Why wouldn't you be happy to see your friend get the job? I'm so glad this toxic point of view is not pervasive at our school. It is counter to the humility and sense of community that becomes a part of their character. |
Generally, people seem to pursue a path of not encouraging competition. More interesting, however, is that the path seems different for private vs. public schools.
Many claim that private schools discourage too many kids from applying to the same schools, so making your choice obvious to many is the way of excluding competition - I was here first! To the contrary, public schools do not try to limit the number of kids applying to any one school, thus not sharing one’s intentions is most prominent. Both methods try to accomplish the same thing - narrow competition - but the structure of the application process at the different types of schools requires different approaches. |
Ah, a philosopher! |
Yes, you should share with admissions counselor. |
Kids tend to talk a lot and copy one another. I would discourage both. |
This is what I’m advising my kid. Pick some that you don’t mind sharing (publics, and ones that accept many). Otherwise keep the rest private, especially Targets you really like. |
Cannot reiterate this enough. True in RD too. |
LOL Me, too. In the age of the internet/Naviance/deluge of print mail from colleges, pray tell which colleges are "unknown"?!?!? |
SLACs tend to run under most people’s radar, but no small college is going to take 5 from a high school. If a kid highlighted a school, explained why they were interested, and it piqued another kid’s interest, the chatty kid might have hurt their own chances of admission. Also, even today, people of average or UMC means oftentimes don’t seem to understand how to use a NPC and grant aid at the best schools to apply ED and afford a great school. Instead, they’ll tell you that they need merit aid and to compare offers, so they must apply EA or RD. If a chatty kid explains how they might be able to afford an expensive college, other kids who might be constrained by finances might reconsider their choices, thereby potentially hurting the sharing kid. These are just some examples, but the big picture is that there are informational asymmetries among kids and families. For people who do their homework, they have better shots at great outcomes. However, if you give your insights away for free, you might become the victim of your own largesse. Finally, some say none of this matters because a kid’s record is already set by senior year. True, but informational asymmetries exist at every tier. Once the best kids understand the game, stuff goes from competitive to crazy. No need to feed your competition. |
My kids' school uses Naviance. We don't see who is applying, but we know how many have applied/admitted/attended over the past five years. I don't see informational asymmetries. |
DP here - that is econ talk |
I know it's DCUM but this attitude makes me so sad. |
DP here. I agree with you that ideally college admissions should not be a zero-sum game. But the reality is chilling. Colleges and universities are businesses with payrolls to meet. Many are desperate to attract more applicants than they can possibly take in order to ensure a steady supply of income (now and in the future,) or to look more exclusive and desirable to potential student's and donors. Colleges are not thinking about you or or child, they are thinking about their own futures, and what use they have for you and your child. These facts induce cynicism which is bad, of course. At the same time, I worry about you. If hearing someone lay out the reality of college admissions so clearly makes you sad, the real thing is going to make you even sadder. Please get a grip on the realities now and it will help save you and your child from a lot of heartbreak. |
It’s you, folks. You’re the problem. Our kids have record levels of anxiety. They all think they’re crabs in a bucket, because that’s what their parents are telling them. |
No need to worry about me. My kid is in his third year at a selective university. Most of my friends talked freely throughout the process, a few kept it close to the vest. I'm well aware that some people withhold information that could help others and some outright lie. I'm not naive. I get it. But yeah, it does make me sad. |