Keep mum or share the schools you're considering?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very selective schools attract highly competitive students, by definition. While admissions may not be a zero-sum game at all schools, it essentially is at many small, highly selective colleges, and it’s very similar for mid-sized, selective schools. If you think you can be an open book prior to the application deadlines, you’re naive, not applying to selective schools, or indifferent to an admit.

This is your experience, not everyone’s. My kid applied to highly selective schools and was open about where he was applying. He and one of his closest friends with a nearly identical profile applied to number of the same schools and had similar results (including admission with top merit to a selective LAC). He and another kid got into the same highly selective LAC in different rounds of ED.

I don’t care whether people share or not; everyone should do what works for them in this crazy process. But the idea that kids applying to highly selective schools are hurting themselves by talking about where they’re applying is an assumption, not fact. You have no idea why your kid didn’t get into Yale; you want an easy explanation, and the idea that because one kid from your school got in another couldn’t is easy. You have no idea if it’s accurate, and spending all of your time viewing other people as competition just sucks joy from your life.

It’s not about easy explanations, it’s about maximizing your chances.

As you say, you do you, but if you were applying to a competitive and coveted job or promotion, would you share your intentions with others who could easily apply? It just seems like common sense not to. It’s not that others couldn’t apply, but would you actually bait/encourage others to do so? And sure, the decision committee has their own prerogatives, which may elevate your resume over others, but you probably won’t know that when you apply. Of course, if you’re indifferent to your result or just as happy to see your friend get the job, chat away.

Why wouldn't you be happy to see your friend get the job? I'm so glad this toxic point of view is not pervasive at our school. It is counter to the humility and sense of community that becomes a part of their character.

[Anonymous]

Generally, people seem to pursue a path of not encouraging competition. More interesting, however, is that the path seems different for private vs. public schools.

Many claim that private schools discourage too many kids from applying to the same schools, so making your choice obvious to many is the way of excluding competition - I was here first!

To the contrary, public schools do not try to limit the number of kids applying to any one school, thus not sharing one’s intentions is most prominent.

Both methods try to accomplish the same thing - narrow competition - but the structure of the application process at the different types of schools requires different approaches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids tend to be followers, so if you have discovered a hidden gem where few or no students are applying from your school, I would keep it quiet. And in the reverse, don't apply ED to very selective schools where several strong academic, athlete or leader-type students from the same school are also applying. It's a waste of your one shot. Apply elsewhere.

But if no one says anything, how do you know who is applying where?

Ah, a philosopher!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Generally, people seem to pursue a path of not encouraging competition. More interesting, however, is that the path seems different for private vs. public schools.

Many claim that private schools discourage too many kids from applying to the same schools, so making your choice obvious to many is the way of excluding competition - I was here first!

To the contrary, public schools do not try to limit the number of kids applying to any one school, thus not sharing one’s intentions is most prominent.

Both methods try to accomplish the same thing - narrow competition - but the structure of the application process at the different types of schools requires different approaches.

Yes, you should share with admissions counselor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids tend to be followers, so if you have discovered a hidden gem where few or no students are applying from your school, I would keep it quiet. And in the reverse, don't apply ED to very selective schools where several strong academic, athlete or leader-type students from the same school are also applying. It's a waste of your one shot. Apply elsewhere.

But if no one says anything, how do you know who is applying where?

Kids tend to talk a lot and copy one another. I would discourage both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:B+ kid here. She wouldn't have been vying for a highly selective school ... she just didn't want everyone knowing her business! She applied to 10 and I think she would mention 2 or 3 when people would ask. Her choice!

This is what I’m advising my kid. Pick some that you don’t mind sharing (publics, and ones that accept many). Otherwise keep the rest private, especially Targets you really like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids tend to be followers, so if you have discovered a hidden gem where few or no students are applying from your school, I would keep it quiet. And in the reverse, don't apply ED to very selective schools where several strong academic, athlete or leader-type students from the same school are also applying. It's a waste of your one shot. Apply elsewhere.

Cannot reiterate this enough. True in RD too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious about these super selective schools that nobody knew about or considered until Larlo Jr. blabbed about them.

LOL Me, too. In the age of the internet/Naviance/deluge of print mail from colleges, pray tell which colleges are "unknown"?!?!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious about these super selective schools that nobody knew about or considered until Larlo Jr. blabbed about them.

SLACs tend to run under most people’s radar, but no small college is going to take 5 from a high school. If a kid highlighted a school, explained why they were interested, and it piqued another kid’s interest, the chatty kid might have hurt their own chances of admission.

Also, even today, people of average or UMC means oftentimes don’t seem to understand how to use a NPC and grant aid at the best schools to apply ED and afford a great school. Instead, they’ll tell you that they need merit aid and to compare offers, so they must apply EA or RD. If a chatty kid explains how they might be able to afford an expensive college, other kids who might be constrained by finances might reconsider their choices, thereby potentially hurting the sharing kid.

These are just some examples, but the big picture is that there are informational asymmetries among kids and families. For people who do their homework, they have better shots at great outcomes. However, if you give your insights away for free, you might become the victim of your own largesse.

Finally, some say none of this matters because a kid’s record is already set by senior year. True, but informational asymmetries exist at every tier. Once the best kids understand the game, stuff goes from competitive to crazy. No need to feed your competition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious about these super selective schools that nobody knew about or considered until Larlo Jr. blabbed about them.

SLACs tend to run under most people’s radar, but no small college is going to take 5 from a high school. If a kid highlighted a school, explained why they were interested, and it piqued another kid’s interest, the chatty kid might have hurt their own chances of admission.

Also, even today, people of average or UMC means oftentimes don’t seem to understand how to use a NPC and grant aid at the best schools to apply ED and afford a great school. Instead, they’ll tell you that they need merit aid and to compare offers, so they must apply EA or RD. If a chatty kid explains how they might be able to afford an expensive college, other kids who might be constrained by finances might reconsider their choices, thereby potentially hurting the sharing kid.

These are just some examples, but the big picture is that there are informational asymmetries among kids and families. For people who do their homework, they have better shots at great outcomes. However, if you give your insights away for free, you might become the victim of your own largesse.

Finally, some say none of this matters because a kid’s record is already set by senior year. True, but informational asymmetries exist at every tier. Once the best kids understand the game, stuff goes from competitive to crazy. No need to feed your competition.

My kids' school uses Naviance. We don't see who is applying, but we know how many have applied/admitted/attended over the past five years. I don't see informational asymmetries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious about these super selective schools that nobody knew about or considered until Larlo Jr. blabbed about them.

SLACs tend to run under most people’s radar, but no small college is going to take 5 from a high school. If a kid highlighted a school, explained why they were interested, and it piqued another kid’s interest, the chatty kid might have hurt their own chances of admission.

Also, even today, people of average or UMC means oftentimes don’t seem to understand how to use a NPC and grant aid at the best schools to apply ED and afford a great school. Instead, they’ll tell you that they need merit aid and to compare offers, so they must apply EA or RD. If a chatty kid explains how they might be able to afford an expensive college, other kids who might be constrained by finances might reconsider their choices, thereby potentially hurting the sharing kid.

These are just some examples, but the big picture is that there are informational asymmetries among kids and families. For people who do their homework, they have better shots at great outcomes. However, if you give your insights away for free, you might become the victim of your own largesse.

Finally, some say none of this matters because a kid’s record is already set by senior year. True, but informational asymmetries exist at every tier. Once the best kids understand the game, stuff goes from competitive to crazy. No need to feed your competition.

My kids' school uses Naviance. We don't see who is applying, but we know how many have applied/admitted/attended over the past five years. I don't see informational asymmetries.

DP here - that is econ talk

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious about these super selective schools that nobody knew about or considered until Larlo Jr. blabbed about them.

SLACs tend to run under most people’s radar, but no small college is going to take 5 from a high school. If a kid highlighted a school, explained why they were interested, and it piqued another kid’s interest, the chatty kid might have hurt their own chances of admission.

Also, even today, people of average or UMC means oftentimes don’t seem to understand how to use a NPC and grant aid at the best schools to apply ED and afford a great school. Instead, they’ll tell you that they need merit aid and to compare offers, so they must apply EA or RD. If a chatty kid explains how they might be able to afford an expensive college, other kids who might be constrained by finances might reconsider their choices, thereby potentially hurting the sharing kid.

These are just some examples, but the big picture is that there are informational asymmetries among kids and families. For people who do their homework, they have better shots at great outcomes. However, if you give your insights away for free, you might become the victim of your own largesse.

Finally, some say none of this matters because a kid’s record is already set by senior year. True, but informational asymmetries exist at every tier. Once the best kids understand the game, stuff goes from competitive to crazy. No need to feed your competition.

I know it's DCUM but this attitude makes me so sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious about these super selective schools that nobody knew about or considered until Larlo Jr. blabbed about them.

SLACs tend to run under most people’s radar, but no small college is going to take 5 from a high school. If a kid highlighted a school, explained why they were interested, and it piqued another kid’s interest, the chatty kid might have hurt their own chances of admission.

Also, even today, people of average or UMC means oftentimes don’t seem to understand how to use a NPC and grant aid at the best schools to apply ED and afford a great school. Instead, they’ll tell you that they need merit aid and to compare offers, so they must apply EA or RD. If a chatty kid explains how they might be able to afford an expensive college, other kids who might be constrained by finances might reconsider their choices, thereby potentially hurting the sharing kid.

These are just some examples, but the big picture is that there are informational asymmetries among kids and families. For people who do their homework, they have better shots at great outcomes. However, if you give your insights away for free, you might become the victim of your own largesse.

Finally, some say none of this matters because a kid’s record is already set by senior year. True, but informational asymmetries exist at every tier. Once the best kids understand the game, stuff goes from competitive to crazy. No need to feed your competition.

I know it's DCUM but this attitude makes me so sad.

DP here. I agree with you that ideally college admissions should not be a zero-sum game. But the reality is chilling. Colleges and universities are businesses with payrolls to meet. Many are desperate to attract more applicants than they can possibly take in order to ensure a steady supply of income (now and in the future,) or to look more exclusive and desirable to potential student's and donors. Colleges are not thinking about you or or child, they are thinking about their own futures, and what use they have for you and your child. These facts induce cynicism which is bad, of course. At the same time, I worry about you. If hearing someone lay out the reality of college admissions so clearly makes you sad, the real thing is going to make you even sadder. Please get a grip on the realities now and it will help save you and your child from a lot of heartbreak.

[Anonymous]

It’s you, folks. You’re the problem. Our kids have record levels of anxiety. They all think they’re crabs in a bucket, because that’s what their parents are telling them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious about these super selective schools that nobody knew about or considered until Larlo Jr. blabbed about them.

SLACs tend to run under most people’s radar, but no small college is going to take 5 from a high school. If a kid highlighted a school, explained why they were interested, and it piqued another kid’s interest, the chatty kid might have hurt their own chances of admission.

Also, even today, people of average or UMC means oftentimes don’t seem to understand how to use a NPC and grant aid at the best schools to apply ED and afford a great school. Instead, they’ll tell you that they need merit aid and to compare offers, so they must apply EA or RD. If a chatty kid explains how they might be able to afford an expensive college, other kids who might be constrained by finances might reconsider their choices, thereby potentially hurting the sharing kid.

These are just some examples, but the big picture is that there are informational asymmetries among kids and families. For people who do their homework, they have better shots at great outcomes. However, if you give your insights away for free, you might become the victim of your own largesse.

Finally, some say none of this matters because a kid’s record is already set by senior year. True, but informational asymmetries exist at every tier. Once the best kids understand the game, stuff goes from competitive to crazy. No need to feed your competition.

I know it's DCUM but this attitude makes me so sad.

DP here. I agree with you that ideally college admissions should not be a zero-sum game. But the reality is chilling. Colleges and universities are businesses with payrolls to meet. Many are desperate to attract more applicants than they can possibly take in order to ensure a steady supply of income (now and in the future,) or to look more exclusive and desirable to potential student's and donors. Colleges are not thinking about you or or child, they are thinking about their own futures, and what use they have for you and your child. These facts induce cynicism which is bad, of course. At the same time, I worry about you. If hearing someone lay out the reality of college admissions so clearly makes you sad, the real thing is going to make you even sadder. Please get a grip on the realities now and it will help save you and your child from a lot of heartbreak.

No need to worry about me. My kid is in his third year at a selective university. Most of my friends talked freely throughout the process, a few kept it close to the vest. I'm well aware that some people withhold information that could help others and some outright lie. I'm not naive. I get it. But yeah, it does make me sad.