Just leave your SILs alone, really.

[Anonymous]

So many threads lately about cold SILs, aloof SILs, selfish SILs, etc. Do you people not realize that *you don't have to be best friends with your SILs?* News flash: just because your husband has a sister, does not mean she's going to be a superclose sister with you.

All you have to do is be polite and cordial and get along reasonably well. And if you two can't manage that, disengage and just LEAVE HER ALONE.

It is really that simple.

[Anonymous]

Huh. My brother is married, and his wife and I are both good people, and basically complete opposites. We are friendly but don't have much to talk about when we're alone together. But I respect how happy she makes my brother and think she's a mostly good mother even though she does things differently than I do.

We will never be best friends. But we will always put in the effort to get along nicely.

[Anonymous]

Also recognize your SIL loved your DH first. Try to understand her and respect that relationship but agree, you don't have to be best friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also recognize your SIL loved your DH first. Try to understand her and respect that relationship but agree, you don't have to be best friends.

Sometimes. Other times, there is no making SIL happy - growing up, or now.

[Anonymous]

My SIL's behavior is unbearable. I speak to her as little as possible and try to be polite, but at family events, she always makes loud and disparaging comments about my two sons, one of whom is only in preschool. She also asked DH not to have kids when we did, because as the older sibling, she had the right to be "first" to have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My SIL's behavior is unbearable. I speak to her as little as possible and try to be polite, but at family events, she always makes loud and disparaging comments about my two sons, one of whom is only in preschool. She also asked DH not to have kids when we did, because as the older sibling, she had the right to be "first" to have kids.

Sounds like you belong in the "disengage; leave her alone" camp.

[Anonymous]

Hey some of us have crazy ASF SILs and need a place to vent!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey some of us have crazy ASF SILs and need a place to vent!

Don't see her. Don't talk to her. She's your husband's problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many threads lately about cold SILs, aloof SILs, selfish SILs, etc. Do you people not realize that *you don't have to be best friends with your SILs?* News flash: just because your husband has a sister, does not mean she's going to be a superclose sister with you.

All you have to do is be polite and cordial and get along reasonably well. And if you two can't manage that, disengage and just LEAVE HER ALONE.

It is really that simple.

An anon person on the Internet attempting to manage my relationship with my SIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many threads lately about cold SILs, aloof SILs, selfish SILs, etc. Do you people not realize that *you don't have to be best friends with your SILs?* News flash: just because your husband has a sister, does not mean she's going to be a superclose sister with you.

All you have to do is be polite and cordial and get along reasonably well. And if you two can't manage that, disengage and just LEAVE HER ALONE.

It is really that simple.

An anon person on the Internet attempting to manage my relationship with my SIL.

Judging by your comment, I hope your safe place is near by. You're going to need it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many threads lately about cold SILs, aloof SILs, selfish SILs, etc. Do you people not realize that *you don't have to be best friends with your SILs?* News flash: just because your husband has a sister, does not mean she's going to be a superclose sister with you.

All you have to do is be polite and cordial and get along reasonably well. And if you two can't manage that, disengage and just LEAVE HER ALONE.

It is really that simple.

An anon person on the Internet attempting to manage my relationship with my SIL.

Judging by your comment, I hope your safe space is nearby. You're going to need it. I don't understand why lifetime doesn't have a movie about about a woman obsessed with her SIL trying to force a relationship. All they would have to do for inspiration is lurk this board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many threads lately about cold SILs, aloof SILs, selfish SILs, etc. Do you people not realize that *you don't have to be best friends with your SILs?* News flash: just because your husband has a sister, does not mean she's going to be a superclose sister with you.

All you have to do is be polite and cordial and get along reasonably well. And if you two can't manage that, disengage and just LEAVE HER ALONE.

It is really that simple.

In my experience, people who say other people are cold, aloof, selfish, etc are usually the same. Selfish people are always complaining about how selfish everyone else is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many threads lately about cold SILs, aloof SILs, selfish SILs, etc. Do you people not realize that *you don't have to be best friends with your SILs?* News flash: just because your husband has a sister, does not mean she's going to be a superclose sister with you.

All you have to do is be polite and cordial and get along reasonably well. And if you two can't manage that, disengage and just LEAVE HER ALONE.

It is really that simple.

An anon person on the Internet attempting to manage my relationship with my SIL.

Judging by your comment, I hope your safe space is nearby. You're going to need it. I don't understand why lifetime doesn't have a movie about about a woman obsessed with her SIL trying to force a relationship. All they would have to do for inspiration is lurk this board.

You sound unstable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many threads lately about cold SILs, aloof SILs, selfish SILs, etc. Do you people not realize that *you don't have to be best friends with your SILs?* News flash: just because your husband has a sister, does not mean she's going to be a superclose sister with you.

All you have to do is be polite and cordial and get along reasonably well. And if you two can't manage that, disengage and just LEAVE HER ALONE.

It is really that simple.

An anon person on the Internet attempting to manage my relationship with my SIL.

Judging by your comment, I hope your safe space is nearby. You're going to need it. I don't understand why lifetime doesn't have a movie about about a woman obsessed with her SIL trying to force a relationship. All they would have to do for inspiration is lurk this board.

You sound unstable.

Because I don't chase after unhealthy relationships?

[Anonymous]

Jesus OP, why do you even care? Maybe some of us had really good, close relationships with our brothers before the SIL came into the picture, and we're mourning those relationships because her aloofness and disinterest in being part of our family means we've lost that closeness. And maybe we're also mourning not being close with their kids, or our kids not being close with their cousins? All of which we are allowed to feel, btw. Just as we might regret losing a friend who got married and essentially disappeared from our lives. Yes, there is nothing we can do about it, and disengaging is ultimately the answer. But it can still be frustrating. And venting here on an anonymous board is a hell of a lot healthier than keeping those feelings bottled up, or God forbid, letting them loose on our brothers or SILs.

Here's a crazy thought. If YOU are so bothered by these types of threads, don't read them.