To all the Nasty Parents
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Anonymous
| DD is a young athlete, at 10, she has always exhibited athletic ability and talent. She loves sports, the competition, pushing herself, always looking to get better. At some competitive events, be it basketball or soccer, she hears some of the nasty comments coming from parents on the opposing team, she usually ignores it and focuses on the game. Last night though she was in tears after her game. There were parents calling her # and telling the ref she did this and she did that, and talking loud enough for her to hear that she doesn't know what she's doing, that she's a bad player. This was more than one parent doing this, I heard a little of what she heard from where I was sitting but she heard a lot more down on the other side. She's playing a new sport this summer, and because she's athletic, she does well and dominates the game, but isn't as comfortable as she is in her main sport. Why are people so nasty? I would never speak of another child that way in public. Can you crazies just leave these kids alone?? How empty is your life that you are getting so upset about a game for 10 YOs?? Let the refs do their jobs, and get a life! |
Anonymous
| OP, I recommend confronting these people in person instead of venting on an online anonymous forum. |
Anonymous
| That's awful, OP. I'm really sorry for your DD to have to overhear this stuff. We're in the DC area and there are always some terrible parents but your DD's experience seems worse. Did she end up knocking kids down/fouling or causing a dangerous situation by mistake? I don't think it's right that parents are speaking that way to her or about her but the fact your child is often in this situation makes me think she may need to look at how she's playing and maybe tone it down a bit. Trying to say this nicely. |
Anonymous
This. You mention that this happened before - seems frequent? - and that it was several parents last night. Perhaps your version of her “dominating the game” is other parents version of poor sportsmanship. |
Anonymous
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Our league sends out periodic reminders about parent behavior. If yours doesn't, you should ask whoever's in charge to do so.
Here's an example I just found by searching for "parent code of conduct". Note in particular "Umpires are symbols of fair play, integrity and sportsmanship - Do not openly question their judgment or honesty." Parent's Code As a parent, you play a special role in the development of your child and of his/her teammates. Your encouragement and good example will do more to ensure good sportsmanship and self-discipline than any other influence. The other team is the opponent, not the enemy, and should be treated with respect. While winning is important, playing well and fairly is the essence of the game. 1. Support your child Support your child by giving encouragement and showing interest in his/her team. Help your child work toward skill improvement and good sportsmanship in every game. Teach your child that hard work and an honest effort are often more important than victory. 2. Always be positive Children learn more by example than by criticism. Work to be a positive role model, and reinforce positive behavior in others. Applaud good plays by others on your child's team as well as good plays by the opposing team. Do not criticize any child’s performance from the sidelines. Accept the results of each game. Teach your child to be gracious in victory and to turn defeat into victory by learning and working toward improvement. 3. Don't be a sideline coach or umpire Refrain from coaching or umpiring from the sidelines. Parents who shout or scream from the sidelines often give inappropriate advice at the wrong time. The coach should be the only sideline voice. Remain well back from the sidelines and within the spectator area. You and your child will both enjoy the game more if you put some emotional distance between yourself and the field or play. Umpires are symbols of fair play, integrity and sportsmanship - Do not openly question their judgment or honesty. 4. Demonstrate a positive attitude toward your opponents and their families Opponents are not enemies. Never allow yourself to be drawn into a verbal disagreement with opposing parents or coaches. No one has ever regretted letting “cooler heads prevail.” 5. Remember that your child wants to have fun Your child is the one playing baseball, not you. Children must establish their own goals - to play the game for themselves. Take care not to impose unreasonable demands on your child. Let your children experience the fun of playing as well as the challenge of excelling. We will not criticize the umpires openly or directly, during or after games. Any criticism shall be done in writing, sent to my coach and not verbally. We will give only positive feedback to players. We will cheer at all games within the spirit of fair play and shall do our best to cheer the effort regardless of the outcome. We will be mindful in “lopsided” game where cheering our own “winning” team might be misunderstood. We shall do our best to teach our players to become students of the game. We shall show the quality of our sportsmanship during and after each game and help our child remember to thank the umpire after the game without regard to the result. We shall do our very best to have our child prepared for every game. We shall support the learning efforts of the players, the coaches, and the ump[ires by demonstrating our patience. We shall leave the coaching to the coach during the game. We shall not give our child instructions during the game. We understand that the league can, and will if necessary, suspend our individual privilege to watch our child play should we behave in a manner that is rude or otherwise offensive. We agree to do our best to have as much fun watching the game as the players should have playing the game. |
Anonymous
| Oh you must be the parent of the kid who two hand shoved the girl with the ball? And then gave your kid two thumbs up. Great parenting. |
Anonymous
Yes, maybe do some research ad get your daughter playing against similar competition. Although it does not excuse these parents whatsoever, how would you feel if some kid shows up and just dominates your game. You wouldn't like it much either. |
Anonymous
I’m sorry but no. There’s a ref for that. Clearly it was nothing egregious enough for a foul to be called. Don’t even try to rationalize why a grown person would be nasty to a 10 year old. We are the adults in this equation. |
Anonymous
Apparently not since you’re saying this has happened before. When the common denominator is your kid - then you should objectively look at your kid’s behavior. |
Anonymous
| It’s not even my kid lol... I’m not the OP. You, however, are looking for reasons to rationalize heckling a 10 year old. |
Anonymous
Nice try - but no. |
Anonymous
Well alrighty then, my all-knowing liege 
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Anonymous
| Op, what are these parents responding to? |
Anonymous
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OP here. DD was not fouling anyone or being overly aggressive. She takes good sportsmanship seriously, for example, if she gets tangled up with another player and the other player or both of them fall down she helps her up and asks if she ok. She really is an exceptional athlete, I'm not just saying this, I've been told by coaches and parents for years. I think the parents are responding to the fact that DD can out run their kids and steal the ball away from them and score. So they were heckling her pretty badly. This has never happened before where she was being called out by her jersey #, I've hard it in the past where they will yell at the ref saying that play wasn't fair or whatever, but it was never directly at her and never personal like it was last night. She has always been able to ignore that type of stuff in the past, but last not was different, it was vicious.
I'm saddened and surprised that people automatically assume its her fault somehow, instead of being appalled like I was that grownups are acting this way at a child's game. |
Anonymous
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I have an exceptionally tall DD and she gets her number called out all the time and hears it along with "that big girl can't be this age" Parents are jackasses.
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