UVA. I will only admit it on an anonymous forum but I would be disappointed with UVA.

Most people who went to Ivies wouldn’t get in nowadays. You might want to adjust your expectations.

Every generation says this. When the current students are 50 they’ll tell their kids that they wouldn’t get in nowadays. So who’s getting in?

Um no. Just look at acceptance rates for schools. Just look at the average GPAs and SATs at not just Ivys but many state schools. A very high GPA and SAT is the bare minimum to get in many places. Kids with incredible stats getting rejected left and right.

yes, but getting "incredible stats" is much easier. grade inflation is rampant. standardized tests have been recentered multiple times and it's much easier to achieve perfect scores. each student applies to many more colleges, driving down acceptance rates at every college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know families in the midwest who make 190K combined, raised 4 kids, and think they've made it. The kids all went to state college (think U Kansas, U Missouri), probably never heard of Amherst or Middlebury. They have like 80K left on 2.7% mortgage, drive two older model US cars, and are super happy. They have never been to Europe or Asia, don't see the need. Once every 5 years will go to Caribbean maybe Mexico. Most of the time their vacations are driving vacations. Depends on how you define MC, but there is a whole trench of MC across America who are ignorant of other possibilities, choices, avenues, careers. And ignorance is bliss.

OP here. This is exactly what I mean. I am thinking of one acquaintance whose kid recently went to Arizona or Alabama and totally proud and satisfied. They live in a modest home, have modest jobs and just seem happy. If you live in McLean and your kid has a 4.3 GPA, you won’t be able to get into UVA. It isn’t high enough. Your kid can play travel soccer or travel baseball their whole lives and get cut from the high school soccer team.

I know the locals think UVA is on par with the Ivies but the rest of the country doesn’t. It’s a very good well priced school but not something these parents who are super competitive would settle for.

As for kids sports that’s the way it is everywhere. Hundreds of kids start out, they start dropping out in middle school but there are still not enough spots for the kids who still want to play in high school.

We don’t think UVA is on par with Ivies. I was just giving an example of what I hear from parents with kids in high school. DH and I both attended college and grad schools ranked higher than UVA. I will only admit it on an anonymous forum but I would be disappointed with UVA.

Most people who went to Ivies wouldn’t get in nowadays. You might want to adjust your expectations.

Every generation says this. When the current students are 50 they’ll tell their kids that they wouldn’t get in nowadays. So who’s getting in?

Um no. Just look at acceptance rates for schools. Just look at the average GPAs and SATs at not just Ivys but many state schools. A very high GPA and SAT is the bare minimum to get in many places. Kids with incredible stats getting rejected left and right.

yes, but getting "incredible stats" is much easier. grade inflation is rampant. standardized tests have been recentered multiple times and it's much easier to achieve perfect scores. each student applies to many more colleges, driving down acceptance rates at every college.

I am not saying it's not easier to get some of these stats but that means that your 4.5 GPA/1500 something SAT/excellent ECs student still has a very small chance of getting into a top state school or Ivy school. And I would say that the tippy top students are actually way ahead of students in the past. Unfortunately the bottom 90% or so have probably gotten worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know families in the midwest who make 190K combined, raised 4 kids, and think they've made it. The kids all went to state college (think U Kansas, U Missouri), probably never heard of Amherst or Middlebury. They have like 80K left on 2.7% mortgage, drive two older model US cars, and are super happy. They have never been to Europe or Asia, don't see the need. Once every 5 years will go to Caribbean maybe Mexico. Most of the time their vacations are driving vacations. Depends on how you define MC, but there is a whole trench of MC across America who are ignorant of other possibilities, choices, avenues, careers. And ignorance is bliss.

OP here. This is exactly what I mean. I am thinking of one acquaintance whose kid recently went to Arizona or Alabama and totally proud and satisfied. They live in a modest home, have modest jobs and just seem happy. If you live in McLean and your kid has a 4.3 GPA, you won’t be able to get into UVA. It isn’t high enough. Your kid can play travel soccer or travel baseball their whole lives and get cut from the high school soccer team.

I know the locals think UVA is on par with the Ivies but the rest of the country doesn’t. It’s a very good well priced school but not something these parents who are super competitive would settle for.

As for kids sports that’s the way it is everywhere. Hundreds of kids start out, they start dropping out in middle school but there are still not enough spots for the kids who still want to play in high school.

We don’t think UVA is on par with Ivies. I was just giving an example of what I hear from parents with kids in high school. DH and I both attended college and grad schools ranked higher than UVA. I will only admit it on an anonymous forum but I would be disappointed with UVA.

Most people who went to Ivies wouldn’t get in nowadays. You might want to adjust your expectations.

Every generation says this. When the current students are 50 they’ll tell their kids that they wouldn’t get in nowadays. So who’s getting in?

Um no. Just look at acceptance rates for schools. Just look at the average GPAs and SATs at not just Ivys but many state schools. A very high GPA and SAT is the bare minimum to get in many places. Kids with incredible stats getting rejected left and right.

yes, but getting "incredible stats" is much easier. grade inflation is rampant. standardized tests have been recentered multiple times and it's much easier to achieve perfect scores. each student applies to many more colleges, driving down acceptance rates at every college.

I am not saying it's not easier to get some of these stats but that means that your 4.5 GPA/1500 something SAT/excellent ECs student still has a very small chance of getting into a top state school or Ivy school. And I would say that the tippy top students are actually way ahead of students in the past. Unfortunately the bottom 90% or so have probably gotten worse.

because there are so many of them now. many more have those scores, but they are easier to get (not about my kids - they will go to college abroad).

[Anonymous]

Anyone who thinks UMC families are happier than MC families has never been poor.

Pretty soon there won’t be a middle class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is stupid. There are rich people who are miserable. Elon Musk has been married 3 times. Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates cheated on their wives. The rich are not necessarily happier. They just have more money. They have other issues.

Same with poor people. I would rather be rich and be cheated on than poor and be cheated on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who thinks UMC families are happier than MC families has never been poor.

Pretty soon there won’t be a middle class.

There's a new study out throwing into question whether the panic over rising income inequality in the US is actually based on real data or not. The authors of the study say: not.

https://davidsplinter.com/AutenSplinter-Tax_Data_and_Inequality.pdf

[Anonymous]

No way! MC is now living paycheck to paycheck.

I'm in Falls Church and don't feel the competitiveness at all. I also have no tolerance for that sh&t so might be my choosing friend group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know families in the midwest who make 190K combined, raised 4 kids, and think they've made it. The kids all went to state college (think U Kansas, U Missouri), probably never heard of Amherst or Middlebury. They have like 80K left on 2.7% mortgage, drive two older model US cars, and are super happy. They have never been to Europe or Asia, don't see the need. Once every 5 years will go to Caribbean maybe Mexico. Most of the time their vacations are driving vacations. Depends on how you define MC, but there is a whole trench of MC across America who are ignorant of other possibilities, choices, avenues, careers. And ignorance is bliss.

OP here. This is exactly what I mean. I am thinking of one acquaintance whose kid recently went to Arizona or Alabama and totally proud and satisfied. They live in a modest home, have modest jobs and just seem happy. If you live in McLean and your kid has a 4.3 GPA, you won’t be able to get into UVA. It isn’t high enough. Your kid can play travel soccer or travel baseball their whole lives and get cut from the high school soccer team.

I know the locals think UVA is on par with the Ivies but the rest of the country doesn’t. It’s a very good well priced school but not something these parents who are super competitive would settle for.

As for kids sports that’s the way it is everywhere. Hundreds of kids start out, they start dropping out in middle school but there are still not enough spots for the kids who still want to play in high school.

We don’t think UVA is on par with Ivies. I was just giving an example of what I hear from parents with kids in high school. DH and I both attended college and grad schools ranked higher than UVA. I will only admit it on an anonymous forum but I would be disappointed with UVA.

Most people who went to Ivies wouldn’t get in nowadays. You might want to adjust your expectations.

Every generation says this. When the current students are 50 they’ll tell their kids that they wouldn’t get in nowadays. So who’s getting in?

Um no. Just look at acceptance rates for schools. Just look at the average GPAs and SATs at not just Ivys but many state schools. A very high GPA and SAT is the bare minimum to get in many places. Kids with incredible stats getting rejected left and right.

These days it's easier to get all As and the SAT is also easier than it was in our day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know families in the midwest who make 190K combined, raised 4 kids, and think they've made it. The kids all went to state college (think U Kansas, U Missouri), probably never heard of Amherst or Middlebury. They have like 80K left on 2.7% mortgage, drive two older model US cars, and are super happy. They have never been to Europe or Asia, don't see the need. Once every 5 years will go to Caribbean maybe Mexico. Most of the time their vacations are driving vacations. Depends on how you define MC, but there is a whole trench of MC across America who are ignorant of other possibilities, choices, avenues, careers. And ignorance is bliss.

OP here. This is exactly what I mean. I am thinking of one acquaintance whose kid recently went to Arizona or Alabama and totally proud and satisfied. They live in a modest home, have modest jobs and just seem happy. If you live in McLean and your kid has a 4.3 GPA, you won’t be able to get into UVA. It isn’t high enough. Your kid can play travel soccer or travel baseball their whole lives and get cut from the high school soccer team.

I know the locals think UVA is on par with the Ivies but the rest of the country doesn’t. It’s a very good well priced school but not something these parents who are super competitive would settle for.

As for kids sports that’s the way it is everywhere. Hundreds of kids start out, they start dropping out in middle school but there are still not enough spots for the kids who still want to play in high school.

We don’t think UVA is on par with Ivies. I was just giving an example of what I hear from parents with kids in high school. DH and I both attended college and grad schools ranked higher than UVA. I will only admit it on an anonymous forum but I would be disappointed with UVA.

Most people who went to Ivies wouldn’t get in nowadays. You might want to adjust your expectations.

Every generation says this. When the current students are 50 they’ll tell their kids that they wouldn’t get in nowadays. So who’s getting in?

Um no. Just look at acceptance rates for schools. Just look at the average GPAs and SATs at not just Ivys but many state schools. A very high GPA and SAT is the bare minimum to get in many places. Kids with incredible stats getting rejected left and right.

yes, but getting "incredible stats" is much easier. grade inflation is rampant. standardized tests have been recentered multiple times and it's much easier to achieve perfect scores. each student applies to many more colleges, driving down acceptance rates at every college.

I am not saying it's not easier to get some of these stats but that means that your 4.5 GPA/1500 something SAT/excellent ECs student still has a very small chance of getting into a top state school or Ivy school. And I would say that the tippy top students are actually way ahead of students in the past. Unfortunately the bottom 90% or so have probably gotten worse.

There are so many tippy top students these days that you can go to a top 75 school and still be surrounded by nothing by tippy top students.