Do men regret their divorces?

[Anonymous]

Any stories about a guy who left his marriage on a whim, but later regretted it? Maybe delusional? Thought he could do better, then found out that was not the case?

[Anonymous]

I personally know 2 men who regretted it. Both cheated. Both wives ended up doing really well. One got the kids and the home and remarried. He probably won't ever be able to retire. The other cheaters new wife died. He tried to go back to his ex. Though they share 3 kids she never talked to him again (kids over 18). He didn't find anyone and died last year.

[Anonymous]

Ok.... My husband left me and the kids. Walked out the door for his mistress. He told me he regrets it. He doesn't cry himself to sleep every night (I don't think), he made peace (to some degree?) with the fact he pretty much f-ed up his life. We are friends.

[Anonymous]

I'm divorced male. I did not realize just how miserable I was in the marriage until after being divorced for several years. It took a while for the emotional abuse I suffered at her had to wear off. On the one hand I'm so glad not to be married to her any longer and I would never go back. I am sad for how the divorce and her continually bad mouthing me has impacted the kids. I was drowning in that marriage and did not really know how all the badgering and mental games had messed me up. When she filed for the divorce she expected I would beg her not to. I didn't beg and she got irrationally angry. Years later I am glad for the divorce. I will never go back to her. I'm happy in my new life even if I feel sad for the old one.

Like the previous poster said. I regret marrying her but not the divorce. The divorce cost me almost a million in assets and somehow it was worth every penny.

[Anonymous]

My 50 year old ex cheater is back living in his mom's basement again. So yeah, I'd say he knows he f'ed up his life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm divorced male. I did not realize just how miserable I was in the marriage until after being divorced for several years. It took a while for the emotional abuse I suffered at her had to wear off. On the one hand I'm so glad not to be married to her any longer and I would never go back. I am sad for how the divorce and her continually bad mouthing me has impacted the kids. I was drowning in that marriage and did not really know how all the badgering and mental games had messed me up. When she filed for the divorce she expected I would beg her not to. I didn't beg and she got irrationally angry. Years later I am glad for the divorce. I will never go back to her. I'm happy in my new life even if I feel sad for the old one.

Like the previous poster said. I regret marrying her but not the divorce. The divorce cost me almost a million in assets and somehow it was worth every penny.

Happy for you, seriously. Best of luck, hope you will meet your soulmate soon.

I am a woman. My first ex regretted our divorce and will come back (it has been over 20 years), he told me that.
My second husband regrets that he ever married me.
Go figure!

No monetary issues/cheating/etc were involved in both marriages. Just mismatched personalities.
I regret both marriages. Guest marriage is my best bet, works wonders, 17 years and counting))

[Anonymous]

A friend of mine regrets it. His ex-wife remarried within two years and had kids with her new husband. My friend is still single, has gained weight and lost hair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any stories about a guy who left his marriage on a whim, but later regretted it? Maybe delusional? Thought he could do better, then found out that was not the case?

Men don't usually divorce because they think they can "do better". Men leave because they are not happy. Yes, men need to be happy also. This notion that it's always the man's fault is so stupid and bias. Some women never learn. When a man isn't happy in a marriage it's the wife's fault also. It's a two way street. It's both party's fault. I know several men who are divorced. None regret it. Why? Because they were so unhappy! We only live for so long, way waste years of it being sad, frustrated and just unhappy waking up.

I don't think most women believe they were perfect (I don't.) But I don't believe my STBXDH put the effort in someone who wanted to save their marriage would. And several times now, my STBX has said things like "I didn't really think you'd leave." So when we were having those awful months of trying and working on things, and we would have the long, terrible discussions and he'd say he was still unhappy... all that time, he still just thought it would work out. Even though he didn't put in the effort or do the work or do the things he said he'd do, he still was surprised when after months of hell, I left. So there are men out there who say they're unhappy but then also just want to sit back and wait for the wife to fix it for them, and that's not how it works. And I'm sure my husband was not the first man to think along the lines of "if it's meant to be, I'll be happy, and it'll all work out" when that isn't how real life works. So while it's not my husband's fault our marriage was flawed, I do not think he handled it well and I don't think he put in the effort he should.

At least you have the guts to admit you had a part to play in a flawed marriage. Women very rarely take accountability for their contributions to the failure. That means you are probably a gem in my book. Anybody who can take accountability for their shortcomings is a person that can have a real give and take relationship.

I mean I can't say for sure, but I'm sure most women can admit they aren't perfect. BUT we can feel very bitter sometimes because we shouldn't be expected to be perfect, and sometimes my ex comes off like he was just so wonderful and amazing all the time... and obviously that's not the case. Nobody is perfect. I probably shouldn't even talk about this anymore because I feel like I might get worked up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok.... My husband left me and the kids. Walked out the door for his mistress. He told me he regrets it. He doesn't cry himself to sleep every night (I don't think), he made peace (to some degree?) with the fact he pretty much f-ed up his life. We are friends.

Another story from a woman. I wonder what he would tell me if I met him in a bar.

You do realize that the story he tells you at the bar may not be the truth either, right? Most people don't like to admit when they have made a mistake, so they put on a happy front.

My ex told me on numerous occasions that he felt like our divorce was a mistake and that he wanted to get back together-- he cheated and he filed for the divorce. He never got back on his feet after the divorce (we had a 50/50 split so there was no child support) and he died from heart disease exactly two years after we split. He was only 44 at the time of his death.

I thrived after the divorce and would have never gone back to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any stories about a guy who left his marriage on a whim, but later regretted it? Maybe delusional? Thought he could do better, then found out that was not the case?

Men don't usually divorce because they think they can "do better". Men leave because they are not happy. Yes, men need to be happy also. This notion that it's always the man's fault is so stupid and bias. Some women never learn. When a man isn't happy in a marriage it's the wife's fault also. It's a two way street. It's both party's fault. I know several men who are divorced. None regret it. Why? Because they were so unhappy! We only live for so long, way waste years of it being sad, frustrated and just unhappy waking up.

I don't think most women believe they were perfect (I don't.) But I don't believe my STBXDH put the effort in someone who wanted to save their marriage would. And several times now, my STBX has said things like "I didn't really think you'd leave." So when we were having those awful months of trying and working on things, and we would have the long, terrible discussions and he'd say he was still unhappy... all that time, he still just thought it would work out. Even though he didn't put in the effort or do the work or do the things he said he'd do, he still was surprised when after months of hell, I left. So there are men out there who say they're unhappy but then also just want to sit back and wait for the wife to fix it for them, and that's not how it works. And I'm sure my husband was not the first man to think along the lines of "if it's meant to be, I'll be happy, and it'll all work out" when that isn't how real life works. So while it's not my husband's fault our marriage was flawed, I do not think he handled it well and I don't think he put in the effort he should.

At least you have the guts to admit you had a part to play in a flawed marriage. Women very rarely take accountability for their contributions to the failure. That means you are probably a gem in my book. Anybody who can take accountability for their shortcomings is a person that can have a real give and take relationship.

I mean I can't say for sure, but I'm sure most women can admit they aren't perfect. BUT we can feel very bitter sometimes because we shouldn't be expected to be perfect, and sometimes my ex comes off like he was just so wonderful and amazing all the time... and obviously that's not the case. Nobody is perfect. I probably shouldn't even talk about this anymore because I feel like I might get worked up!

DP but I have to add - if you think a marriage should be perfect, don't get married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any stories about a guy who left his marriage on a whim, but later regretted it? Maybe delusional? Thought he could do better, then found out that was not the case?

The only part of the divorce most men will regret is the wealth lost and alimony payment. Once they get over that (if they can) it's smooth sailing..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I personally know 2 men who regretted it. Both cheated. Both wives ended up doing really well. One got the kids and the home and remarried. He probably won't ever be able to retire. The other cheaters new wife died. He tried to go back to his ex. Though they share 3 kids she never talked to him again (kids over 18). He didn't find anyone and died last year.

Really? So, the "cheating" husband's new wife "died", then he "died"? LOL, of these made up stories go too far. Men haters..

Cuz people never die.

[Anonymous]

You do realize that the story he tells you at the bar may not be the truth either, right? Most people don't like to admit when they have made a mistake, so they put on a happy front.

First, he'd be telling at the bar the factual part you leave out in your telling, whatever the story is.
Second, you're pretending that not admitting mistakes is something women don't do as frequently as men. That makes _you_ a tad untruthful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok.... My husband left me and the kids. Walked out the door for his mistress. He told me he regrets it. He doesn't cry himself to sleep every night (I don't think), he made peace (to some degree?) with the fact he pretty much f-ed up his life. We are friends.

Another story from a woman. I wonder what he would tell me if I met him in a bar.

Huh? I missed where OP said (s)he only wanted stories directly from men...oh wait no I didn't. Not sure what my XH would tell you in a bar! But it would probably include that he feels his children are being raised by the best mother in the world. I guarantee he would tell anyone that.

OP asked, I answered. No idea why my account bothers you! Not true, I think I know

Good luck with your life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok.... My husband left me and the kids. Walked out the door for his mistress. He told me he regrets it. He doesn't cry himself to sleep every night (I don't think), he made peace (to some degree?) with the fact he pretty much f-ed up his life. We are friends.

Another story from a woman. I wonder what he would tell me if I met him in a bar.

Huh? I missed where OP said (s)he only wanted stories directly from men...oh wait no I didn't. Not sure what my XH would tell you in a bar! But it would probably include that he feels his children are being raised by the best mother in the world. I guarantee he would tell anyone that.

OP asked, I answered. No idea why my account bothers you! Not true, I think I know

Good luck with your life!

Oh PP here. Also, I left out nothing. My XH would dispute nothing I've said. He might say I was kind to leave out the salacious details on his part. Good night!