Mom Cliques. I had no idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was sharing her experience and how it made her feel. She wasn’t asking for your analysis of the situation but looking to see if others have had similar experiences. Some of you are so self absorbed and didn’t even read, understand, or care to, what the poster was looking to discuss. So why engage? To show anonymously your viscous selves and then smile to women you don’t like tomorrow at school pick up?

OP was asking for nasty, judgmental stories about women that people barely know so she could laugh at them and call them names. So sorry most people didn't comply.

Or she was asking for points of comparison so she can understand if she is the only one experiencing being excluded. But go on, continue to misunderstand and hate. That will surely be something your kids pick up from you.

+1

Running into several school mom acquaintances during the day, while on a work event planning meeting, is not “being excluded”

It might be and it might not. It really depends on the circumstances.

The real problem on this thread is that people on both sides are making assumptions about OPs situation that may or may not be true and then laying down a firm edict like yours above that allows for no other possibility.

My guess is that most moms on this thread are not horrible people who purposefully exclude in real life. And many of us have been on both sides of this scenario. But for some reason on this thread, people are coming down hard and being quite belligerent. it's bizarre really.

OP provided zero evidence that these women purposefully excluded her. None. If it had been there, don't you think she would have included it in her posts?

This is not court, you aren't a prosecutor. No one ever provides "evidence" of any interpersonal reaction on this website, it's anonymous and who has the time.

OP *felt* excluded. That's the subject of the thread. Sure, she might have misinterpreted the situation, always possible. But the idea that it's her job to prove to you that her feelings accurately reflected what happened is silly, because she could never do so.

She saw a big group of women from her kids' school, including a few people she considers close friends, and she felt excluded. The end. There is no point in litigating that. If you want to say "I think you probably misinterpreted this situation and are overreacting" that's fine. But demanding evidence to prove that her perception of the situation is correct? It's hostile and misguided. I hate it when people do this in threads because it just bogs them down in "I don't believe OP, OP is a sociopath, OP is a troll" and nothing fruitful is discussed. If you don't believe an OP, just... don't respond to the thread. It's that easy.

Um, yes, people provide "evidence" of things on here all the time. It's called giving people the facts. It wouldn't have taken that long for OP to do that. She spent the time posting emojis, using all bold type, and hitting at least one additional button for all the punctuation she used. Explaining what exactly had happened would have taken less time.

Everyone who said OP was misinterpreting the situation and overreacted was called names. So that's how that worked out.

+1

She asserts that the others “felt awkward” but how the heck does she know how others are feeling?

If she said shared that she went over to say hi and they ignored her or were short with her or gave her a nasty look and walked away she’d have a point. But why not share if that is what happened vs a vague assertion that she knows what is in the mind of other people. I think she was projecting her feelings onto them most likely.

The number of you who seem to think this is a court of law and you've been asked to come and assess the validity of OP's feelings is amazing.

I tend to believe that OP was excluded in some way and the other women looked awkward, specifically because she didn't provide an airtight story with perfect facts that would prove to you once and for all that this women definitely excluded her. Her story rings true to me because she's not trying to present it in this perfect way that will satisfy a bunch of people who are determined to say she had no right to feel the way she did.

Does that mean the other women are terrible? No! I've been in the group that left someone out before. I am not a terrible person and in most cases I either didn't know someone had been left out or I felt there was a good reason for doing it. But also -- I bet it didn't feel good for those women.

You can believe OP that it was awkward and that she felt bad without needing to call in the National Guard to investigate exactly what happened here.

Okay well just like you believe OP’s story rings true, I do not believe her based on the lack of supportive facts and overreactive text message (nearly everyone agrees on the latter part). My personal take is that someone who sends that type of message is an over-reactor based on subjective feelings and not a reliable narrator of objective facts.

We’ll just have to disagree. Such is the nature of discussion boards. Because I have a different take doesn’t mean I’m treating it like a court of law. I’m just interpreting the same post in a different way as are many others.

I agree with you that it's fine if we disagree. I don't have a problem with that.

What I think is weird is people saying "show me the evidence! I want evidence!" What? You either identify/believe OP or you don't. If you don't, I don't even understand why you'd hang around on the thread.

There is zero point in arguing over what "really" happened because we'll never know. So you can either engage with it at face value (okay, assuming this is what happened, here's my take) or you can decide it's bunk and move on.

+100 and THANK YOU.

Whenever someone tries to just take the OP at face value and say "oh yeah, I've experienced that" or even "I can see why that was awkward" or whatever, a bunch of posters are like " We don't even know this happened! OP probably didn't even know them! They didn't feel awkward how would OP know that! OP just posted this to make fun of women who hang out with friends!" Like.... Okay, maybe. But we'll never know. So can we just talk about cliques or experiences feeling excluded from mom groups as though it is true, since otherwise there's no point to the thread?

I often encounter threads or posters where I just think "no, this person is lying." But I don't engage in extensive back and forth over it because it's pointless. People can say whatever they want in here. If it doesn't pass the smell test, the best thing to do is ignore.

Those of you who don't believe OP turned something that probably should have been a 3-4 page thread into a 50 page thread. For nothing.

You realize every thread in here is "for nothing" right? We're not solving global issues here.

I have interesting conversations about topics that interest me on here all the time. Otherworldly SE I wouldn't be on here.

You're very interested in whether OP was excluded from a group of acquaintances or not?

I have zero interest in that unknowable question.

I am interested in women's friends groups and their perceived exclusivity or inclusivity, and how different women approach that idea. I have found this thread fascinating in part because of the surprisingly severe opinions some have expressed. I didn't realize how polarizing the proposal that sometimes women can be exclusive in their friend group was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was sharing her experience and how it made her feel. She wasn’t asking for your analysis of the situation but looking to see if others have had similar experiences. Some of you are so self absorbed and didn’t even read, understand, or care to, what the poster was looking to discuss. So why engage? To show anonymously your viscous selves and then smile to women you don’t like tomorrow at school pick up?

OP was asking for nasty, judgmental stories about women that people barely know so she could laugh at them and call them names. So sorry most people didn't comply.

Or she was asking for points of comparison so she can understand if she is the only one experiencing being excluded. But go on, continue to misunderstand and hate. That will surely be something your kids pick up from you.

+1

Running into several school mom acquaintances during the day, while on a work event planning meeting, is not “being excluded”

It might be and it might not. It really depends on the circumstances.

The real problem on this thread is that people on both sides are making assumptions about OPs situation that may or may not be true and then laying down a firm edict like yours above that allows for no other possibility.

My guess is that most moms on this thread are not horrible people who purposefully exclude in real life. And many of us have been on both sides of this scenario. But for some reason on this thread, people are coming down hard and being quite belligerent. it's bizarre really.

OP provided zero evidence that these women purposefully excluded her. None. If it had been there, don't you think she would have included it in her posts?

This is not court, you aren't a prosecutor. No one ever provides "evidence" of any interpersonal reaction on this website, it's anonymous and who has the time.

OP *felt* excluded. That's the subject of the thread. Sure, she might have misinterpreted the situation, always possible. But the idea that it's her job to prove to you that her feelings accurately reflected what happened is silly, because she could never do so.

She saw a big group of women from her kids' school, including a few people she considers close friends, and she felt excluded. The end. There is no point in litigating that. If you want to say "I think you probably misinterpreted this situation and are overreacting" that's fine. But demanding evidence to prove that her perception of the situation is correct? It's hostile and misguided. I hate it when people do this in threads because it just bogs them down in "I don't believe OP, OP is a sociopath, OP is a troll" and nothing fruitful is discussed. If you don't believe an OP, just... don't respond to the thread. It's that easy.

Um, yes, people provide "evidence" of things on here all the time. It's called giving people the facts. It wouldn't have taken that long for OP to do that. She spent the time posting emojis, using all bold type, and hitting at least one additional button for all the punctuation she used. Explaining what exactly had happened would have taken less time.

Everyone who said OP was misinterpreting the situation and overreacted was called names. So that's how that worked out.

+1

She asserts that the others “felt awkward” but how the heck does she know how others are feeling?

If she said shared that she went over to say hi and they ignored her or were short with her or gave her a nasty look and walked away she’d have a point. But why not share if that is what happened vs a vague assertion that she knows what is in the mind of other people. I think she was projecting her feelings onto them most likely.

The number of you who seem to think this is a court of law and you've been asked to come and assess the validity of OP's feelings is amazing.

I tend to believe that OP was excluded in some way and the other women looked awkward, specifically because she didn't provide an airtight story with perfect facts that would prove to you once and for all that this women definitely excluded her. Her story rings true to me because she's not trying to present it in this perfect way that will satisfy a bunch of people who are determined to say she had no right to feel the way she did.

Does that mean the other women are terrible? No! I've been in the group that left someone out before. I am not a terrible person and in most cases I either didn't know someone had been left out or I felt there was a good reason for doing it. But also -- I bet it didn't feel good for those women.

You can believe OP that it was awkward and that she felt bad without needing to call in the National Guard to investigate exactly what happened here.

Some of us are reading her post and saying based on the lack of supportive facts (even with some tweaks for privacy reasons) and that it is full of subjective statements, we do not have reason to fully believe her objective experience.

Some people are reading her post and inferring facts (likely from their own personal experiences as we are all prone to do) and saying she likely interpreted the situation reasonably as a rejection.

I fall in the former camp. You fall in the latter. Such is the discussion. Just because I can in theory believe OP doesn’t mean I do or that I’m wrong for not thinking her take is accurate based on what has been shared.

But that discussion is pointless. "I believe her." "Well I don't." We can't prove it either way so that's the end of that.

The reason you have to take OP at face value to have a productive conversation is that it's the only way to get to the underlying issue, which is more interesting than debating an unknowable fact like whether these women did in fact look awkward upon seeing OP.

You can't have a productive conversation from a faulty premise.

Then why are you here? Some people don't find the premise faulty and are wiling to discuss it.

It seems like you are here to stop others from having a conversation they want to have, which is a weird waste of everyone's time, including yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was sharing her experience and how it made her feel. She wasn’t asking for your analysis of the situation but looking to see if others have had similar experiences. Some of you are so self absorbed and didn’t even read, understand, or care to, what the poster was looking to discuss. So why engage? To show anonymously your viscous selves and then smile to women you don’t like tomorrow at school pick up?

OP was asking for nasty, judgmental stories about women that people barely know so she could laugh at them and call them names. So sorry most people didn't comply.

Or she was asking for points of comparison so she can understand if she is the only one experiencing being excluded. But go on, continue to misunderstand and hate. That will surely be something your kids pick up from you.

+1

Running into several school mom acquaintances during the day, while on a work event planning meeting, is not “being excluded”

It might be and it might not. It really depends on the circumstances.

The real problem on this thread is that people on both sides are making assumptions about OPs situation that may or may not be true and then laying down a firm edict like yours above that allows for no other possibility.

My guess is that most moms on this thread are not horrible people who purposefully exclude in real life. And many of us have been on both sides of this scenario. But for some reason on this thread, people are coming down hard and being quite belligerent. it's bizarre really.

OP provided zero evidence that these women purposefully excluded her. None. If it had been there, don't you think she would have included it in her posts?

This is not court, you aren't a prosecutor. No one ever provides "evidence" of any interpersonal reaction on this website, it's anonymous and who has the time.

OP *felt* excluded. That's the subject of the thread. Sure, she might have misinterpreted the situation, always possible. But the idea that it's her job to prove to you that her feelings accurately reflected what happened is silly, because she could never do so.

She saw a big group of women from her kids' school, including a few people she considers close friends, and she felt excluded. The end. There is no point in litigating that. If you want to say "I think you probably misinterpreted this situation and are overreacting" that's fine. But demanding evidence to prove that her perception of the situation is correct? It's hostile and misguided. I hate it when people do this in threads because it just bogs them down in "I don't believe OP, OP is a sociopath, OP is a troll" and nothing fruitful is discussed. If you don't believe an OP, just... don't respond to the thread. It's that easy.

Um, yes, people provide "evidence" of things on here all the time. It's called giving people the facts. It wouldn't have taken that long for OP to do that. She spent the time posting emojis, using all bold type, and hitting at least one additional button for all the punctuation she used. Explaining what exactly had happened would have taken less time.

Everyone who said OP was misinterpreting the situation and overreacted was called names. So that's how that worked out.

+1

She asserts that the others “felt awkward” but how the heck does she know how others are feeling?

If she said shared that she went over to say hi and they ignored her or were short with her or gave her a nasty look and walked away she’d have a point. But why not share if that is what happened vs a vague assertion that she knows what is in the mind of other people. I think she was projecting her feelings onto them most likely.

The number of you who seem to think this is a court of law and you've been asked to come and assess the validity of OP's feelings is amazing.

I tend to believe that OP was excluded in some way and the other women looked awkward, specifically because she didn't provide an airtight story with perfect facts that would prove to you once and for all that this women definitely excluded her. Her story rings true to me because she's not trying to present it in this perfect way that will satisfy a bunch of people who are determined to say she had no right to feel the way she did.

Does that mean the other women are terrible? No! I've been in the group that left someone out before. I am not a terrible person and in most cases I either didn't know someone had been left out or I felt there was a good reason for doing it. But also -- I bet it didn't feel good for those women.

You can believe OP that it was awkward and that she felt bad without needing to call in the National Guard to investigate exactly what happened here.

Some of us are reading her post and saying based on the lack of supportive facts (even with some tweaks for privacy reasons) and that it is full of subjective statements, we do not have reason to fully believe her objective experience.

Some people are reading her post and inferring facts (likely from their own personal experiences as we are all prone to do) and saying she likely interpreted the situation reasonably as a rejection.

I fall in the former camp. You fall in the latter. Such is the discussion. Just because I can in theory believe OP doesn’t mean I do or that I’m wrong for not thinking her take is accurate based on what has been shared.

But that discussion is pointless. "I believe her." "Well I don't." We can't prove it either way so that's the end of that.

The reason you have to take OP at face value to have a productive conversation is that it's the only way to get to the underlying issue, which is more interesting than debating an unknowable fact like whether these women did in fact look awkward upon seeing OP.

You can't have a productive conversation from a faulty premise.

Then why are you here? Some people don't find the premise faulty and are wiling to discuss it.

It seems like you are here to stop others from having a conversation they want to have, which is a weird waste of everyone's time, including yours.

Why are you here? This isn't an echo chamber. I'm not going to talk about excluding behavior if we can't even agree what it is. If you don't like that conversation, you know where the door is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was sharing her experience and how it made her feel. She wasn’t asking for your analysis of the situation but looking to see if others have had similar experiences. Some of you are so self absorbed and didn’t even read, understand, or care to, what the poster was looking to discuss. So why engage? To show anonymously your viscous selves and then smile to women you don’t like tomorrow at school pick up?

OP was asking for nasty, judgmental stories about women that people barely know so she could laugh at them and call them names. So sorry most people didn't comply.

Or she was asking for points of comparison so she can understand if she is the only one experiencing being excluded. But go on, continue to misunderstand and hate. That will surely be something your kids pick up from you.

+1

Running into several school mom acquaintances during the day, while on a work event planning meeting, is not “being excluded”

It might be and it might not. It really depends on the circumstances.

The real problem on this thread is that people on both sides are making assumptions about OPs situation that may or may not be true and then laying down a firm edict like yours above that allows for no other possibility.

My guess is that most moms on this thread are not horrible people who purposefully exclude in real life. And many of us have been on both sides of this scenario. But for some reason on this thread, people are coming down hard and being quite belligerent. it's bizarre really.

OP provided zero evidence that these women purposefully excluded her. None. If it had been there, don't you think she would have included it in her posts?

This is not court, you aren't a prosecutor. No one ever provides "evidence" of any interpersonal reaction on this website, it's anonymous and who has the time.

OP *felt* excluded. That's the subject of the thread. Sure, she might have misinterpreted the situation, always possible. But the idea that it's her job to prove to you that her feelings accurately reflected what happened is silly, because she could never do so.

She saw a big group of women from her kids' school, including a few people she considers close friends, and she felt excluded. The end. There is no point in litigating that. If you want to say "I think you probably misinterpreted this situation and are overreacting" that's fine. But demanding evidence to prove that her perception of the situation is correct? It's hostile and misguided. I hate it when people do this in threads because it just bogs them down in "I don't believe OP, OP is a sociopath, OP is a troll" and nothing fruitful is discussed. If you don't believe an OP, just... don't respond to the thread. It's that easy.

Um, yes, people provide "evidence" of things on here all the time. It's called giving people the facts. It wouldn't have taken that long for OP to do that. She spent the time posting emojis, using all bold type, and hitting at least one additional button for all the punctuation she used. Explaining what exactly had happened would have taken less time.

Everyone who said OP was misinterpreting the situation and overreacted was called names. So that's how that worked out.

+1

She asserts that the others “felt awkward” but how the heck does she know how others are feeling?

If she said shared that she went over to say hi and they ignored her or were short with her or gave her a nasty look and walked away she’d have a point. But why not share if that is what happened vs a vague assertion that she knows what is in the mind of other people. I think she was projecting her feelings onto them most likely.

The number of you who seem to think this is a court of law and you've been asked to come and assess the validity of OP's feelings is amazing.

I tend to believe that OP was excluded in some way and the other women looked awkward, specifically because she didn't provide an airtight story with perfect facts that would prove to you once and for all that this women definitely excluded her. Her story rings true to me because she's not trying to present it in this perfect way that will satisfy a bunch of people who are determined to say she had no right to feel the way she did.

Does that mean the other women are terrible? No! I've been in the group that left someone out before. I am not a terrible person and in most cases I either didn't know someone had been left out or I felt there was a good reason for doing it. But also -- I bet it didn't feel good for those women.

You can believe OP that it was awkward and that she felt bad without needing to call in the National Guard to investigate exactly what happened here.

Some of us are reading her post and saying based on the lack of supportive facts (even with some tweaks for privacy reasons) and that it is full of subjective statements, we do not have reason to fully believe her objective experience.

Some people are reading her post and inferring facts (likely from their own personal experiences as we are all prone to do) and saying she likely interpreted the situation reasonably as a rejection.

I fall in the former camp. You fall in the latter. Such is the discussion. Just because I can in theory believe OP doesn’t mean I do or that I’m wrong for not thinking her take is accurate based on what has been shared.

But that discussion is pointless. "I believe her." "Well I don't." We can't prove it either way so that's the end of that.

The reason you have to take OP at face value to have a productive conversation is that it's the only way to get to the underlying issue, which is more interesting than debating an unknowable fact like whether these women did in fact look awkward upon seeing OP.

You can't have a productive conversation from a faulty premise.

Then why are you here? Some people don't find the premise faulty and are wiling to discuss it.

It seems like you are here to stop others from having a conversation they want to have, which is a weird waste of everyone's time, including yours.

Did it ever occur to you to just start a s/o topic if this one has been so dissatisfying? It's not like there's a limit. But trying to control everyone is bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was sharing her experience and how it made her feel. She wasn’t asking for your analysis of the situation but looking to see if others have had similar experiences. Some of you are so self absorbed and didn’t even read, understand, or care to, what the poster was looking to discuss. So why engage? To show anonymously your viscous selves and then smile to women you don’t like tomorrow at school pick up?

OP was asking for nasty, judgmental stories about women that people barely know so she could laugh at them and call them names. So sorry most people didn't comply.

Or she was asking for points of comparison so she can understand if she is the only one experiencing being excluded. But go on, continue to misunderstand and hate. That will surely be something your kids pick up from you.

+1

Running into several school mom acquaintances during the day, while on a work event planning meeting, is not “being excluded”

It might be and it might not. It really depends on the circumstances.

The real problem on this thread is that people on both sides are making assumptions about OPs situation that may or may not be true and then laying down a firm edict like yours above that allows for no other possibility.

My guess is that most moms on this thread are not horrible people who purposefully exclude in real life. And many of us have been on both sides of this scenario. But for some reason on this thread, people are coming down hard and being quite belligerent. it's bizarre really.

OP provided zero evidence that these women purposefully excluded her. None. If it had been there, don't you think she would have included it in her posts?

This is not court, you aren't a prosecutor. No one ever provides "evidence" of any interpersonal reaction on this website, it's anonymous and who has the time.

OP *felt* excluded. That's the subject of the thread. Sure, she might have misinterpreted the situation, always possible. But the idea that it's her job to prove to you that her feelings accurately reflected what happened is silly, because she could never do so.

She saw a big group of women from her kids' school, including a few people she considers close friends, and she felt excluded. The end. There is no point in litigating that. If you want to say "I think you probably misinterpreted this situation and are overreacting" that's fine. But demanding evidence to prove that her perception of the situation is correct? It's hostile and misguided. I hate it when people do this in threads because it just bogs them down in "I don't believe OP, OP is a sociopath, OP is a troll" and nothing fruitful is discussed. If you don't believe an OP, just... don't respond to the thread. It's that easy.

Um, yes, people provide "evidence" of things on here all the time. It's called giving people the facts. It wouldn't have taken that long for OP to do that. She spent the time posting emojis, using all bold type, and hitting at least one additional button for all the punctuation she used. Explaining what exactly had happened would have taken less time.

Everyone who said OP was misinterpreting the situation and overreacted was called names. So that's how that worked out.

+1

She asserts that the others “felt awkward” but how the heck does she know how others are feeling?

If she said shared that she went over to say hi and they ignored her or were short with her or gave her a nasty look and walked away she’d have a point. But why not share if that is what happened vs a vague assertion that she knows what is in the mind of other people. I think she was projecting her feelings onto them most likely.

The number of you who seem to think this is a court of law and you've been asked to come and assess the validity of OP's feelings is amazing.

I tend to believe that OP was excluded in some way and the other women looked awkward, specifically because she didn't provide an airtight story with perfect facts that would prove to you once and for all that this women definitely excluded her. Her story rings true to me because she's not trying to present it in this perfect way that will satisfy a bunch of people who are determined to say she had no right to feel the way she did.

Does that mean the other women are terrible? No! I've been in the group that left someone out before. I am not a terrible person and in most cases I either didn't know someone had been left out or I felt there was a good reason for doing it. But also -- I bet it didn't feel good for those women.

You can believe OP that it was awkward and that she felt bad without needing to call in the National Guard to investigate exactly what happened here.

Okay well just like you believe OP’s story rings true, I do not believe her based on the lack of supportive facts and overreactive text message (nearly everyone agrees on the latter part). My personal take is that someone who sends that type of message is an over-reactor based on subjective feelings and not a reliable narrator of objective facts.

We’ll just have to disagree. Such is the nature of discussion boards. Because I have a different take doesn’t mean I’m treating it like a court of law. I’m just interpreting the same post in a different way as are many others.

I agree with you that it's fine if we disagree. I don't have a problem with that.

What I think is weird is people saying "show me the evidence! I want evidence!" What? You either identify/believe OP or you don't. If you don't, I don't even understand why you'd hang around on the thread.

There is zero point in arguing over what "really" happened because we'll never know. So you can either engage with it at face value (okay, assuming this is what happened, here's my take) or you can decide it's bunk and move on.

+100 and THANK YOU.

Whenever someone tries to just take the OP at face value and say "oh yeah, I've experienced that" or even "I can see why that was awkward" or whatever, a bunch of posters are like "We don't even know this happened! OP probably didn't even know them! They didn't feel awkward how would OP know that! OP just posted this to make fun of women who hang out with friends!" Like.... Okay, maybe. But we'll never know. So can we just talk about cliques or experiences feeling excluded from mom groups as though it is true, since otherwise there's no point to the thread?

I often encounter threads or posters where I just think "no, this person is lying." But I don't engage in extensive back and forth over it because it's pointless. People can say whatever they want in here. If it doesn't pass the smell test, the best thing to do is ignore.

Those of you who don't believe OP turned something that probably should have been a 3-4 page thread into a 50 page thread. For nothing.

+200

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all the women who wonder if you are in a clique or if you just happen to have a group of friends who get together, often casually and spontaneously, because you are all on the same PTA committee, your kids are on the same sports team or activity, you live in the same neighborhood and chat at the bus stop or on the walk to school.

If you are at a winery celebrating Larla’s birthday / a successful PTA auction / the end of basketball season or planning Teacher Appreciation week / organizing camp car pools and a woman whose children goes to the same school as most of the people in the group walks in to meet with the manager or buy a gift card . . .
You are a clique if you all look away or whisper to each other and generally look like you really hope she doesn’t wave or stop by to say hello.

You aren’t a clique if you wave to her and when she comes over you say “Hello! We’re all (insert reason for the gathering). Do you have time to join us?”

Sharing the reason is key. If OP knew why they were gathered, she would know if it was a group that purposely excluded her or if it happens that they all have a connection that doesn’t include OP.

I try to get groups of moms together in my backyard for wine on a regular basis. When I send out the invite I clearly state how I defined the group so it’s not a mystery. “4th Grade Moms” “Cub Scout Moms” “Longfellow Street Moms”. It’s not a clique because if I invite the people I know well enough to text, but if a 4th grade mom says “can I bring my neighbor Suzy who is also a 4th grade mom?” I say “Of Course!” and then I make introductions when she comes and add her to the list for next time.

OP here--I assure you this "You aren’t a clique if you wave to her and when she comes over you say “Hello! We’re all (insert reason for the gathering). Do you have time to join us?” didn't happen....just lots of uncomfortable looks given to me.

To the other posters, I have friends from different walks of life and most of them are not from my kids' elementary school. There are a quite few moms from the school I am friendly with...and ,yes, they show up for the events I am hosting if invited and available. I also invite all of the children from my kids' classes to their Birthday parties through the school and parent contact list, but I am not upset if some of them don't show up. People have plans, so totally ok. Some parents do not, they really like to control the narrative and some kids are always excluded (one special needs boy in particular), which is sad.

As far as for the Monday bus stop interactions (per everyone request), one kid stopped riding the bus this week (his mom drives him to school every day)...which is unusual. I have not seen the other mom, as we have two stops in our neighborhood. Might see her this week, if bus is running late and I need to get my kids earlier to get them somewhere.

I was just really surprised by bashing instead of sharing stories. I did enjoy reading stories shared by other moms.

NP. I have made it through all 48 pages. Phew!
But back to OP's last update. OP - Are you trying to tell us that you think that the mom who is driving this week is avoiding you? Is she the one you texted? Have you tried to smooth things over with her for your ill-considered text?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was sharing her experience and how it made her feel. She wasn’t asking for your analysis of the situation but looking to see if others have had similar experiences. Some of you are so self absorbed and didn’t even read, understand, or care to, what the poster was looking to discuss. So why engage? To show anonymously your viscous selves and then smile to women you don’t like tomorrow at school pick up?

OP was asking for nasty, judgmental stories about women that people barely know so she could laugh at them and call them names. So sorry most people didn't comply.

Or she was asking for points of comparison so she can understand if she is the only one experiencing being excluded. But go on, continue to misunderstand and hate. That will surely be something your kids pick up from you.

It's clearly you who misunderstands and hates. Look in the mirror.

OMG do you guys read what you are writing before you hit send?

OMG yes quit trying to shame people for doing what you're doing. It's ridiculous.

The "misunderstands" is fine, but the "hates". Really?

Call it "shame" if you want, but sometimes people need to be called out to take a moment and think about it.

Look who said "hate" first.

What is your point? The post was aimed at both "hates" PPs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get how an adult woman could care if a group of mere acquaintances didn’t invite her to something.

All the ladies at my yoga studio get together all of the time. I’ve only been invited once or twice and couldn’t make it. I’ve run into them out and about for lunch/drinks and jimmy crack corn I don’t care. What’s it to me? Is it a clique? Nope, it’s just a group of women who like to hang out with each other. They’re not doing it at my expense.

Besides, I’m too busy to care. Now, if my friends got together and didn’t include me, that would hurt. But mommies on a bus stop? I really, really could not care less.

Don’t you have other stuff to do, OP?

There are a number of posters here, including you, who are making the (bizarre) assumption that the OP and anyone who has said anything supportive of her is saying that everyone must be invited to everything. I doubt anyone believes that (there may be troll PPs saying such things to stir up trouble). It's more about talking about feelings of awkwardness or exclusion that can happen. That's it. Talking about awkward situations does not translate to saying people expect to be invited to everything. I can't understand how your mind would even go to that to the point you need to write angry-sounding posts that insult the OP and other PPs. What is wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get how an adult woman could care if a group of mere acquaintances didn’t invite her to something.

All the ladies at my yoga studio get together all of the time. I’ve only been invited once or twice and couldn’t make it. I’ve run into them out and about for lunch/drinks and jimmy crack corn I don’t care. What’s it to me? Is it a clique? Nope, it’s just a group of women who like to hang out with each other. They’re not doing it at my expense.

Besides, I’m too busy to care. Now, if my friends got together and didn’t include me, that would hurt. But mommies on a bus stop? I really, really could not care less.

Don’t you have other stuff to do, OP?

There are a number of posters here, including you, who are making the (bizarre) assumption that the OP and anyone who has said anything supportive of her is saying that everyone must be invited to everything. I doubt anyone believes that (there may be troll PPs saying such things to stir up trouble). It's more about talking about feelings of awkwardness or exclusion that can happen. That's it. Talking about awkward situations does not translate to saying people expect to be invited to everything. I can't understand how your mind would even go to that to the point you need to write angry-sounding posts that insult the OP and other PPs. What is wrong with you?

DP, I think one of the issues is that OP’s posts are not nearly as reflective as the posters supporting her. Have you noticed that she has posted many times and has never acknowledged that she was hurt? She keeps coming back seeking/thanking those who post stories on cliques. If she had led with her hurt and desire to be included, this thread would not have taken off like it did.

[Anonymous]

No. This is a thing. At parent pickup a bunch of parents in front of me talked about how they all went out that Friday night. They clearly knew I had not been invited but thought it was good conversation to have with me and two other parents who were not there. It also got into two parents talking about how they think they have alcohol issues… I just listened and then went to grab my child and head home. These same parents have no problem asking me for help- picking up their child, dropping something off, voting for something, etc.

The one who was the most obnoxious was a dad actually who brags about their beach house and sailing camp for his (physically and verbally abusive kid he likes to push kids and ride over their arms with his bike…and is mean to other kids).

Find your people OP. It is okay to feel hurt, that is human. I don’t drink in the middle of the day so this event wouldn’t be my thing.

You don’t always have to be invited to everything but if they saw you it would have been nice of them to say, “hey Sam, so great to see you. After your meeting stop by our table and have a glass of wine with us! We are planning to be here until x time.”
They don’t have to do that but it would have been the kind thing to do.

Parent cliques are real and people on here who don’t see an issue with it might be the ones being cliquey.

[Anonymous]

Well, there was this one time when I attended a school event, and I found myself unintentionally caught in the middle of a heated debate between two mom cliques about the best way to fundraise for the school. It was like stepping into a lion's den! I tried to make a joke to lighten the mood, but let's just say it didn't exactly diffuse the tension. Ended up sneaking out of there pretty quickly!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was sharing her experience and how it made her feel. She wasn’t asking for your analysis of the situation but looking to see if others have had similar experiences. Some of you are so self absorbed and didn’t even read, understand, or care to, what the poster was looking to discuss. So why engage? To show anonymously your viscous selves and then smile to women you don’t like tomorrow at school pick up?

OP was asking for nasty, judgmental stories about women that people barely know so she could laugh at them and call them names. So sorry most people didn't comply.

Or she was asking for points of comparison so she can understand if she is the only one experiencing being excluded. But go on, continue to misunderstand and hate. That will surely be something your kids pick up from you.

It's clearly you who misunderstands and hates. Look in the mirror.

OMG do you guys read what you are writing before you hit send?

OMG yes quit trying to shame people for doing what you're doing. It's ridiculous.

The "misunderstands" is fine, but the "hates". Really?

Call it "shame" if you want, but sometimes people need to be called out to take a moment and think about it.

Sorry the post trying to get women to hate on other women was a flop. OP was rightfully called out in it.

I don't think this thread was about hating on other women, it was about sharing experiences with feeling excluded from a group.

The amount of hate direct at OP on this thread was a multitude more than the frankly minor judgment she issued about these women she knows getting together without her.

OP said "Share your favorite mom clique story DCUM."

You don't think that had a negative connotation? She didn't say, "has anyone else been hurt by a situation like this" or a million other things that wouldn't have come across as nasty?

OMG, WHO CARES. OP didn't use the precise wording you would have used? You didn't like her emoji? She was flippant when you think this is a very serious conversation? Again, who cares?

I personally do not think "share your favorite mom clique story" is nasty or even that negative. I think it's trying to make light of a situation that is common (feeling left out of a group of women, whatever the reason) to make it more manageable. I actually think it's a healthy attitude to have about what OP experienced, because it's like "oh yeah, sometimes friend groups between women can be a bit insular and it feels bad to be left out, but also I bet I'm not the first or last person to feel this way, let's share stories and that will probably take the sting out a bit."

It's not like she came on her with a list of names to announce that XYZ women in Loudon County are jerks. She was just processing her own hurt in what I think is a reasonable way.

I still don't understand why this made some of you SO angry with her. The response was insane. Even if you think the thread is dumb or think she overreacted, I just can't imagine spending 40 pages determined to rip her to shreds for it. What is the point?

I think people are just arguing with each other. There is one prolific watch dog poster who is incensed that anyone interpreted the snarky OP differently than she did and she's been posting about it for about 40 pages. If you actually read what's being posted its mostly a conversation between other posters, not about OP. If people could just accept people have different takes instead of telling them how to think or that there is only one correct way this would be a lot shorter. We get it some of you relate to being excluded, but other people are put off by OP's language and responded accordingly and don't want to play her game.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was sharing her experience and how it made her feel. She wasn’t asking for your analysis of the situation but looking to see if others have had similar experiences. Some of you are so self absorbed and didn’t even read, understand, or care to, what the poster was looking to discuss. So why engage? To show anonymously your viscous selves and then smile to women you don’t like tomorrow at school pick up?

OP was asking for nasty, judgmental stories about women that people barely know so she could laugh at them and call them names. So sorry most people didn't comply.

Or she was asking for points of comparison so she can understand if she is the only one experiencing being excluded. But go on, continue to misunderstand and hate. That will surely be something your kids pick up from you.

+1

Running into several school mom acquaintances during the day, while on a work event planning meeting, is not “being excluded”

It might be and it might not. It really depends on the circumstances.

The real problem on this thread is that people on both sides are making assumptions about OPs situation that may or may not be true and then laying down a firm edict like yours above that allows for no other possibility.

My guess is that most moms on this thread are not horrible people who purposefully exclude in real life. And many of us have been on both sides of this scenario. But for some reason on this thread, people are coming down hard and being quite belligerent. it's bizarre really.

OP provided zero evidence that these women purposefully excluded her. None. If it had been there, don't you think she would have included it in her posts?

This is not court, you aren't a prosecutor. No one ever provides "evidence" of any interpersonal reaction on this website, it's anonymous and who has the time.

OP *felt* excluded. That's the subject of the thread. Sure, she might have misinterpreted the situation, always possible. But the idea that it's her job to prove to you that her feelings accurately reflected what happened is silly, because she could never do so.

She saw a big group of women from her kids' school, including a few people she considers close friends, and she felt excluded. The end. There is no point in litigating that. If you want to say "I think you probably misinterpreted this situation and are overreacting" that's fine. But demanding evidence to prove that her perception of the situation is correct? It's hostile and misguided. I hate it when people do this in threads because it just bogs them down in "I don't believe OP, OP is a sociopath, OP is a troll" and nothing fruitful is discussed. If you don't believe an OP, just... don't respond to the thread. It's that easy.

Um, yes, people provide "evidence" of things on here all the time. It's called giving people the facts. It wouldn't have taken that long for OP to do that. She spent the time posting emojis, using all bold type, and hitting at least one additional button for all the punctuation she used. Explaining what exactly had happened would have taken less time.

Everyone who said OP was misinterpreting the situation and overreacted was called names. So that's how that worked out.

+1

She asserts that the others “felt awkward” but how the heck does she know how others are feeling?

If she said shared that she went over to say hi and they ignored her or were short with her or gave her a nasty look and walked away she’d have a point. But why not share if that is what happened vs a vague assertion that she knows what is in the mind of other people. I think she was projecting her feelings onto them most likely.

The number of you who seem to think this is a court of law and you've been asked to come and assess the validity of OP's feelings is amazing.

I tend to believe that OP was excluded in some way and the other women looked awkward, specifically because she didn't provide an airtight story with perfect facts that would prove to you once and for all that this women definitely excluded her. Her story rings true to me because she's not trying to present it in this perfect way that will satisfy a bunch of people who are determined to say she had no right to feel the way she did.

Does that mean the other women are terrible? No! I've been in the group that left someone out before. I am not a terrible person and in most cases I either didn't know someone had been left out or I felt there was a good reason for doing it. But also -- I bet it didn't feel good for those women.

You can believe OP that it was awkward and that she felt bad without needing to call in the National Guard to investigate exactly what happened here.

Okay well just like you believe OP’s story rings true, I do not believe her based on the lack of supportive facts and overreactive text message (nearly everyone agrees on the latter part). My personal take is that someone who sends that type of message is an over-reactor based on subjective feelings and not a reliable narrator of objective facts.

We’ll just have to disagree. Such is the nature of discussion boards. Because I have a different take doesn’t mean I’m treating it like a court of law. I’m just interpreting the same post in a different way as are many others.

This plus the nasty follow up post for people to pay attention to the direction in the OP. You can infer what you want from that, but ignoring it to suit your own version of events is ridiculous.*

*Not a legal standard

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was sharing her experience and how it made her feel. She wasn’t asking for your analysis of the situation but looking to see if others have had similar experiences. Some of you are so self absorbed and didn’t even read, understand, or care to, what the poster was looking to discuss. So why engage? To show anonymously your viscous selves and then smile to women you don’t like tomorrow at school pick up?

OP was asking for nasty, judgmental stories about women that people barely know so she could laugh at them and call them names. So sorry most people didn't comply.

Or she was asking for points of comparison so she can understand if she is the only one experiencing being excluded. But go on, continue to misunderstand and hate. That will surely be something your kids pick up from you.

+1

Running into several school mom acquaintances during the day, while on a work event planning meeting, is not “being excluded”

It might be and it might not. It really depends on the circumstances.

The real problem on this thread is that people on both sides are making assumptions about OPs situation that may or may not be true and then laying down a firm edict like yours above that allows for no other possibility.

My guess is that most moms on this thread are not horrible people who purposefully exclude in real life. And many of us have been on both sides of this scenario. But for some reason on this thread, people are coming down hard and being quite belligerent. it's bizarre really.

OP provided zero evidence that these women purposefully excluded her. None. If it had been there, don't you think she would have included it in her posts?

This is not court, you aren't a prosecutor. No one ever provides "evidence" of any interpersonal reaction on this website, it's anonymous and who has the time.

OP *felt* excluded. That's the subject of the thread. Sure, she might have misinterpreted the situation, always possible. But the idea that it's her job to prove to you that her feelings accurately reflected what happened is silly, because she could never do so.

She saw a big group of women from her kids' school, including a few people she considers close friends, and she felt excluded. The end. There is no point in litigating that. If you want to say "I think you probably misinterpreted this situation and are overreacting" that's fine. But demanding evidence to prove that her perception of the situation is correct? It's hostile and misguided. I hate it when people do this in threads because it just bogs them down in "I don't believe OP, OP is a sociopath, OP is a troll" and nothing fruitful is discussed. If you don't believe an OP, just... don't respond to the thread. It's that easy.

Um, yes, people provide "evidence" of things on here all the time. It's called giving people the facts. It wouldn't have taken that long for OP to do that. She spent the time posting emojis, using all bold type, and hitting at least one additional button for all the punctuation she used. Explaining what exactly had happened would have taken less time.

Everyone who said OP was misinterpreting the situation and overreacted was called names. So that's how that worked out.

+1

She asserts that the others “felt awkward” but how the heck does she know how others are feeling?

If she said shared that she went over to say hi and they ignored her or were short with her or gave her a nasty look and walked away she’d have a point. But why not share if that is what happened vs a vague assertion that she knows what is in the mind of other people. I think she was projecting her feelings onto them most likely.

The number of you who seem to think this is a court of law and you've been asked to come and assess the validity of OP's feelings is amazing.

I tend to believe that OP was excluded in some way and the other women looked awkward, specifically because she didn't provide an airtight story with perfect facts that would prove to you once and for all that this women definitely excluded her. Her story rings true to me because she's not trying to present it in this perfect way that will satisfy a bunch of people who are determined to say she had no right to feel the way she did.

Does that mean the other women are terrible? No! I've been in the group that left someone out before. I am not a terrible person and in most cases I either didn't know someone had been left out or I felt there was a good reason for doing it. But also -- I bet it didn't feel good for those women.

You can believe OP that it was awkward and that she felt bad without needing to call in the National Guard to investigate exactly what happened here.

Okay well just like you believe OP’s story rings true, I do not believe her based on the lack of supportive facts and overreactive text message (nearly everyone agrees on the latter part). My personal take is that someone who sends that type of message is an over-reactor based on subjective feelings and not a reliable narrator of objective facts.

We’ll just have to disagree. Such is the nature of discussion boards. Because I have a different take doesn’t mean I’m treating it like a court of law. I’m just interpreting the same post in a different way as are many others.

I agree with you that it's fine if we disagree. I don't have a problem with that.

What I think is weird is people saying "show me the evidence! I want evidence!" What? You either identify/believe OP or you don't. If you don't, I don't even understand why you'd hang around on the thread.

There is zero point in arguing over what "really" happened because we'll never know. So you can either engage with it at face value (okay, assuming this is what happened, here's my take) or you can decide it's bunk and move on.

People are making assumptions. One of them being that these 15 women purposefully excluded OP. If that had been the case, then likely OP would have stated it. But if not, that's fine. Either way, someone saying that these women purposefully excluding OP when OP never said that mean that they're making stuff up to make their point. Some people question it when that happens. It's really that simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was sharing her experience and how it made her feel. She wasn’t asking for your analysis of the situation but looking to see if others have had similar experiences. Some of you are so self absorbed and didn’t even read, understand, or care to, what the poster was looking to discuss. So why engage? To show anonymously your viscous selves and then smile to women you don’t like tomorrow at school pick up?

OP was asking for nasty, judgmental stories about women that people barely know so she could laugh at them and call them names. So sorry most people didn't comply.

Or she was asking for points of comparison so she can understand if she is the only one experiencing being excluded. But go on, continue to misunderstand and hate. That will surely be something your kids pick up from you.

+1

Running into several school mom acquaintances during the day, while on a work event planning meeting, is not “being excluded”

It might be and it might not. It really depends on the circumstances.

The real problem on this thread is that people on both sides are making assumptions about OPs situation that may or may not be true and then laying down a firm edict like yours above that allows for no other possibility.

My guess is that most moms on this thread are not horrible people who purposefully exclude in real life. And many of us have been on both sides of this scenario. But for some reason on this thread, people are coming down hard and being quite belligerent. it's bizarre really.

OP provided zero evidence that these women purposefully excluded her. None. If it had been there, don't you think she would have included it in her posts?

This is not court, you aren't a prosecutor. No one ever provides "evidence" of any interpersonal reaction on this website, it's anonymous and who has the time.

OP *felt* excluded. That's the subject of the thread. Sure, she might have misinterpreted the situation, always possible. But the idea that it's her job to prove to you that her feelings accurately reflected what happened is silly, because she could never do so.

She saw a big group of women from her kids' school, including a few people she considers close friends, and she felt excluded. The end. There is no point in litigating that. If you want to say "I think you probably misinterpreted this situation and are overreacting" that's fine. But demanding evidence to prove that her perception of the situation is correct? It's hostile and misguided. I hate it when people do this in threads because it just bogs them down in "I don't believe OP, OP is a sociopath, OP is a troll" and nothing fruitful is discussed. If you don't believe an OP, just... don't respond to the thread. It's that easy.

Um, yes, people provide "evidence" of things on here all the time. It's called giving people the facts. It wouldn't have taken that long for OP to do that. She spent the time posting emojis, using all bold type, and hitting at least one additional button for all the punctuation she used. Explaining what exactly had happened would have taken less time.

Everyone who said OP was misinterpreting the situation and overreacted was called names. So that's how that worked out.

+1

She asserts that the others “felt awkward” but how the heck does she know how others are feeling?

If she said shared that she went over to say hi and they ignored her or were short with her or gave her a nasty look and walked away she’d have a point. But why not share if that is what happened vs a vague assertion that she knows what is in the mind of other people. I think she was projecting her feelings onto them most likely.

The number of you who seem to think this is a court of law and you've been asked to come and assess the validity of OP's feelings is amazing.

I tend to believe that OP was excluded in some way and the other women looked awkward, specifically because she didn't provide an airtight story with perfect facts that would prove to you once and for all that this women definitely excluded her. Her story rings true to me because she's not trying to present it in this perfect way that will satisfy a bunch of people who are determined to say she had no right to feel the way she did.

Does that mean the other women are terrible? No! I've been in the group that left someone out before. I am not a terrible person and in most cases I either didn't know someone had been left out or I felt there was a good reason for doing it. But also -- I bet it didn't feel good for those women.

You can believe OP that it was awkward and that she felt bad without needing to call in the National Guard to investigate exactly what happened here.

Okay well just like you believe OP’s story rings true, I do not believe her based on the lack of supportive facts and overreactive text message (nearly everyone agrees on the latter part). My personal take is that someone who sends that type of message is an over-reactor based on subjective feelings and not a reliable narrator of objective facts.

We’ll just have to disagree. Such is the nature of discussion boards. Because I have a different take doesn’t mean I’m treating it like a court of law. I’m just interpreting the same post in a different way as are many others.

I agree with you that it's fine if we disagree. I don't have a problem with that.

What I think is weird is people saying "show me the evidence! I want evidence!" What? You either identify/believe OP or you don't. If you don't, I don't even understand why you'd hang around on the thread.

There is zero point in arguing over what "really" happened because we'll never know. So you can either engage with it at face value (okay, assuming this is what happened, here's my take) or you can decide it's bunk and move on.

+100 and THANK YOU.

Whenever someone tries to just take the OP at face value and say "oh yeah, I've experienced that" or even "I can see why that was awkward" or whatever, a bunch of posters are like " We don't even know this happened! OP probably didn't even know them! They didn't feel awkward how would OP know that! OP just posted this to make fun of women who hang out with friends!" Like.... Okay, maybe. But we'll never know. So can we just talk about cliques or experiences feeling excluded from mom groups as though it is true, since otherwise there's no point to the thread?

I often encounter threads or posters where I just think "no, this person is lying." But I don't engage in extensive back and forth over it because it's pointless. People can say whatever they want in here. If it doesn't pass the smell test, the best thing to do is ignore.

Those of you who don't believe OP turned something that probably should have been a 3-4 page thread into a 50 page thread. For nothing.

Read the thread to which you're replying, that ought to help you sort things out.