my 24 year old daughter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He sounds like a complete tool and loser. Ditch him fast!

Thankfully she did!!!

Congratulations OP!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No no no!!!!! He sounds like a loser of the highest order.

Why? Because he has two kids? I am honestly curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No no no!!!!! He sounds like a loser of the highest order.

Agree that it is BAD (!!!) to move in w/ each other, but what makes you think he is a "loser of the highest order" w/out knowing him????

Um, because losers move quickly as they have nothing to LOSE. Two kids at age 25? How old are these children? Was he ever married? Are the children from the same woman? A mother’s disapproval can be very powerful, especially considering it is likely that she still has some financial dependence on her parents. She will probably need a guarantor on a lease.

I believe they are 5 and 10 month old, two different "baby mamas", just hope they break up soon.

OMG i have nothing against having kids early but THIS ^ is insane.

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised a college educated teacher would even consider such a man.

[Anonymous]

Tell her to sit with him and plan a budget with their expenses. She needs to see how his pay covers rent, transportation, utilities, groceries, and child support x2. Does he have savings to cover rent should they break up or decide to live apart?

These can’t be things she knows about him yet!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No no no!!!!! He sounds like a loser of the highest order.

Agree that it is BAD (!!!) to move in w/ each other, but what makes you think he is a "loser of the highest order" w/out knowing him????

Um, because losers move quickly as they have nothing to LOSE. Two kids at age 25? How old are these children? Was he ever married? Are the children from the same woman? A mother’s disapproval can be very powerful, especially considering it is likely that she still has some financial dependence on her parents. She will probably need a guarantor on a lease.

I believe they are 5 and 10 month old, two different "baby mamas", just hope they break up soon.

OMG i have nothing against having kids early but THIS ^ is insane.

Definitely do not have kids with this man. Their lives will be a train wreck.

[Anonymous]

OP's DD broke up with him so problem resolved on its own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:good god, no! dump the 25 year old with 2 kids, pronto!

Hopefully they have not had sex yet.

[Anonymous]

He will soon have 3 kids if she moves in with him.

[Anonymous]

The birth rate in the 20-24 age range is the 3rd highest of all age ranges so there are a lot of women (and men) becoming parents before 25.

I don't find that aspect to be that shocking.

However moving in together when kids are involved after a month is very irresponsible and short sighted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not say you disapprove. I would couch it in terms of his kids - it’s a big responsibility to date someone with kids. Not necessarily taking care of them, but in dropping in and out of their lives. Tell her she should wait until she knows that she will be a permanent part of their lives and up for responsibilities and emotional connection of basically being a stepmom to these kids. It’s not fair to them to pop in and out. That would make me think twice. It’s not as carefree as moving in with a single guy (not that she should do that after one month either!).

I would pitch it from this angle too. It's not fair to the kids to be their mom for a couple years then "Oops, it didn't work out!". If she wants to be their mom, she should marry the dad. She would probably balk at marrying now, so why is she moving in now? She should also consider how working all day with other people's kids, then coming home to somebody else's kids in her living space will impact her mental health and energy levels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To be fair, my grandpa had three by the time he was 25 and according to my mom and uncles, was a loving and responsible dad.

Sure.

However, 25 year-olds today are far less mature and responsible than people that age were in the past.