Keep mum or share the schools you're considering?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one cares. Almost everyone is genuinely rooting for your kid. Stop creating drama where none exists

Yes. This one. DC will tell if anyone asks. Most schools he applied to are reach schools. He knows that he cannot attach his self-worth to these school decisions so it's not a big deal to him when his response to people is that he was waitlisted or outright denied a spot.

And when he gets an acceptance, people are genuinely happy for him. He's not going out of his way proclaiming where he has applied to but will also not be cryptic when asked.

[Anonymous]

Don't tell a soul.

[Anonymous]

We don’t care what other people think in our house so sharing is not an issue. Your kid has done the work already by the time you get to discussing schools. So if you want to apply to this or that, it has nothing to do with my kid. I’ll cheer your kid on even if they are applying to the same schools!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one cares. Almost everyone is genuinely rooting for your kid. Stop creating drama where none exists

Nope. Read some of the posts trying to disparage top colleges on this board. People don't have your best interests at heart, and turn quick if they think your kid is doing better than their kid. Also, only so many from each HS are accepted, so it is not worth educating people about schools they were not considering (had you not mentioned it).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one cares. Almost everyone is genuinely rooting for your kid. Stop creating drama where none exists

+100

[Anonymous]

We're also of the mum variety.

The biggest offenders are family members and admins, mostly because the first group wants to know if/why/why-not DC is/isn't applying to a family alma mater (and look down to anything that isn't or sneer at a school substantially above)....and the admins want to protect their very top students by not flooding a particular AO while still keeping up appearances of their program (and results, which mean scholarships and/or admittances). Bah Humbug to them all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:College lists are like baby names. When you're pregnant, everyone has an opinion on potential names. Once a baby is born, everyone loves the name as it's no longer theoretical. Good luck in finding the best school for your kids!

100% - I don't want anyone influencing the school my DC selects as there are a lot of strong opinions out there. I want DC to be as free from bias as possible when making this decision. Working hard to keep my own mouth shut. : 0 )

[Anonymous]

Stay quiet, for sure. Our current college senior with a 4.0 unweighted was a match for UVA (hard rejection, foreign language matters) and Va Tech (waitlisted, eventually withdrew). Wasn't talking about her applications but a particularly annoying nosy aunt cornered her at Thanksgiving.
Instead of being able to absorb the results privately, our kid had the extra difficulty of dealing with family judgement, and yes, some not nice people in the mix.
Landed fine but keeping it close to the vest, may make the whole process easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one cares. Almost everyone is genuinely rooting for your kid. Stop creating drama where none exists

Exactly. If you’re naturally a private person, sure, don’t talk about it—you’re not obligated to. And if your kid really doesn’t want people to know, respect their wishes. But otherwise just do what’s natural.

These no one cares posters are insane.

If you say, I love Vanderbilt I'm going to apply there, there's not a chance a classmate will swoop in and apply ED? And that can hurt you.

if you say, oh I'm thinking of Pitt they have a good X department, someone else can the. get their app in sooner and maybe do better with admission and merit.

Like really what are you guys talking about. People care. It can hurt you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one cares. Almost everyone is genuinely rooting for your kid. Stop creating drama where none exists

Exactly. If you’re naturally a private person, sure, don’t talk about it—you’re not obligated to. And if your kid really doesn’t want people to know, respect their wishes. But otherwise just do what’s natural.

These no one cares posters are insane.

If you say, I love Vanderbilt I'm going to apply there, there's not a chance a classmate will swoop in and apply ED? And that can hurt you.

if you say, oh I'm thinking of Pitt they have a good X department, someone else can the. get their app in sooner and maybe do better with admission and merit.

Like really what are you guys talking about. People care. It can hurt you

I don’t look at everyone as competition and assume the worst. That’s a miserable way to go through life.

When my kid got rejected from an Ivy ED, one of the first things he said was that he hoped one of the other kids from his school who he’s friendly with got in (one did). They are different kids with different credentials, and the other kid’s were a better fit for what the school was looking for. That’s life. My kid applied ED2 to a school a classmate got into ED1; my kid also got in. It’s not zero sum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one cares. Almost everyone is genuinely rooting for your kid. Stop creating drama where none exists

Exactly. If you’re naturally a private person, sure, don’t talk about it—you’re not obligated to. And if your kid really doesn’t want people to know, respect their wishes. But otherwise just do what’s natural.

These no one cares posters are insane.

If you say, I love Vanderbilt I'm going to apply there, there's not a chance a classmate will swoop in and apply ED? And that can hurt you.

if you say, oh I'm thinking of Pitt they have a good X department, someone else can the. get their app in sooner and maybe do better with admission and merit.

Like really what are you guys talking about. People care. It can hurt you

Oh my.

[Anonymous]

It is true sadly. Our kid just gave names of schools not applying and we did the same and just said later that we decided to change last minute. There are crazy parents out there who will try to contact admissions departments at your school or college and trash your kid so better to say zero.

[Anonymous]

This is weird. I assume people are rooting for my kid. I don't give them a blow-by-blow because that's boring but I tell them the schools he is considering.

[Anonymous]

I think if you glance quickly through other threads in this forum you will see how awful people can be.

Keep it to yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I won't tell a soul other than my parents. People are snobs and will look down if we do, even with in-laws.

One word of caution. Make sure your kid doesn't take this as you being embarrassed by their college options. Who cares if the snobs look down on you?