15 bus stop moms is not a small number, so I see why OP seems hurt at not being invited, since it seems like everyone else from that bus stop was invited. And it seems like she thought she was closer friends with them than is actually the case. So it’s understandable she is seeking similar exclusion stories to take away the sting. Of course we all know we are not entitled to be invited to everything, and I don’t think OP is saying this. This post is more about it hurting when you thought the relationship was more than it was. |
What? No. I absolutely wouldn’t say this. I would make eye contact and smile and that’s it. |
+1, this is how I read it. I've even been on the other side of this (in the "clique" and knowing someone who wants to be invited was not) and I'm not offended by what OP says. It's a tricky situation and I can see why it feels bad. |
Just eye contact to running into your best friend in some random place? I find that odd and I'm an introvert. |
It wasn't 15 moms from the bus stop. Where did you get that idea? |
OP provided zero evidence that these women purposefully excluded her. None. If it had been there, don't you think she would have included it in her posts? |
Look who said "hate" first. |
OP said "Share your favorite mom clique story DCUM." You don't think that had a negative connotation? She didn't say, "has anyone else been hurt by a situation like this" or a million other things that wouldn't have come across as nasty? |
DP. Do you hear yourself? You're the one literally calling other women names while trying to condemn what they have said. The delusion is unreal here. |
So that's why she chided posters who weren't following her very clear instructions? Ok. |
This is not court, you aren't a prosecutor. No one ever provides "evidence" of any interpersonal reaction on this website, it's anonymous and who has the time. OP *felt* excluded. That's the subject of the thread. Sure, she might have misinterpreted the situation, always possible. But the idea that it's her job to prove to you that her feelings accurately reflected what happened is silly, because she could never do so. She saw a big group of women from her kids' school, including a few people she considers close friends, and she felt excluded. The end. There is no point in litigating that. If you want to say "I think you probably misinterpreted this situation and are overreacting" that's fine. But demanding evidence to prove that her perception of the situation is correct? It's hostile and misguided. I hate it when people do this in threads because it just bogs them down in "I don't believe OP, OP is a sociopath, OP is a troll" and nothing fruitful is discussed. If you don't believe an OP, just... don't respond to the thread. It's that easy. |
The PP to whom I replied said that she would have said "Hey, babe! So cool to see you. Come over?" Many, many posters said that OP's friends should have/were obligated to invite her to join the group. That is blatantly false. I never once said that I would ignore someone I saw or that I wouldn't say hello or explain what we were doing (although, honestly, I don't think I even have to explain WHY I am meeting with a particular group of people at any given point in time). I said I wouldn't invite them to join me. In response to all the people saying that that's exactly would should happen. |
Except that it's not 15 bus stop moms. And yes, some posters actually have said that they should be invited to everything. OP didn't, but plenty of other posters did. |
Um, yes, people provide "evidence" of things on here all the time. It's called giving people the facts. It wouldn't have taken that long for OP to do that. She spent the time posting emojis, using all bold type, and hitting at least one additional button for all the punctuation she used. Explaining what exactly had happened would have taken less time. Everyone who said OP was misinterpreting the situation and overreacted was called names. So that's how that worked out. |
OMG, WHO CARES. OP didn't use the precise wording you would have used? You didn't like her emoji? She was flippant when you think this is a very serious conversation? Again, who cares? I personally do not think "share your favorite mom clique story" is nasty or even that negative. I think it's trying to make light of a situation that is common (feeling left out of a group of women, whatever the reason) to make it more manageable. I actually think it's a healthy attitude to have about what OP experienced, because it's like "oh yeah, sometimes friend groups between women can be a bit insular and it feels bad to be left out, but also I bet I'm not the first or last person to feel this way, let's share stories and that will probably take the sting out a bit." It's not like she came on her with a list of names to announce that XYZ women in Loudon County are jerks. She was just processing her own hurt in what I think is a reasonable way. I still don't understand why this made some of you SO angry with her. The response was insane. Even if you think the thread is dumb or think she overreacted, I just can't imagine spending 40 pages determined to rip her to shreds for it. What is the point? |