Putting 6yo in Closet at Bedtime--Too Much?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
6yo DC can be a handful. Always pushing boundaries and asking for more. During the day, it's easy to set boundaries by changing the subject, talking it out, etc. But at bedtime, I can't say "Hey, we already talked about that. No, you can't have one more XX...hey, let's see if Larla is at the park!" At bedtime, I also can't talk out why he can't have one more kiss; it will never, ever end.
So, I am firm and we are done w/bedtime at 8 sharp. 95% of the time, it's no problem. Then 5% of the time, DC will insist he's scared/not tired/cold/hot. He'll really work himself up over it. If I thought he was really scared or whatever, I'd comfort him. But given that this only happens when he's onery about not getting another hug or kiss, I think it's a power play. He gets worked up and starts screaming, crying. Part of me wants to comfort him, but my brain says not to set a bad precedent. So, I tell him he can stay in his room (I let him choose to read), but he cannot wake the rest of the house. He must be quiet. OR, he goes in the closet for 1 minute. He hates the closet. It's dark. Anyway, I threaten him a couple times, then in the closet he goes. After 2-3 times repeating this, he finally goes to bed. I don't do corporal punishment and mostly do things straight out of the postive parenting books. So, this doesn't sit well with me. Part of me says, this is too harsh. The other part says, we can't go back to the bad old days of him weaseling his way into staying up way too late. This is the only way that's worked for us. What do you guys think? |
Anonymous
|
Duck and cover, OP, duck and cover. It's about to get ugly.
PS - I think it's fine. |
Anonymous
| Too harsh. |
Anonymous
| Not okay, no. Why can't you lock him in his room with at least the possibility of light and his bed if you are willing to lock him in the closet? Though I'd just do the walk him silently back to bed thing, myself. |
Anonymous
| Most people can relate to your frustration. But seriously. Your child is afraid of the closet and you think putting him there is better than corporal punishment? There's a reason why this doesn't sit well with you. It's horribly cruel. |
Anonymous
|
Well, I've spanked my kids a few times. I've sent them to the dark closet a few times. You have to know your kid, to avoid creating trauma - see what's worse for them, and not do that. If you go that route, you also have to figure out what else you could do upstream to have a great bedtime. But if it's really 5% of the time and he's 6, I think I prefer your method over the snowflake parents who let their kids walk all over them... and there are so many, it's exhausting! |
Anonymous
| Hello, troll. |
Anonymous
|
Apparently I will disagree with pp. I think it's f'ed up. That's one of the most f'ed up things I've ever read on here. I can't even.
Most of us threaten no tv, no screen time, no cookie after dinner tomorrow. Something. Sticking him in a closet is . . . awful. I'm just going to say awful and leave it at that. |
Anonymous
| The most recommended method is to offer a prize in the morning if he goes to bed without causing trouble, and you should try this. He sounds so emotional that this method may not work on its own so you could combine the reward with the closet punishment since that does actually seem to be working. |
Anonymous
|
I am claustrophobic and was afraid of the dark as a kid. This would have traumatized the HELL out of me, so I wouldn't do it to my kids. I think it's abusive to lock a kid in a dark place.
Is there some other consequence you can give? Loss of a toy or something he really loves? I hate bedtime shenanigans as much as the next parent, but I think you're going too far. |
Anonymous
God, I hope so. |
Anonymous
| Yes, that is over the top. It's also not working if you have to do it 2 or 3 times. |
Anonymous
There is subset of children for whom rewards just do. not. work. My son, for example. |
Anonymous
|
I think it's punishment not discipline.
I usually stay for 5 mins after reading every night and they are supposed to stay in bed after that. They like the door open. Usually I have a policy about shutting the door if they are getting out of bed - you can put pieces of tape on the floor as a visual - one warning it goes to the first piece of tape towards closed. Two warnings it goes to the second piece (more closed) and third warning the door is shut. |
Anonymous
| If you want to go old-school, make him stand in the corner with his nose touching the wall for one minute. Not in the closet, of course. |