Reckless with money during divorce

[Anonymous]

My brother and his wife are in a drawn out divorce battle. The rumor mill via my family is that she is racking up charges on credit cards and exhausting their savings. At this point my brother told my parents he's having trouble covering work expenses like renting his office. I feel so sad for their child - she has spent more this year (supposedly) than it would take to pay for college. I'm obviously not privy to what's going on, so I'm skeptical, but it makes me feel nervous and upset. If this is actually happening wouldn't a judge put a stop to it?

[Anonymous]

Call us when she takes out a second mortgage and debt to tune of $122,000 for hookers and blow.

http://pagesix.com/2017/03/02/ex-claims-hunter-biden-blew-money-on-hookers-drugs/

[Anonymous]

It's not your marriage nor your money, Why does this make you nervous and upset? Consider the source of this information: your brother, who probably hates his ex at this moment. MYOB!

[Anonymous]

My ex-BIL did this. Blew through all the college funds in a year. My sister had to start from scratch.

Your brother should talk to his lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex-BIL did this. Blew through all the college funds in a year. My sister had to start from scratch.

Your brother should talk to his lawyer.

I would totally do this. I mean its pretty smart before you get to the end of the divorce proceedings and some harpy tries to make you sign an agreement providing for child support until the kid leaves college. Somethings are just BS.

[Anonymous]

Op here. It makes me nervous for my nephew and for my brother (who I care about) potentially starting all over. He's spent 20-30 years saving so to spend it all in a year doesn't seem like money that they'll earn back. It also makes me upset because I loved and miss SIL and she's alienated my whole family (not that she would have wanted to see us anymore, but I'm disappointed things went this way).

[Anonymous]

Tell him to have records of what was there when they first separated. That could help enormously when court sees the difference.

[Anonymous]

In my state (most I think) if divorce paper work has already been started then each person is solely responsible for any financial issues that happen after the start of the divorce process.

[Anonymous]

Legally, once they are officially separated any debt that is incurred is the sole responsibility of the person doing the spending. If they have joint accounts your brother should close the, and open his own.

[Anonymous]

My divorce settlement split our assets and debts based on what they were at the time of separation. Of course, if she's spent all the assets, it's going to be harder to recover them, and he has to be able to show that any charges on joint cards are hers (unless she gamers which it sounds like she won't.)

[Anonymous]

*agrees, not gamers!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. It makes me nervous for my nephew and for my brother (who I care about) potentially starting all over. He's spent 20-30 years saving so to spend it all in a year doesn't seem like money that they'll earn back. It also makes me upset because I loved and miss SIL and she's alienated my whole family (not that she would have wanted to see us anymore, but I'm disappointed things went this way).

I think you're right to be worried. Her spending is going to hurt her own son in the long run. Can your brother, on his own, cut off any cards or close any accounts, or must he have her signature to do so? I would tell him to get to their bank ASAP and talk privately with a personal banker. Even if the situation is that he cannot cut off her access to accounts, he may be able to move money into new accounts in his name only or something like that. When a woman leaves a man, the advice on DCUM often focuses on her squirreling away money as fast as she can in an account only she can access; it sounds as if he might need to do that but only if doing so doesn't affect the eventual divorce settlement.

I hope he's moving as fast as possible to get a lawyer and get a separation agreement on paper. His lawyer needs to be one with experience at protecting assets--not all lawyers are good at this.

Is SIL not speaking to you, then? I'm sorry. I know what it's like to miss an in-law you had thought of as family until things soured.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my state (most I think) if divorce paper work has already been started then each person is solely responsible for any financial issues that happen after the start of the divorce process.

This. My ex son-in-law did this. 20,000 on credit cards after the divorce was started. The judge gave him all the debt at the final hearing

[Anonymous]

There are ways to stop her spending, at least of the joint money.

Maybe offer to work through it with your brother so he can take action? Closing the joint accounts and credit cards.

If she does not have a job, not sure she could get her own credit cards.

Although whatever debt she incurs is definitely going to hurt her son to some degree.

Divorce is rarely easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother and his wife are in a drawn out divorce battle. The rumor mill via my family is that she is racking up charges on credit cards and exhausting their savings. At this point my brother told my parents he's having trouble covering work expenses like renting his office. I feel so sad for their child - she has spent more this year (supposedly) than it would take to pay for college. I'm obviously not privy to what's going on, so I'm skeptical, but it makes me feel nervous and upset. If this is actually happening wouldn't a judge put a stop to it?

Divorce is expensive. She might be buying necessary basic furnishings for a new non-marital home and paying legal fees with their savings and those cards. That wouldn't be considered irresponsible by a judge.