Always get a prenup if you have something to protect

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Responding again...I don't think I was unreasonable to mention that I'd like to have something in writing saying that if things don't work, I'd like to at least protect my savings that I brought into the marriage

And yes .. outside of the DCUM bubble of rich people, that's a lot of money

I live in Toronto and that’s not a lot of money. Good god, my nephew lives in his parents basement at a dead end job and has 100k saved up and he isn’t even 30.

Are you Canadian? If so, you should be ashamed for being such a snob

As a Canadian, I'm embarrassed for you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree. Your brother basically was planning for the marriage to fail and it did. What a surprise.

My IL’s demanded I sign a prenup. I said NO. They said the6 weren’t coming to the wedding.

We have been married 20 year and all the prenup issues did was alienate my in laws from us and our kids.
I moved away from them as soon as I could.
I am in it for the long haul.

1. You must be a woman.
2. You must be stupid.

A prenup has nothing to do with the marriage. It has to do with the man's family. If my son marries a woman and they get divorced, I do not want the money I WORKED HARD FOR to go to her. Understand?

I always told my in laws they shouldn’t give gifts to DH with conditions. Don’t give DH a share of your company if you are going to insist he have his wife sign a prenup. I did tell my in laws he can sign everything back to them. I don’t care about the money but they will NOT dictate what happens in my marriage.
Don’t give your kids money you are afraid of losing in the event of a divorce.

If you are having these conversations after 10 years of marriage, and they still don't trust you, something is seriously wrong. They should now that you are a decent person at this point.

A lot of assumptions....
All the conversations happened before the marriage. We have been happily married for 20 years. They know I am a decent person and I’m sure they regret that they screwed up the relationships.
We see them three times a year and they live an hour away.
They hoped I will sign a prenup, they knew I wouldn’t like the idea but they assumed I would be over it in a few months. When they were harassing me to sign, I knew from that point on they were dead to me.

Why are you so sure they have regrets?

[Anonymous]

They cry all the time that we don't see them and they wish they were more a part of the children's lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Responding again...I don't think I was unreasonable to mention that I'd like to have something in writing saying that if things don't work, I'd like to at least protect my savings that I brought into the marriage

And yes .. outside of the DCUM bubble of rich people, that's a lot of money

I live in Toronto and that’s not a lot of money. Good god, my nephew lives in his parents basement at a dead end job and has 100k saved up and he isn’t even 30.

Are you Canadian? If so, you should be ashamed for being such a snob

As a Canadian, I'm embarrassed for you

Any country can have snobs. What flawed thinking you have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you think about a prenup if you enter the marriage with only less than 150k or 200k in assets?

You’re a moron to be adversarial with your significant other over so little? You’re really really stupid?

200K isn't insignificant to most people outside of the DC bubble.

Yes. $200k is more than most people have in their retirement account. It's the difference between retiring at 65 and 75.

You idiots. Poison the well at the start of the ONE relationship, over money. And not Forbes cover person money. That’s planning to fail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree. Your brother basically was planning for the marriage to fail and it did. What a surprise.

My IL’s demanded I sign a prenup. I said NO. They said the6 weren’t coming to the wedding.

We have been married 20 year and all the prenup issues did was alienate my in laws from us and our kids.
I moved away from them as soon as I could.
I am in it for the long haul.

1. You must be a woman.
2. You must be stupid.

A prenup has nothing to do with the marriage. It has to do with the man's family. If my son marries a woman and they get divorced, I do not want the money I WORKED HARD FOR to go to her. Understand?

I always told my in laws they shouldn’t give gifts to DH with conditions. Don’t give DH a share of your company if you are going to insist he have his wife sign a prenup. I did tell my in laws he can sign everything back to them. I don’t care about the money but they will NOT dictate what happens in my marriage.
Don’t give your kids money you are afraid of losing in the event of a divorce.

50% of marriages fail
Why is it given that any family money is immediately ‘yours’.

In our marriage there is no "his and hers". Everything is ours including inheritances we have received.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree. Your brother basically was planning for the marriage to fail and it did. What a surprise.

My IL’s demanded I sign a prenup. I said NO. They said the6 weren’t coming to the wedding.

We have been married 20 year and all the prenup issues did was alienate my in laws from us and our kids.
I moved away from them as soon as I could.
I am in it for the long haul.

1. You must be a woman.
2. You must be stupid.

A prenup has nothing to do with the marriage. It has to do with the man's family. If my son marries a woman and they get divorced, I do not want the money I WORKED HARD FOR to go to her. Understand?

I always told my in laws they shouldn’t give gifts to DH with conditions. Don’t give DH a share of your company if you are going to insist he have his wife sign a prenup. I did tell my in laws he can sign everything back to them. I don’t care about the money but they will NOT dictate what happens in my marriage.
Don’t give your kids money you are afraid of losing in the event of a divorce.

50% of marriages fail
Why is it given that any family money is immediately ‘yours’.

In our marriage there is no "his and hers". Everything is ours including inheritances we have received.

Which is just great if you don’t bring much to the table.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op: do you work FT, or are you a sahm? Where do you stand on marital property in general?

If you're so adamant that spouses should bring nothing financial to the relationship in terms of joint assets, then how would that work for the sahm?

Your family sounds sad. How many times has your dad been divorced? How many kids are divorced or single?

I work full time. My H had no problem signing a prenup. I think a woman does herself a disservice by being a SAHM and leaves herself vulnerable if a divorce does happen. My parents are still married after 35 years. I have been married for 2 years, brother is divorced and another brother who has never been married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you think about a prenup if you enter the marriage with only less than 150k or 200k in assets?

You’re a moron to be adversarial with your significant other over so little? You’re really really stupid?

200K isn't insignificant to most people outside of the DC bubble.

Yes. $200k is more than most people have in their retirement account. It's the difference between retiring at 65 and 75.

You idiots. Poison the well at the start of the ONE relationship, over money. And not Forbes cover person money. That’s planning to fail.

The ONE relationship? No such thing in my experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Responding again...I don't think I was unreasonable to mention that I'd like to have something in writing saying that if things don't work, I'd like to at least protect my savings that I brought into the marriage

And yes .. outside of the DCUM bubble of rich people, that's a lot of money

I live in Toronto and that’s not a lot of money. Good god, my nephew lives in his parents basement at a dead end job and has 100k saved up and he isn’t even 30.

Isn't 100k in Canadian dollars like 150 USD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you think about a prenup if you enter the marriage with only less than 150k or 200k in assets?

You’re a moron to be adversarial with your significant other over so little? You’re really really stupid?

200K isn't insignificant to most people outside of the DC bubble.

Yes. $200k is more than most people have in their retirement account. It's the difference between retiring at 65 and 75.

You idiots. Poison the well at the start of the ONE relationship, over money. And not Forbes cover person money. That’s planning to fail.

The ONE relationship? No such thing in my experience.

How many people are you considering asking to a sign a prenup? See, generally thinking of a prenup is an indication of starting a marriage, with one person.

[Anonymous]

Most people would not start a business venture with their best friend without out some type of contract.

I really don't understand why marriage is any different. It seems to be the only financial arrangements where it is seen as poor taste to formalize the expectations in advance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most people would not start a business venture with their best friend without out some type of contract.

I really don't understand why marriage is any different. It seems to be the only financial arrangements where it is seen as poor taste to formalize the expectations in advance.

Because you are putting a price on what someone - mostly women - are worth. And people always think they are worth more than they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They cry all the time that we don't see them and they wish they were more a part of the children's lives.

NP. From what you've written on this thread, and maybe it's just how you're phrasing things, you don't seem like a very kind person. It's been 20 years and you're still holding a grudge against the people who raised your DH? To the point where you keep their grandchildren from them? What lessons do you think your kids are absorbing from all of that? I suspect it's not "don't sign a prenup."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They cry all the time that we don't see them and they wish they were more a part of the children's lives.

NP. From what you've written on this thread, and maybe it's just how you're phrasing things, you don't seem like a very kind person. It's been 20 years and you're still holding a grudge against the people who raised your DH? To the point where you keep their grandchildren from them? What lessons do you think your kids are absorbing from all of that? I suspect it's not "don't sign a prenup."

+1
Twenty years is a long time to hold a grudge.