Hosts who want guests to supply the main parts of the meal

[Anonymous]

We were invited to a holiday brunch party, and the online invitation asked for people to list the dish they would bring once they RSVP’d yes. The party is next weekend and I guess very few people added a dish to the list so now the host is sending out updates and suggesting dishes for people to bring. The host is only supplying dessert it seems, so they are asking for egg dishes, casseroles, fruit salad etc.

I’m all for pitching in for a casual barbecue or things like that, but I feel like if you are going to host a holiday party then you should expect to supply the food. If you want guests to bring something, ask people to bring a dessert or a drink or something where people can pick something up from the store on the way if they need to. . But to supply the main meal? Especially for a brunch where you have to get up early to cook and for things to still be hot after transportation.

It’s not like we’re struggling in our 20s. We’re all late 30s, early 40s professionals.

Why do I feel peeved about this? I know I’m free to RSVP no, but I won’t just on principle. I’ll just vent about it here .

Any easy suggestions for what to bring?

[Anonymous]

Say you'll bring the fruit salad, and grab it from the grocery store on the way over.

I do agree that it's strange to ask for the main dish, but if the initial invitation told you to list the dish you were bringing the host was always planning on a potluck and that's what everyone RSVP'ed yes to in the first place.

[Anonymous]

That is weird!

I would make a batch of mini muffins. One recipe (or box) makes a lot of muffins so it looks generous

[Anonymous]

It's a pot luck. Sometimes the host provides the main dish, sometimes other people provide that. If you don't want to make anything, it's easy to buy a fruit salad, quiche, or other dish at the store.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you have grounds for complaint as long as this request for main dishes is made very clear in the invitation. It's definitely not the standard of formal hosting, but among friends, it could be a fun and stress-free way to gather and party.

[Anonymous]

So just don't go. No big deal. Pot lucks aren't for me either.

[Anonymous]

Maybe they're providing all the drinks (meaning alcohol)?

I agree, it's weird.

Personally I hate potlucks, but I bring stuff if I'm invited/asked to.

[Anonymous]

I know a couple like that . They only provide appetizers. It's odd.

[Anonymous]

My niece has a MIL exactly like that. All she supplies is the ice. She asks other people to bring everything. There is nothing worse than a cheapskate.

[Anonymous]

I will sometimes bring an entree. If we are going to a pot-luck hosted by someone with different tastes than my family, I may bring an entree or something that is more filling to ensure my family has enough that they can eat. However, I would hate to be "assigned" an entree to bring. I personally think pot-lucks are fine, but the host should be supplying the entree. I hate these "BYOM" barbeques, where sides are provided, but everyone has to provide their own entrees. Inevitably, there are those who bring a package of hot dogs and then try to mooch off those who made nicer kabobs, or chicken or steaks.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't be cooking for this -- as you say, it was fine at 24, not so much at 35. Say you'll bring baked goods. Then on the way there, stop at a grocery store or Dunkin and pick up a few boxes of muffins/donuts etc.

[Anonymous]

We often do potlucks in our circle but the host always supplies mains and drinks. It seems odd to ask guests to bring entrees.

[Anonymous]

My sister just did this for Thanksgiving (turkey and all!) It was infuriating!

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister just did this for Thanksgiving (turkey and all!) It was infuriating!

Really?!? That's pretty bad. How did it turn out?