Why have 3+ kids if you can’t afford a babysitter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Like who? Most people in DC, like us, have no family here. I would not trust a complete stranger to watch my kids for several days.

It’s called a nanny.

Do you just go everywhere together? Like a gypsy tribe?

What a circus.

They walk 5 abreast everywhere they go clogging aisles in grocery stores, Costco, sidewalks, etc. it would never occur to them to have one parent shop and the other stay home. It’s a big event.

Why are you annoyed or angered by seeing these large families?

Did you miss how they clog the way and make everyone go around them? Its obnoxious. Guess you live in a place devoid of families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids and a big age gap so I no longer need to drag my older 2 kids.

People with kids bring their kids. They are a package.

At the same time, I loved my childless time. I would leave kids with Dh and hang out with other moms or my childless friends. There were some women who never seemed to want to go out without their kids or their husbands were unwilling to watch kids so mom can have a night out.

Um no. I have three kids and they are most definitely not a package.

Same. I bring them when appropriate and don’t when it’s not. I can get many things done quicker and more efficiently when they stay home with spouse. Then we can spend actual quality time together after. I also don’t view taking the family to a doctor appointment together as time well spent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Like who? Most people in DC, like us, have no family here. I would not trust a complete stranger to watch my kids for several days.

It’s called a nanny.

Do you just go everywhere together? Like a gypsy tribe?

What a circus.

We don't have a Nanny, obviously. I'm not hiring a stranger to watch my kids for multiple days straight and overnight. I don't think you get this isn't a money thing. This is a safety thing.

Wait, do you also home school? And do no activities? In the normal course, kids are left with strangers all the time. If you are protecting your kids from all of this, when do you shift and start preparing them for life in the real world?

I live in FCC where the mayor's husband molested 3 girls in his basement and no one in town believed them. Of course until years later his neice caught him on tape admitting to molesting her.

I use sound parenting techniques where children are not left alone with adults in a situation that could leave them vulnerable to sexual abuse. If you don't do that, up to you. My kids are in daycare, activities and public school.

Was the mayor's husband babysitting them? It is a strange logical leap to read a news story like that and decide your kids will never have a babysitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Like who? Most people in DC, like us, have no family here. I would not trust a complete stranger to watch my kids for several days.

It’s called a nanny.

Do you just go everywhere together? Like a gypsy tribe?

What a circus.

They walk 5 abreast everywhere they go clogging aisles in grocery stores, Costco, sidewalks, etc. it would never occur to them to have one parent shop and the other stay home. It’s a big event.

Why are you annoyed or angered by seeing these large families?

Did you miss how they clog the way and make everyone go around them? Its obnoxious. Guess you live in a place devoid of families.

Why are you so bothered by having to go around them? Just go around them. Can you not walk? Maybe you can should move somewhere devoid of families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Like who? Most people in DC, like us, have no family here. I would not trust a complete stranger to watch my kids for several days.

It’s called a nanny.

Do you just go everywhere together? Like a gypsy tribe?

What a circus.

They walk 5 abreast everywhere they go clogging aisles in grocery stores, Costco, sidewalks, etc. it would never occur to them to have one parent shop and the other stay home. It’s a big event.

Why are you annoyed or angered by seeing these large families?

Did you miss how they clog the way and make everyone go around them? Its obnoxious. Guess you live in a place devoid of families.

Why are you so bothered by having to go around them? Just go around them. Can you not walk? Maybe you can should move somewhere devoid of families.

I have 3 kids. I keep my kids out of the way when we are out together. We don’t all hold hands demanding people get out of our way. It's not hard to pay attention to your surroundings and not be a selfish jerk. We see you. You seem very upset a oit this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Like who? Most people in DC, like us, have no family here. I would not trust a complete stranger to watch my kids for several days.

It’s called a nanny.

Do you just go everywhere together? Like a gypsy tribe?

What a circus.

We don't have a Nanny, obviously. I'm not hiring a stranger to watch my kids for multiple days straight and overnight. I don't think you get this isn't a money thing. This is a safety thing.

Wait, do you also home school? And do no activities? In the normal course, kids are left with strangers all the time. If you are protecting your kids from all of this, when do you shift and start preparing them for life in the real world?

One has nothing to do with the other but yes, I stayed at activities till they were much older, maybe 12. The real world is not a good place. You’ve been lucky. Yes, I will protect mine as much as I can a I live in a very different world then you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Like who? Most people in DC, like us, have no family here. I would not trust a complete stranger to watch my kids for several days.

It’s called a nanny.

Do you just go everywhere together? Like a gypsy tribe?

What a circus.

We don't have a Nanny, obviously. I'm not hiring a stranger to watch my kids for multiple days straight and overnight. I don't think you get this isn't a money thing. This is a safety thing.

Wait, do you also home school? And do no activities? In the normal course, kids are left with strangers all the time. If you are protecting your kids from all of this, when do you shift and start preparing them for life in the real world?

I live in FCC where the mayor's husband molested 3 girls in his basement and no one in town believed them. Of course until years later his neice caught him on tape admitting to molesting her.

I use sound parenting techniques where children are not left alone with adults in a situation that could leave them vulnerable to sexual abuse. If you don't do that, up to you. My kids are in daycare, activities and public school.

Was the mayor's husband babysitting them? It is a strange logical leap to read a news story like that and decide your kids will never have a babysitter.

You really think this stuff doesn’t happen?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've been invited to 2 child free weddings. Guess what? We're not going. I'm not flying my kids someone to sit in a hotel room with a babysitter.

I wish you could see how insane this is.

You either can’t afford a babysitter and so you are missing out on life events or you have a psychological problem and can’t separate yourself from your children.

Babysitters are a fortune. That money is better off in the college fund. Not missing out.

I’d rather have stuck to 2 rather than 3+ kids if it meant I couldn’t afford a babysitter to attend my friends’ and family weddings.

What’s the difference if you have one or three! No matter the amount we never used a babysitter. No family who would help. Why not take the kids to spend time with them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Like who? Most people in DC, like us, have no family here. I would not trust a complete stranger to watch my kids for several days.

It’s called a nanny.

Do you just go everywhere together? Like a gypsy tribe?

What a circus.

They walk 5 abreast everywhere they go clogging aisles in grocery stores, Costco, sidewalks, etc. it would never occur to them to have one parent shop and the other stay home. It’s a big event.

Why are you annoyed or angered by seeing these large families?

Did you miss how they clog the way and make everyone go around them? Its obnoxious. Guess you live in a place devoid of families.

Why are you so bothered by having to go around them? Just go around them. Can you not walk? Maybe you can should move somewhere devoid of families.

I have 3 kids. I keep my kids out of the way when we are out together. We don’t all hold hands demanding people get out of our way. It's not hard to pay attention to your surroundings and not be a selfish jerk. We see you. You seem very upset a oit this.

Did you mean to respond to the other poster or are you just confused?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Like who? Most people in DC, like us, have no family here. I would not trust a complete stranger to watch my kids for several days.

It’s called a nanny.

Do you just go everywhere together? Like a gypsy tribe?

What a circus.

We don't have a Nanny, obviously. I'm not hiring a stranger to watch my kids for multiple days straight and overnight. I don't think you get this isn't a money thing. This is a safety thing.

Wait, do you also home school? And do no activities? In the normal course, kids are left with strangers all the time. If you are protecting your kids from all of this, when do you shift and start preparing them for life in the real world?

One has nothing to do with the other but yes, I stayed at activities till they were much older, maybe 12. The real world is not a good place. You’ve been lucky. Yes, I will protect mine as much as I can a I live in a very different world then you.

Yes you do. Paranoia and delusion

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Like who? Most people in DC, like us, have no family here. I would not trust a complete stranger to watch my kids for several days.

It’s called a nanny.

Do you just go everywhere together? Like a gypsy tribe?

What a circus.

We don't have a Nanny, obviously. I'm not hiring a stranger to watch my kids for multiple days straight and overnight. I don't think you get this isn't a money thing. This is a safety thing.

Wait, do you also home school? And do no activities? In the normal course, kids are left with strangers all the time. If you are protecting your kids from all of this, when do you shift and start preparing them for life in the real world?

One has nothing to do with the other but yes, I stayed at activities till they were much older, maybe 12. The real world is not a good place. You’ve been lucky. Yes, I will protect mine as much as I can a I live in a very different world then you.

Yes you do. Paranoia and delusion

DP but I feel bad for your kids. I see these news articles about children abducted, molested, bullied and assume they have parents like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids and a big age gap so I no longer need to drag my older 2 kids.

People with kids bring their kids. They are a package.

At the same time, I loved my childless time. I would leave kids with Dh and hang out with other moms or my childless friends. There were some women who never seemed to want to go out without their kids or their husbands were unwilling to watch kids so mom can have a night out.

This is a you thing, not an all people thing.

I am not talking about me. I already said I have a big age gap. I will get slammed but I stopped working when I had my third but I kept my nanny so I can take older kids to sports without dragging a sleeping baby. I kept the nanny to continue to cook and clean and so I can do things without kids or without all my kids.

We know families who come as a package. This is more for younger kids. My older kids are now in middle and high school. My youngest is 7. My 7 year old has friends whose friends always bring their siblings to everything. Sometimes it is annoying but I know if we hang out with Kate, her brother will be coming too.

[Anonymous]

People are dumb. Why do I see a single mom on Nextdoor with 4 kids begging gore money and food and clothing and housing? Didn’t she notice after the first or even second kid that kids are very expensive and make life much harder?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've been invited to 2 child free weddings. Guess what? We're not going. I'm not flying my kids someone to sit in a hotel room with a babysitter.

I wish you could see how insane this is.

You either can’t afford a babysitter and so you are missing out on life events or you have a psychological problem and can’t separate yourself from your children.

Babysitters are a fortune. That money is better off in the college fund. Not missing out.

I’d rather have stuck to 2 rather than 3+ kids if it meant I couldn’t afford a babysitter to attend my friends’ and family weddings.

What’s the difference if you have one or three! No matter the amount we never used a babysitter. No family who would help. Why not take the kids to spend time with them!

Because they aren’t invited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is American culture so anti-children? It is so bizarre to me that people have issues with children being a part of life.

.

I don’t think it’s American culture. It’s economics. Families don’t think about consequences of having so many kids.

They don’t think “Oh, I’ll never be alone with my husband again or any other adult, I’ll not be able to attend weddings, concerts and other events. I won’t afford college. I won’t be able to afford vacations that involve flying.”

A French woman would never think of herself as a package with all her kids. I can’t imagine who in Europe would. It’s a psychological problem if one doesn’t see the boundaries between persons.

Parents have their own lives and children have their own lives. Parents don’t have to sit through children parties and children don’t need to attend adult events. In America you just can’t afford it.

I think it is American culture (mostly Western and anti children). Why is a wedding an adult only event? Traditionally, in eastern cultures, it’s a family affair and children are welcome. Framing it as a psychological problem is BS. The people with the psych problems are the ones with the deep seated resentment of children. Maybe they had a bad childhood and their trauma lead to self hatred and projection by getting annoyed seeing children anywhere.

It’s not anti children to have a culture that offers both kid welcome and adult only weddings.