Always get a prenup if you have something to protect

[Anonymous]

My brother just finalized his divorce after less than 4 years of marriage. He was going to marry SIL without a prenup before our father intervened. He basically threatened to rewrite his will and restrict access to his trust fund to "protect him". My brother was so angry and threatened not to have anything to do with our dad. Dad stood his ground. I am not going to flat out call SIL a gold digger but she has gold digger tendencies. She enjoys the finer things in life but did not want to work hard to get them. She wanted to marry well instead. After the marriage she quit her job even though they did not have kids. She would go shopping and have lunches with her GF's. She did not go back to college to try and better herself. She had household help so she did not do anything domestic. This worked for them for a while anyway. Eventually the marriage did fall apart. It was as much my brothers fault as it was hers.

Let me tell you the claws came out when it came time to enforce the terms of the prenup that she signed 1 month before the wedding. Her lawyer made all sorts of unsubstantiated claims. They ended up in court and SIL tried to invalidate the prenup. There was a whole hearing over it. The court ended up enforcing every single clause in that prenup. My brother cut her a check and she was out of his life. If Dad had not stood his ground I am sure my brother would still be fighting her in court and paying some huge amount of spousal support.

My dad and brother did eventually make up I am glad to say. Seriously get a prenup.

[Anonymous]

Maybe just choose a better spouse. That probably should have been more of a focus when your parents raised you and your bro.

[Anonymous]

Lawyer here. I think your dad's move was the way to go. A lot of trusts now build in language to the effect that a child who marries without a prenup automatically foregoes their bequest. It also is easier on the relationship when you don't have a choice but to get the prenup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe just choose a better spouse. That probably should have been more of a focus when your parents raised you and your bro.

Or both.

[Anonymous]

I thought that as long as you don't co-mingle inheritance money with a joint bank account or something it isn't considered as joint assets?

[Anonymous]

I don’t know... in my case if something went wrong, all our properties (very limited cash) would go to our DDs which is where they will go anyway...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought that as long as you don't co-mingle inheritance money with a joint bank account or something it isn't considered as joint assets?

Safer to get a prenup. Just because it sets the standard. Coming from someone who was stupid enough to commingle assets.

[Anonymous]

I disagree. Your brother basically was planning for the marriage to fail and it did. What a surprise.

My IL’s demanded I sign a prenup. I said NO. They said the6 weren’t coming to the wedding.

We have been married 20 year and all the prenup issues did was alienate my in laws from us and our kids.
I moved away from them as soon as I could.
I am in it for the long haul.

[Anonymous]

Op: do you work FT, or are you a sahm? Where do you stand on marital property in general?

If you're so adamant that spouses should bring nothing financial to the relationship in terms of joint assets, then how would that work for the sahm?

Your family sounds sad. How many times has your dad been divorced? How many kids are divorced or single?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree. Your brother basically was planning for the marriage to fail and it did. What a surprise.

My IL’s demanded I sign a prenup. I said NO. They said the6 weren’t coming to the wedding.

We have been married 20 year and all the prenup issues did was alienate my in laws from us and our kids.
I moved away from them as soon as I could.
I am in it for the long haul.

Well, that's not entirely the fault of your in-laws. The blame could just as easily apply to you for not agreeing to it.

[Anonymous]

What do you think about a prenup if you enter the marriage with only less than 150k or 200k in assets?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op: do you work FT, or are you a sahm? Where do you stand on marital property in general?

If you're so adamant that spouses should bring nothing financial to the relationship in terms of joint assets, then how would that work for the sahm?

Your family sounds sad. How many times has your dad been divorced? How many kids are divorced or single?

Clearly, you were triggered by OP's success story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree. Your brother basically was planning for the marriage to fail and it did. What a surprise.

My IL’s demanded I sign a prenup. I said NO. They said the6 weren’t coming to the wedding.

We have been married 20 year and all the prenup issues did was alienate my in laws from us and our kids.
I moved away from them as soon as I could.
I am in it for the long haul.

Well, that's not entirely the fault of your in-laws. The blame could just as easily apply to you for not agreeing to it.

Well yes I chose that. I don't regret a thing and they do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you think about a prenup if you enter the marriage with only less than 150k or 200k in assets?

You’re a moron to be adversarial with your significant other over so little? You’re really really stupid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree. Your brother basically was planning for the marriage to fail and it did. What a surprise.

My IL’s demanded I sign a prenup. I said NO. They said the6 weren’t coming to the wedding.

We have been married 20 year and all the prenup issues did was alienate my in laws from us and our kids.
I moved away from them as soon as I could.
I am in it for the long haul.

1. You must be a woman.
2. You must be stupid.

A prenup has nothing to do with the marriage. It has to do with the man's family. If my son marries a woman and they get divorced, I do not want the money I WORKED HARD FOR to go to her. Understand?