Should we buy a beach house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a couple of friends who have beach houses or farm houses. I gotta say, it's great in many, many ways BUT they definitely are not as involved in sports and general school and neighborhood stuff as other families. Their kids ride or sail instead of soccer and Saturday baseball games and birthday parties. I imagine when their kids get out of elementary school they will need to cut back significantly on their weekends away just because there are so many activities that they need to be close to home for. On the plus side, they have this lovely home and property that they get to enjoy.

OP here. I understand what you are saying about these families not being as involved in things closer to home. But is that necessarily a bad thing? Every family values things differently, right?

I remember growing up I had a friend who spent summers in her family's beach house on Cape Cod. She never participated in any summer-related things closer to home, like the community center day camp I went to, and didn't seem to mind "missing out" on these things, because she had a much more interesting time at the beach house.

Also, these activities that they "need to be close to home for" as you say are all optional--birthday parties, swim team, etc. We don't have a neighborhood or community pool here, so there won't be a neighborhood swim team for our kids to join, so they won't be missing out on that since there isn't one to join anyway.

I never did team sports, Girl Scouts, organized weekend activities of any sort or any kind of community-related or neighborhood-related activities and I turned out fine. My mother would never have wanted to drive me around to these kinds of things on the weekend, that would have been too much of a bother. I never really spent much time with friends on the weekends until high school either. Not saying this is an ideal way to do things, but the idea of all these sports and activities filling up every weekend seems a bit exhausting to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a couple of friends who have beach houses or farm houses. I gotta say, it's great in many, many ways BUT they definitely are not as involved in sports and general school and neighborhood stuff as other families. Their kids ride or sail instead of soccer and Saturday baseball games and birthday parties. I imagine when their kids get out of elementary school they will need to cut back significantly on their weekends away just because there are so many activities that they need to be close to home for. On the plus side, they have this lovely home and property that they get to enjoy.

OP here. I understand what you are saying about these families not being as involved in things closer to home. But is that necessarily a bad thing? Every family values things differently, right?

I remember growing up I had a friend who spent summers in her family's beach house on Cape Cod. She never participated in any summer-related things closer to home, like the community center day camp I went to, and didn't seem to mind "missing out" on these things, because she had a much more interesting time at the beach house.

Also, these activities that they "need to be close to home for" as you say are all optional--birthday parties, swim team, etc. We don't have a neighborhood or community pool here, so there won't be a neighborhood swim team for our kids to join, so they won't be missing out on that since there isn't one to join anyway.

I never did team sports, Girl Scouts, organized weekend activities of any sort or any kind of community-related or neighborhood-related activities and I turned out fine. My mother would never have wanted to drive me around to these kinds of things on the weekend, that would have been too much of a bother. I never really spent much time with friends on the weekends until high school either. Not saying this is an ideal way to do things, but the idea of all these sports and activities filling up every weekend seems a bit exhausting to me.

You keep talking about YOUR childhood, OP. Which sounds perfectly lovely. But don't you care at all about what your kids want?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a couple of friends who have beach houses or farm houses. I gotta say, it's great in many, many ways BUT they definitely are not as involved in sports and general school and neighborhood stuff as other families. Their kids ride or sail instead of soccer and Saturday baseball games and birthday parties. I imagine when their kids get out of elementary school they will need to cut back significantly on their weekends away just because there are so many activities that they need to be close to home for. On the plus side, they have this lovely home and property that they get to enjoy.

OP here. I understand what you are saying about these families not being as involved in things closer to home. But is that necessarily a bad thing? Every family values things differently, right?

I remember growing up I had a friend who spent summers in her family's beach house on Cape Cod. She never participated in any summer-related things closer to home, like the community center day camp I went to, and didn't seem to mind "missing out" on these things, because she had a much more interesting time at the beach house.

Also, these activities that they "need to be close to home for" as you say are all optional--birthday parties, swim team, etc. We don't have a neighborhood or community pool here, so there won't be a neighborhood swim team for our kids to join, so they won't be missing out on that since there isn't one to join anyway.

I never did team sports, Girl Scouts, organized weekend activities of any sort or any kind of community-related or neighborhood-related activities and I turned out fine. My mother would never have wanted to drive me around to these kinds of things on the weekend, that would have been too much of a bother. I never really spent much time with friends on the weekends until high school either. Not saying this is an ideal way to do things, but the idea of all these sports and activities filling up every weekend seems a bit exhausting to me.

You keep talking about YOUR childhood, OP. Which sounds perfectly lovely. But don't you care at all about what your kids want?

OP here. Of course I do care about what they want. But I also think that most kids are way too overscheduled these days, and I think that being less overscheduled is better, especially in the summer. My childhood was the opposite--100% unscheduled, no activities, which isn't good either. But I think the idea of all these summer swim teams, multiple sports per season, etc. is way too much overscheduling, and exhausting for kids and parents.

I'm just saying that all these activities are optional, and maybe there is a happy medium between some scheduled activities (sports, etc.) and spending a lot of time at the beach.

[Anonymous]

Do you have kids? If so, how old? As children grow, they begin to pick and choose activities they enjoy or want to try. This can lead to travel soccer, competitive gymnastics, etc. Growing up we had a beautiful beach house. I remember it with fondness. We would walk out the back door right into the beach. Then my older brother, a very talented baseball player, joined a highly competitive team. We started to go a lot less. Then my other brother followed suit and it was baseball every single weekend and special training camps during the summer, plus I wanted to join our community swim team because all my friends were there. My parents sold the house when I was 8 years old, we barely were using it for the last two years. If you don't have kids or have babies/toddlers, then go for it. You'll use it a lot and create a lot of wonderful memories. But keep in mind that children grow up and their interests change drastically. But then again, if you are getting a good deal, you can always sell it down the road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a couple of friends who have beach houses or farm houses. I gotta say, it's great in many, many ways BUT they definitely are not as involved in sports and general school and neighborhood stuff as other families. Their kids ride or sail instead of soccer and Saturday baseball games and birthday parties. I imagine when their kids get out of elementary school they will need to cut back significantly on their weekends away just because there are so many activities that they need to be close to home for. On the plus side, they have this lovely home and property that they get to enjoy.

OP here. I understand what you are saying about these families not being as involved in things closer to home. But is that necessarily a bad thing? Every family values things differently, right?

I remember growing up I had a friend who spent summers in her family's beach house on Cape Cod. She never participated in any summer-related things closer to home, like the community center day camp I went to, and didn't seem to mind "missing out" on these things, because she had a much more interesting time at the beach house.

Also, these activities that they "need to be close to home for" as you say are all optional--birthday parties, swim team, etc. We don't have a neighborhood or community pool here, so there won't be a neighborhood swim team for our kids to join, so they won't be missing out on that since there isn't one to join anyway.

I never did team sports, Girl Scouts, organized weekend activities of any sort or any kind of community-related or neighborhood-related activities and I turned out fine. My mother would never have wanted to drive me around to these kinds of things on the weekend, that would have been too much of a bother. I never really spent much time with friends on the weekends until high school either. Not saying this is an ideal way to do things, but the idea of all these sports and activities filling up every weekend seems a bit exhausting to me.

No offense, OP, but based on this thread I think the jury is still out on this. Your initial questions were "Should we buy a beach house? What considerations should we be thinking about?" And yet you feel compelled to argue with every single person who answers the question in a way you don't like. I feel like my 8 yo is on the other end of this thread, except (i) I wouldn't put up with this nonsense from her, and (ii) your spelling is better.

You've clearly decided to buy the "beach house" (or rather, the house that happens to be in a town that has a beach). So buy it. But when your kid pitches a fit because she her best friend's birthday is in July and she has to miss it, or she wants to join a swim team, or is bored to tears in a 3 BR house and can't walk to the beach, or you can't get other families to come visit you all the time because, again, it's a 3 BR house from which you have to drive to the beach, don't say you weren't informed that any or all of those things might happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? If so, how old? As children grow, they begin to pick and choose activities they enjoy or want to try. This can lead to travel soccer, competitive gymnastics, etc. Growing up we had a beautiful beach house. I remember it with fondness. We would walk out the back door right into the beach. Then my older brother, a very talented baseball player, joined a highly competitive team. We started to go a lot less. Then my other brother followed suit and it was baseball every single weekend and special training camps during the summer, plus I wanted to join our community swim team because all my friends were there. My parents sold the house when I was 8 years old, we barely were using it for the last two years. If you don't have kids or have babies/toddlers, then go for it. You'll use it a lot and create a lot of wonderful memories. But keep in mind that children grow up and their interests change drastically. But then again, if you are getting a good deal, you can always sell it down the road.

I'm the PP, sorry, I just read your kids' ages. I would go for it. You'll get a lot of used for at least 5 years. More if you oldest is not interested in competitive sports. If your oldest does become interested, then sell it when you see that its time has sailed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have 260k to be able to buy your beach house as you said, then I would just put it towards renting a real beach house (as in EASY walking distance to the beach) for a few weeks each year. You could have great beach trips for the next 20 years without the commitment and pain of owning a ( non) beach house.

+1. This is the best thing for most people - you aren't tied down to owning another piece of property. Of course, if you won't miss the $260K (like many DCUMers), go ahead and buy.

[Anonymous]

We have a 'river house' down on the Northern Neck. Ours is strictly a family house and we don't rent it out. It is four-season so we can go down all year. Our advice is to buy for the NOW and worry about later needs later. Sure, your priorities may change and you may scale back but in the meantime you want to make memories with your kids NOW. So go for it.

We have found that there is an ebb and a flow for our use. We're heading back into a flow after being on a strong ebb (four kids in middle/high school but the fourth is about ready to leave for college after next year). Our fifth, 6, is still too young to be totally consumed with spring/summer sports so it doesn't matter if he misses some games and such. When he gets up to middle and high school I'm sure we'll ebb back. But by that time maybe some of the older kids will start having families and want to go down either with or without us.

We share the house with my sister and her family. The spacing of their children is pretty similar although they still have 2 in hs so they aren't getting much more use out of the house than we are right now. But our folks are down there all the time. It all works out.

Enjoy!

[Anonymous]

Why would you buy a beach house that is not walking distance to the beach? That defeats the whole purpose. Why not take your money and invest it in a rentable 2 bedroom condo? Then you have an investment property. You can use the money you receive from rent to pay for a few weeks at a beach house that is actually at the beach. So much more fun for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Research possible flooding. Insurance for that will get progressively more expensive due to climate change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a couple of friends who have beach houses or farm houses. I gotta say, it's great in many, many ways BUT they definitely are not as involved in sports and general school and neighborhood stuff as other families. Their kids ride or sail instead of soccer and Saturday baseball games and birthday parties. I imagine when their kids get out of elementary school they will need to cut back significantly on their weekends away just because there are so many activities that they need to be close to home for. On the plus side, they have this lovely home and property that they get to enjoy.

OP here. I understand what you are saying about these families not being as involved in things closer to home. But is that necessarily a bad thing? Every family values things differently, right?

I remember growing up I had a friend who spent summers in her family's beach house on Cape Cod. She never participated in any summer-related things closer to home, like the community center day camp I went to, and didn't seem to mind "missing out" on these things, because she had a much more interesting time at the beach house.

Also, these activities that they "need to be close to home for" as you say are all optional--birthday parties, swim team, etc. We don't have a neighborhood or community pool here, so there won't be a neighborhood swim team for our kids to join, so they won't be missing out on that since there isn't one to join anyway.

I never did team sports, Girl Scouts, organized weekend activities of any sort or any kind of community-related or neighborhood-related activities and I turned out fine. My mother would never have wanted to drive me around to these kinds of things on the weekend, that would have been too much of a bother. I never really spent much time with friends on the weekends until high school either. Not saying this is an ideal way to do things, but the idea of all these sports and activities filling up every weekend seems a bit exhausting to me.

No offense, OP, but based on this thread I think the jury is still out on this. Your initial questions were "Should we buy a beach house? What considerations should we be thinking about?" And yet you feel compelled to argue with every single person who answers the question in a way you don't like. I feel like my 8 yo is on the other end of this thread, except (i) I wouldn't put up with this nonsense from her, and (ii) your spelling is better.

You've clearly decided to buy the "beach house" (or rather, the house that happens to be in a town that has a beach). So buy it. But when your kid pitches a fit because she her best friend's birthday is in July and she has to miss it, or she wants to join a swim team, or is bored to tears in a 3 BR house and can't walk to the beach, or you can't get other families to come visit you all the time because, again, it's a 3 BR house from which you have to drive to the beach, don't say you weren't informed that any or all of those things might happen.

OP, you keep calling these activities "optional," but what we are telling is that you children may really want to take the option and do them. Yes, they are "optional" in way that, say, school is not. I'm the one who said it above - and I will say it again: separate and apart from the purchase of this beach house, consider that your children are different from you, growing up in a time that is different from your childhood.

[Anonymous]

OP, Lewes is a good investment. Go for it! U will make money, more than likely, just from owning a home. 5 minute drive is perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, as a general matter, you might want to consider that your children will have different interests from you and one another. You loved staying in the same spot. They might hate seeing the same thing every year. You liked TV; they might hate it and want to be outside, competing and kicking a call around. They will join clubs, activities, and make friends, and then they will reach an age, where you should listen to what is important to and interests them. It's fine if you say no to birthday parties for kids who are the children of your friends, but understand that in a short time, it's your kids' interests that will guide you, not your interests guiding them.

That said, I am totally pro-beach house and think a 5-minute drive is just fine.

This! I absolutely hated going to the same beach year after year. My brother on the other hand loves it. This is why I wouldn't bite on a vacation property. The kids may not want to keep going back for weeks on end during the summer, and instead want to do other things. Yet, I'm going to want to use it as much as I can to make it worth it! I also did not have every weekend filled with sports as a child. I played soccer in middle school/early high school, and cheered in high school. But, my parents would not have been game for travel leagues, and endless weekends. So, I get where you're coming from. Yet, if my kid is into sports, math league, an instrument or whatever kids are into, I guess I'll be singing the same tune!

[Anonymous]

I have two kids on competitive travel teams (baseball for one and soccer for the other) and we own a beach house. We're completely tied to these schedules in the fall and spring but we're at the beach every summer weekend and for the whole month of August. We just don't allow our kids on travel sports teams to do summer teams and so far (middle school) it hasn't been an issue. They have done camps in their respective sports at our beach location which honestly have been better than similar camps here in DC.

Also we have a really active social life here in DC and our 3 kids do as well. They each have 3-4 playdates per week during the school year (the older ones now just walk to their friends' houses so they're not "playdates" persay but they're always out and about here). We all love the change of pace at the beach... we get to dig in and just spend time as a family (or with the friends we have there or whatever friends we bring with us. But it's a MUCH quieter lifestyle. It's our special place. In fact we're going for the first time this coming weekend and all 3 are talking about it non-stop. You'd think we were going somewhere super exciting and new. But kids LOVE routine. They love tradition.

We also travel internationally yearly (cheaply) each spring break so we're fans of travel. But the beach house has it's own and different value for our family. It's the place of routine and family memories and a change of pace that we all appreciate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two kids on competitive travel teams (baseball for one and soccer for the other) and we own a beach house. We're completely tied to these schedules in the fall and spring but we're at the beach every summer weekend and for the whole month of August. We just don't allow our kids on travel sports teams to do summer teams and so far (middle school) it hasn't been an issue. They have done camps in their respective sports at our beach location which honestly have been better than similar camps here in DC.

Also we have a really active social life here in DC and our 3 kids do as well. They each have 3-4 playdates per week during the school year (the older ones now just walk to their friends' houses so they're not "playdates" persay but they're always out and about here). We all love the change of pace at the beach... we get to dig in and just spend time as a family (or with the friends we have there or whatever friends we bring with us. But it's a MUCH quieter lifestyle. It's our special place. In fact we're going for the first time this coming weekend and all 3 are talking about it non-stop. You'd think we were going somewhere super exciting and new. But kids LOVE routine. They love tradition.

We also travel internationally yearly (cheaply) each spring break so we're fans of travel. But the beach house has it's own and different value for our family. It's the place of routine and family memories and a change of pace that we all appreciate.

OP here. Thanks for sharing your experiences! What kind of beach house do you own--condo, townhouse, SFH? Before your kids were on travel teams did you use it more than just in the summer?

Also can you give me an idea of what a typical day at the beach house would be like in the summer for you guys? i.e. what kinds of things besides the beach do you do there? Thanks!