Are east coast/DC/NYC guys just less "manly"??

[Anonymous]

By no means am I suggesting that a guy needs to be benching his body weight; or watching 8 hrs of football per weekend; or be spitting and scratching his crotch to be a real man. But having only lived on the east coast for 2 years, I am kind of shocked by how un-manly well educated white collar professional guys are in DC and NYC. Seems like everyone's hobby is watching the news (politics in DC; CNBC in NYC). They seem incapable of fixing anything - whether it's a closet door that's off its hinge or a flat tire - they are willing to call a handy man or mechanic and are ok with that guy thinking they have no idea what to do. And they seem kind of gossipy/critical about how others are living their lives. Just seems odd to me that a guy would be ok spending his weekend reading a book and criticizing how some other dude is choosing to rent a home rather than buy. I just feel like guys back home -- including drs/lawyers/med/law students were more into sports, working out, home renovation, cars etc. Is this a DC/NYC thing? I've seen it in guys I've casually dated, guys at work etc. -- all ages 25-35.

[Anonymous]

If you think that's bad, don't ever move to the West Coast. Manliest guy I knew was gay - he could fix anything. Everyone else was useless.

[Anonymous]

Too much estrogen in water supply.

[Anonymous]

Stop forcing gender roles onto men. The 1950 called and want you back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:By no means am I suggesting that a guy needs to be benching his body weight; or watching 8 hrs of football per weekend; or be spitting and scratching his crotch to be a real man. But having only lived on the east coast for 2 years, I am kind of shocked by how un-manly well educated white collar professional guys are in DC and NYC. Seems like everyone's hobby is watching the news (politics in DC; CNBC in NYC). They seem incapable of fixing anything - whether it's a closet door that's off its hinge or a flat tire - they are willing to call a handy man or mechanic and are ok with that guy thinking they have no idea what to do. And they seem kind of gossipy/critical about how others are living their lives. Just seems odd to me that a guy would be ok spending his weekend reading a book and criticizing how some other dude is choosing to rent a home rather than buy. I just feel like guys back home -- including drs/lawyers/med/law students were more into sports, working out, home renovation, cars etc. Is this a DC/NYC thing? I've seen it in guys I've casually dated, guys at work etc. -- all ages 25-35.

Some of this uselessness comes from how they were raised, no? I mean they don't know how to do because no one taught them.

[Anonymous]

Where is "back home", OP?

[Anonymous]

I think yes. I'm from Charlotte. I moved to NYC post law school and was shocked that almost no one watched college football. The manliest guys would at least go to a Yankees or Mets game and a Rangers game once a yr -- but by no means was that all guys. And because they had money, they "looked down" on people who would do anything on their own - including building their own Ikea furniture - because they were thinking -- I don't have to, I'll pay them to do it for me, that guy must be building his own because he doesn't have an extra $100 to pay the service.

Returned to Charlotte within 5 years and met plenty of bankers and lawyers who were obsessed with UNC basketball, were always doing projects in their homes (that they could certainly afford to outsource), and if they weren't doing those things -- they were at least hitting up the gym, biking, running etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you think that's bad, don't ever move to the West Coast. Manliest guy I knew was gay - he could fix anything. Everyone else was useless.

Hahahah. So true though. Lived in LA for a few months. Went on 1 date. Dude had prettier hair than I did and spent a good portion of the date talking about his hair care routine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think yes. I'm from Charlotte. I moved to NYC post law school and was shocked that almost no one watched college football. The manliest guys would at least go to a Yankees or Mets game and a Rangers game once a yr -- but by no means was that all guys. And because they had money, they "looked down" on people who would do anything on their own - including building their own Ikea furniture - because they were thinking -- I don't have to, I'll pay them to do it for me, that guy must be building his own because he doesn't have an extra $100 to pay the service.

Returned to Charlotte within 5 years and met plenty of bankers and lawyers who were obsessed with UNC basketball, were always doing projects in their homes (that they could certainly afford to outsource), and if they weren't doing those things -- they were at least hitting up the gym, biking, running etc.

I'm from Charlotte, too, but still here in DC. My XH and now SO are "manly men" who don't watch sports, but play them. And they can and will fix stuff. They also read books and follow current events and politics. I love it. Best of all worlds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop forcing gender roles onto men. The 1950 called and want you back.

To each their own. I and OP want the man to be the man in the relationship. I don't want him crying over a chick flick and sitting around gossiping about friends and commenting on the spice combinations in a dish -- I have girlfriends for that.

[Anonymous]

I think your perspective is skewed by class. There are plenty of men in my working class family back home who aren't manly in the way we're talking about. However, their interests are video games and anime and comic books, not politics.

[Anonymous]

Ugh. Such small mindedness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By no means am I suggesting that a guy needs to be benching his body weight; or watching 8 hrs of football per weekend; or be spitting and scratching his crotch to be a real man. But having only lived on the east coast for 2 years, I am kind of shocked by how un-manly well educated white collar professional guys are in DC and NYC. Seems like everyone's hobby is watching the news (politics in DC; CNBC in NYC). They seem incapable of fixing anything - whether it's a closet door that's off its hinge or a flat tire - they are willing to call a handy man or mechanic and are ok with that guy thinking they have no idea what to do. And they seem kind of gossipy/critical about how others are living their lives. Just seems odd to me that a guy would be ok spending his weekend reading a book and criticizing how some other dude is choosing to rent a home rather than buy. I just feel like guys back home -- including drs/lawyers/med/law students were more into sports, working out, home renovation, cars etc. Is this a DC/NYC thing? I've seen it in guys I've casually dated, guys at work etc. -- all ages 25-35.

Some of this uselessness comes from how they were raised, no? I mean they don't know how to do because no one taught them.

This. A lot of guys I know (mostly North Jersey/NYC/Long Island guys) were raised this way. This is what their dads were like when they were home -- talking markets/investments, news, gossiping about others' wealth and professional success. And the dads weren't home all that much because they were investment banking MDs or biglaw or hedge fund partners out making the money for the family to afford the huge home in the expensive area. So when it came to things like home improvement or cars or whatever, they threw money at the problem and outsourced. That's what the sons saw, so that's what they started doing the moment they got their first biglaw or banking job at 25. Fast forward 10 years, you have guys who have no idea how to take care of those things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. Such small mindedness.

People can have preferences. A woman can prefer a manly man. Just like some men can prefer good looking trophy wives who don't want to work, while others want wives in mommy jobs, while others want wives who pursue a high power job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop forcing gender roles onto men. The 1950 called and want you back.

To each their own. I and OP want the man to be the man in the relationship. I don't want him crying over a chick flick and sitting around gossiping about friends and commenting on the spice combinations in a dish -- I have girlfriends for that.

19:20 here. My SO will talk about the spice combinations in a dish, as he likely cooked it. He also drives a pickup truck and is renovating his house slowly on his own. Again, best of all worlds.