Number of women who cheat on their husbands had increased by 40%

[Anonymous]

This is one of the most interesting articles on infertility I've read . I was wondering how many DCUMers recognize themselves in this article ?


The changing reasons why women cheat on their husbands - CNN
https://apple.news/AO9JydUJNTGmVGevgnO6t6g

[Anonymous]

I agree OP (though I think you meant to say infidelity, not infertility!).

Anyway, I did see myself in the article. I won't cheat, though, I'm just not that kind of person. It's hard being the default parent/housekeeper and maintaining attraction to my husband, who is a good person and who I love. I do often think about leaving once the kids are up and out.

[Anonymous]

I thought the article would pull in infertility and infidelity and I was disappointed. Yes, I saw myself. Poster child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
This is one of the most interesting articles on infertility I've read . I was wondering how many DCUMers recognize themselves in this article ?


The changing reasons why women cheat on their husbands - CNN
https://apple.news/AO9JydUJNTGmVGevgnO6t6g

When my kids leave for college I am dumping my husband, I think he knows that is my plan. He is a great dad and a good husband, but I have convinced myself there is more out there for me.

[Anonymous]

Yes I am in this article. I am the breadwinner and felt unappreciated and lonely. Work travel presents opportunity. .... I won't say it saved my marriage (which is still intact) but it saved my sanity and brought me back to life

[Anonymous]

I want to have an affair because DH basically ignores me except on the rare occasions he feels like having sex, and I am stuck on my own with the kids during his constant work travel. However, I can't imagine how I'd actually do it. No one has expressed any interest in having an affair with me. I'm not overweight and try to dress nicely, but maybe I'm just too old? (43). How do people get these affairs started?

[Anonymous]

"But often," she went on, "it can feel like my husband and I are running a family corporation together and that our emotional intimacy consists of gossiping about our friends and watching Game of Thrones.

This is my marriage. I have not cheated, and neither has my husband as far as I know. But sometimes, you get caught up watching a romantic comedy and you wonder what happened to your relationship and you start to miss those butterflies. And like the article alludes to, maybe that's not realistic but it doesn't mean we don't still want it and may not seek it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to have an affair because DH basically ignores me except on the rare occasions he feels like having sex, and I am stuck on my own with the kids during his constant work travel. However, I can't imagine how I'd actually do it. No one has expressed any interest in having an affair with me. I'm not overweight and try to dress nicely, but maybe I'm just too old? (43). How do people get these affairs started?

You are not too old. Believe me.

Get flirty. Make friends with men. Be receptive. Express interest in them (touch them on the arm when you are talking). Don't shut it down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to have an affair because DH basically ignores me except on the rare occasions he feels like having sex, and I am stuck on my own with the kids during his constant work travel. However, I can't imagine how I'd actually do it. No one has expressed any interest in having an affair with me. I'm not overweight and try to dress nicely, but maybe I'm just too old? (43). How do people get these affairs started?

Just take care of business on your own. Much more satisfying and you don't have to deal with a needy man.

[Anonymous]

It's certainly easier with more women working outside the home and (even bigger) the prevalence of technology--cell phones (no using the house phone with its records), texting, and websites.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to have an affair because DH basically ignores me except on the rare occasions he feels like having sex, and I am stuck on my own with the kids during his constant work travel. However, I can't imagine how I'd actually do it. No one has expressed any interest in having an affair with me. I'm not overweight and try to dress nicely, but maybe I'm just too old? (43). How do people get these affairs started?

Trust me you are not too old. You just have to put yourself out there and flirt or be open and direct. I flat out told someone what I wanted - he was in a rut and wanted the same thing too.

[Anonymous]

"The inequality of it all is such an annoying factor that I am usually in a bad mood when my spouse is in my presence,"

I am miles away from an affair, but the discussion of the problem definitely resonates. I feel like the low-level resentment is a constant irritant. And as the article indicated, there is not much point to the DCUM advice of "Stop being a martyr -- change it!!!!" Most women have attempted to change things, are still trying to change things, but achieving a major revision of gender roles, with hundreds of years of ballast dragging you down, is as the article indicates, largely futile. So there is the cycle of: resentment --> fewer feelings of goodwill/romance --> less likely to want sex (even when, and this is key, the woman's libido is not low, sometimes (apparently) quite the high!) --> affairs (on both sides) more likely. The whole dynamic gets dismissed as "choreplay" - but of course it is not about who does the dishes on Thurs night (so that won't matter), but a lifetime of resentment about the BS...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to have an affair because DH basically ignores me except on the rare occasions he feels like having sex, and I am stuck on my own with the kids during his constant work travel. However, I can't imagine how I'd actually do it. No one has expressed any interest in having an affair with me. I'm not overweight and try to dress nicely, but maybe I'm just too old? (43). How do people get these affairs started?

Given that you aren't overweight, here is what you do: turn your head to the left and to the right.
See any married men you'd sleep with? He is interested! Approach him, smile, and say "Hello". Enjoy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to have an affair because DH basically ignores me except on the rare occasions he feels like having sex, and I am stuck on my own with the kids during his constant work travel. However, I can't imagine how I'd actually do it. No one has expressed any interest in having an affair with me. I'm not overweight and try to dress nicely, but maybe I'm just too old? (43). How do people get these affairs started?

Or you could go to counseling and try to figure out why you're so self-entitled that you think you should have an affair which put your marriage and your kid's well-being at risk. Being a child of divorce, I can tell you that kids are not resilient and they're never the same. Address the issues in your marriage and fix it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to have an affair because DH basically ignores me except on the rare occasions he feels like having sex, and I am stuck on my own with the kids during his constant work travel. However, I can't imagine how I'd actually do it. No one has expressed any interest in having an affair with me. I'm not overweight and try to dress nicely, but maybe I'm just too old? (43). How do people get these affairs started?

Guy here. That's definitely not too old. I'm sure there are plenty of guys on this site more than willing.