Therapist filed report with CPS, should I inform husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While details would be helpful, I'd fire your therapist

Sounds like ditching the husband would be more appropriate if he’s committing reportable acts.

Therapist has a right and duty to report, but she broke patient confidence. I would never again trust him/her.

Any responsible therapist is going to break patience confidence after hearing evidence of CHILD ABUSE!

OP if you like your therapist you might as well stay with them, they are a responsible MANDATED REPORTER and they may be able to help you get your head out of you anus, stop being codependent and start protecting your child(ren) from CHILD ABUSE.

From what the OP had described, there was no abuse.

The OP is lying to us - if the therapist reported to CPS it was because OP disclosed something that meets the mandated reporter’s obligation, i.e., child abuse.

I know a thing or two about this, I am a former prosecutor who filed hundreds of petitions to remove children or formally intervene with their families and I put plenty of child abusers in prison, too.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN ON THIS PLANET HAVE EXPERIENCED VIOLENCE.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN.

Sure, some of them live in places where there is ongoing conflict or war and that’s the violence they have experienced.

But far more of them have experienced violence at the hands of ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy.’ And yes, an adult screaming at a child on a regular basis as their routine parenting is ABUSE.

Emotional abuse is every bit as damaging - and longer lasting - than most physical abuse. Beyond that, most parents who cannot control themselves and resort to routinely screaming at their kids have also used physical force that is unacceptable and anyone who is that emotionally unstable has the potential to snap and hit a child with extreme force.

I don’t tolerate excusing this kind of ‘parenting’ which is not parenting at all.

I’ve been sick with a bad respiratory infection the last two weeks and I spent much of my time laid up watching the trial of Adam Montgomery, who lost his shit and punched his 5 year old daughter in the head for wetting her pants. She died, and he carried her body around for months before dismembering her and throwing her away like garbage.

I cannot fathom screaming at a child. It’s traumatizing to a child to be screamed at by the people upon whom they rely for basic survival. You think a child being screamed at doesn’t wonder what else that ‘parent’ might do?

Anyone who excuses this kind of sick breeder behavior needs their head examined. Shame on all of you who do it and think it’s okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While details would be helpful, I'd fire your therapist

Sounds like ditching the husband would be more appropriate if he’s committing reportable acts.

Therapist has a right and duty to report, but she broke patient confidence. I would never again trust him/her.

Any responsible therapist is going to break patience confidence after hearing evidence of CHILD ABUSE!

OP if you like your therapist you might as well stay with them, they are a responsible MANDATED REPORTER and they may be able to help you get your head out of you anus, stop being codependent and start protecting your child(ren) from CHILD ABUSE.

From what the OP had described, there was no abuse.

The OP is lying to us - if the therapist reported to CPS it was because OP disclosed something that meets the mandated reporter’s obligation, i.e., child abuse.

I know a thing or two about this, I am a former prosecutor who filed hundreds of petitions to remove children or formally intervene with their families and I put plenty of child abusers in prison, too.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN ON THIS PLANET HAVE EXPERIENCED VIOLENCE.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN.

Sure, some of them live in places where there is ongoing conflict or war and that’s the violence they have experienced.

But far more of them have experienced violence at the hands of ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy.’ And yes, an adult screaming at a child on a regular basis as their routine parenting is ABUSE.

Emotional abuse is every bit as damaging - and longer lasting - than most physical abuse. Beyond that, most parents who cannot control themselves and resort to routinely screaming at their kids have also used physical force that is unacceptable and anyone who is that emotionally unstable has the potential to snap and hit a child with extreme force.

I don’t tolerate excusing this kind of ‘parenting’ which is not parenting at all.

I’ve been sick with a bad respiratory infection the last two weeks and I spent much of my time laid up watching the trial of Adam Montgomery, who lost his shit and punched his 5 year old daughter in the head for wetting her pants. She died, and he carried her body around for months before dismembering her and throwing her away like garbage.

I cannot fathom screaming at a child. It’s traumatizing to a child to be screamed at by the people upon whom they rely for basic survival. You think a child being screamed at doesn’t wonder what else that ‘parent’ might do?

Anyone who excuses this kind of sick breeder behavior needs their head examined. Shame on all of you who do it and think it’s okay.

You had me until the screaming part.

All moms scream at their kids at one point or another, literally all of us. We do it because we repeat the same things nicely, quietly, over and over but our kids ignore us until we scream it. Boom! As soon as I scream something my kids listen. I don’t scream until I’ve repeated the same thing at least twenty times. “Johnny, it’s time to go practice piano.” Johnny’s watching tv or playing video games. “Come on Johnny, my love, it’s time for piano…..” It’d be the next morning before little Johnny stopped playing x-box and started playing the piano if I didn’t scream.

We all succumb to it eventually. It’s true for almost every nice mom I know. And if it’s not the mom. It’s the dad. Because kids like to ignore us when they don’t feel like listening.

I don’t believe that you have any experience with kids at all. You’re a liar and a judgmental dumb one at that. “Breeder behavior,” you’re kidding, right? You mean “parenting?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While details would be helpful, I'd fire your therapist

Sounds like ditching the husband would be more appropriate if he’s committing reportable acts.

Therapist has a right and duty to report, but she broke patient confidence. I would never again trust him/her.

Any responsible therapist is going to break patience confidence after hearing evidence of CHILD ABUSE!

OP if you like your therapist you might as well stay with them, they are a responsible MANDATED REPORTER and they may be able to help you get your head out of you anus, stop being codependent and start protecting your child(ren) from CHILD ABUSE.

From what the OP had described, there was no abuse.

The OP is lying to us - if the therapist reported to CPS it was because OP disclosed something that meets the mandated reporter’s obligation, i.e., child abuse.

I know a thing or two about this, I am a former prosecutor who filed hundreds of petitions to remove children or formally intervene with their families and I put plenty of child abusers in prison, too.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN ON THIS PLANET HAVE EXPERIENCED VIOLENCE.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN.

Sure, some of them live in places where there is ongoing conflict or war and that’s the violence they have experienced.

But far more of them have experienced violence at the hands of ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy.’ And yes, an adult screaming at a child on a regular basis as their routine parenting is ABUSE.

Emotional abuse is every bit as damaging - and longer lasting - than most physical abuse. Beyond that, most parents who cannot control themselves and resort to routinely screaming at their kids have also used physical force that is unacceptable and anyone who is that emotionally unstable has the potential to snap and hit a child with extreme force.

I don’t tolerate excusing this kind of ‘parenting’ which is not parenting at all.

I’ve been sick with a bad respiratory infection the last two weeks and I spent much of my time laid up watching the trial of Adam Montgomery, who lost his shit and punched his 5 year old daughter in the head for wetting her pants. She died, and he carried her body around for months before dismembering her and throwing her away like garbage.

I cannot fathom screaming at a child. It’s traumatizing to a child to be screamed at by the people upon whom they rely for basic survival. You think a child being screamed at doesn’t wonder what else that ‘parent’ might do?

Anyone who excuses this kind of sick breeder behavior needs their head examined. Shame on all of you who do it and think it’s okay.

CPS is not going ro investigate yelling. Give it a rest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: here - I won't give specific details but I will say that he does have a temper and gets angry and yells. I've been speaking to a therapist about marital and parenting problems hoping to get advice on how to improve things. What's frustrating is I'm not sure its helping and now I'm in a tough spot. My husband and I do not agree on how to discipline our child. He feels his way works but I feel like it's a bit severe. Now CPS is getting involved and I'm terrified.

CPS in MoCo doesn’t come unless blood is involved.
Our pediatrician called CPS after a bad accident very clearly due to my spouses negligence. It was a pattern. He has mental disorders he doesn’t manage.
They never came. Dr did give me a heads up first but also room temp if it would result in abuse or retaliation, as in I should get a protective order first.

FYI if you are aware of it or there yourself and do not report it, you too are an accomplice

[Anonymous]

If you're seriously scared of your husband then you shouldn't tell him. But this should be a wake up call that he's probably abusive. Even if he has played with your mind and got you confused about who's right or wrong (been there done that). You have to think about what's best for the child and do everything in your power to take care of your child in that best way. Maybe you and the child can go somewhere for a while like to your moms or a sibling? Tell your husband they have an emergency or something and get a new perspective on your life. You can do anything!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only OP knows what happened. CPS is often overzealous, especially when racial or cultural prejudices are in play.

OP needs to decide if DH is abusive or if therapist was on a power trip or ignorant.

Therapist has forced you to choose a side: DH or CPS.

Call a lawyer, and tell to people you really trust to figure out if you need to intervene between DH and the kids, or defend DH against persecution.

If DH is pushing boundaries he can come back from, be open and honest with him about that.

If a power tripping nanny state is attacking your family, you need to hold strong.

If DH is threatening your kids with violence, he needs to be temporarily separated from them before they get hurt and he goes to jail.

We can't know the facts. OP needs to figure it out, quickly.

I see slightly more nuance. My DH has grabbed our kid in ways I feel are too rough but not abusive per se. I have told my therapist about it, and I would not blame my therapist if they reported to CPS. I also would not defend my DH to CPS if it came to that. I absolutely do not think he deserves to lose access to his kids but I’m not going to lie about anything. I’d just tell the truth: “he grabbed DS’s arm to get him to sit down. I disagree with that physicality and intervened to make it stop. DH otherwise is a loving dad and has a good relationship. He’s never harmed DS.”

Grabbing an arm is not cps worthy.

Can you imagine? How do you stop a child from running into the street? Say “that’s a stop honey” in a neutral tone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While details would be helpful, I'd fire your therapist

Sounds like ditching the husband would be more appropriate if he’s committing reportable acts.

Therapist has a right and duty to report, but she broke patient confidence. I would never again trust him/her.

Any responsible therapist is going to break patience confidence after hearing evidence of CHILD ABUSE!

OP if you like your therapist you might as well stay with them, they are a responsible MANDATED REPORTER and they may be able to help you get your head out of you anus, stop being codependent and start protecting your child(ren) from CHILD ABUSE.

From what the OP had described, there was no abuse.

The OP is lying to us - if the therapist reported to CPS it was because OP disclosed something that meets the mandated reporter’s obligation, i.e., child abuse.

I know a thing or two about this, I am a former prosecutor who filed hundreds of petitions to remove children or formally intervene with their families and I put plenty of child abusers in prison, too.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN ON THIS PLANET HAVE EXPERIENCED VIOLENCE.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN.

Sure, some of them live in places where there is ongoing conflict or war and that’s the violence they have experienced.

But far more of them have experienced violence at the hands of ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy.’ And yes, an adult screaming at a child on a regular basis as their routine parenting is ABUSE.

Emotional abuse is every bit as damaging - and longer lasting - than most physical abuse. Beyond that, most parents who cannot control themselves and resort to routinely screaming at their kids have also used physical force that is unacceptable and anyone who is that emotionally unstable has the potential to snap and hit a child with extreme force.

I don’t tolerate excusing this kind of ‘parenting’ which is not parenting at all.

I’ve been sick with a bad respiratory infection the last two weeks and I spent much of my time laid up watching the trial of Adam Montgomery, who lost his shit and punched his 5 year old daughter in the head for wetting her pants. She died, and he carried her body around for months before dismembering her and throwing her away like garbage.

I cannot fathom screaming at a child. It’s traumatizing to a child to be screamed at by the people upon whom they rely for basic survival. You think a child being screamed at doesn’t wonder what else that ‘parent’ might do?

Anyone who excuses this kind of sick breeder behavior needs their head examined. Shame on all of you who do it and think it’s okay.

You had me until the screaming part.

All moms scream at their kids at one point or another, literally all of us. We do it because we repeat the same things nicely, quietly, over and over but our kids ignore us until we scream it. Boom! As soon as I scream something my kids listen. I don’t scream until I’ve repeated the same thing at least twenty times. “Johnny, it’s time to go practice piano.” Johnny’s watching tv or playing video games. “Come on Johnny, my love, it’s time for piano…..” It’d be the next morning before little Johnny stopped playing x-box and started playing the piano if I didn’t scream.

We all succumb to it eventually. It’s true for almost every nice mom I know. And if it’s not the mom. It’s the dad. Because kids like to ignore us when they don’t feel like listening.

I don’t believe that you have any experience with kids at all. You’re a liar and a judgmental dumb one at that. “Breeder behavior,” you’re kidding, right? You mean “parenting?”

Now I really trust prosecutors. Jeez…..

[Anonymous]

"My husband and I do not agree on how to discipline our child. He feels his way works but I feel like it's a bit severe."

I wonder what this means. I doubt it's just yelling. OP clearly doesnt want to give details, but it sounds like hes abusive and shes trying to cover his tracks now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While details would be helpful, I'd fire your therapist

Sounds like ditching the husband would be more appropriate if he’s committing reportable acts.

Therapist has a right and duty to report, but she broke patient confidence. I would never again trust him/her.

Any responsible therapist is going to break patience confidence after hearing evidence of CHILD ABUSE!

OP if you like your therapist you might as well stay with them, they are a responsible MANDATED REPORTER and they may be able to help you get your head out of you anus, stop being codependent and start protecting your child(ren) from CHILD ABUSE.

From what the OP had described, there was no abuse.

The OP is lying to us - if the therapist reported to CPS it was because OP disclosed something that meets the mandated reporter’s obligation, i.e., child abuse.

I know a thing or two about this, I am a former prosecutor who filed hundreds of petitions to remove children or formally intervene with their families and I put plenty of child abusers in prison, too.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN ON THIS PLANET HAVE EXPERIENCED VIOLENCE.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN.

Sure, some of them live in places where there is ongoing conflict or war and that’s the violence they have experienced.

But far more of them have experienced violence at the hands of ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy.’ And yes, an adult screaming at a child on a regular basis as their routine parenting is ABUSE.

Emotional abuse is every bit as damaging - and longer lasting - than most physical abuse. Beyond that, most parents who cannot control themselves and resort to routinely screaming at their kids have also used physical force that is unacceptable and anyone who is that emotionally unstable has the potential to snap and hit a child with extreme force.

I don’t tolerate excusing this kind of ‘parenting’ which is not parenting at all.

I’ve been sick with a bad respiratory infection the last two weeks and I spent much of my time laid up watching the trial of Adam Montgomery, who lost his shit and punched his 5 year old daughter in the head for wetting her pants. She died, and he carried her body around for months before dismembering her and throwing her away like garbage.

I cannot fathom screaming at a child. It’s traumatizing to a child to be screamed at by the people upon whom they rely for basic survival. You think a child being screamed at doesn’t wonder what else that ‘parent’ might do?

Anyone who excuses this kind of sick breeder behavior needs their head examined. Shame on all of you who do it and think it’s okay.

You had me until the screaming part.

All moms scream at their kids at one point or another, literally all of us. We do it because we repeat the same things nicely, quietly, over and over but our kids ignore us until we scream it. Boom! As soon as I scream something my kids listen. I don’t scream until I’ve repeated the same thing at least twenty times. “Johnny, it’s time to go practice piano.” Johnny’s watching tv or playing video games. “Come on Johnny, my love, it’s time for piano…..” It’d be the next morning before little Johnny stopped playing x-box and started playing the piano if I didn’t scream.

We all succumb to it eventually. It’s true for almost every nice mom I know. And if it’s not the mom. It’s the dad. Because kids like to ignore us when they don’t feel like listening.

I don’t believe that you have any experience with kids at all. You’re a liar and a judgmental dumb one at that. “Breeder behavior,” you’re kidding, right? You mean “parenting?”

I have literally never screamed, yelled or even raised my voice at my children. My youngest is 14. I agree with pp that it is abusive. From a parenting perspective, when you argue with or raise your voice to your child, you diminish your authority. Plus, you have poor emotional regulation. I know teens are difficult, but that's when you need authority and a good record with them. I can't imagine yelling at a young child. Pp, you need to revise your statement because there are parents who absolutely do not yell at their kids.

[Anonymous]

OP, this is your sign that things are worse at home — and more damaging to your children — than you have yet understood.

Sometimes people get in deep without realizing how deep they are. It happens incrementally, so we normalize whatever is around us. But this is your sign that whatever it is, there is a strong chance it should not be normalized.

Talk to the therapist. Ask them to tell you the truth about what they see, and what they fear. Stay open to the possibility that they are correct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While details would be helpful, I'd fire your therapist

I would fire the husband.

For what? Falling prey to a malicious therapist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While details would be helpful, I'd fire your therapist

Sounds like ditching the husband would be more appropriate if he’s committing reportable acts.

Therapist has a right and duty to report, but she broke patient confidence. I would never again trust him/her.

Any responsible therapist is going to break patience confidence after hearing evidence of CHILD ABUSE!

OP if you like your therapist you might as well stay with them, they are a responsible MANDATED REPORTER and they may be able to help you get your head out of you anus, stop being codependent and start protecting your child(ren) from CHILD ABUSE.

From what the OP had described, there was no abuse.

The OP is lying to us - if the therapist reported to CPS it was because OP disclosed something that meets the mandated reporter’s obligation, i.e., child abuse.

I know a thing or two about this, I am a former prosecutor who filed hundreds of petitions to remove children or formally intervene with their families and I put plenty of child abusers in prison, too.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN ON THIS PLANET HAVE EXPERIENCED VIOLENCE.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN.

Sure, some of them live in places where there is ongoing conflict or war and that’s the violence they have experienced.

But far more of them have experienced violence at the hands of ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy.’ And yes, an adult screaming at a child on a regular basis as their routine parenting is ABUSE.

Emotional abuse is every bit as damaging - and longer lasting - than most physical abuse. Beyond that, most parents who cannot control themselves and resort to routinely screaming at their kids have also used physical force that is unacceptable and anyone who is that emotionally unstable has the potential to snap and hit a child with extreme force.

I don’t tolerate excusing this kind of ‘parenting’ which is not parenting at all.

I’ve been sick with a bad respiratory infection the last two weeks and I spent much of my time laid up watching the trial of Adam Montgomery, who lost his shit and punched his 5 year old daughter in the head for wetting her pants. She died, and he carried her body around for months before dismembering her and throwing her away like garbage.

I cannot fathom screaming at a child. It’s traumatizing to a child to be screamed at by the people upon whom they rely for basic survival. You think a child being screamed at doesn’t wonder what else that ‘parent’ might do?

Anyone who excuses this kind of sick breeder behavior needs their head examined. Shame on all of you who do it and think it’s okay.

You had me until the screaming part.

All moms scream at their kids at one point or another, literally all of us. We do it because we repeat the same things nicely, quietly, over and over but our kids ignore us until we scream it. Boom! As soon as I scream something my kids listen. I don’t scream until I’ve repeated the same thing at least twenty times. “Johnny, it’s time to go practice piano.” Johnny’s watching tv or playing video games. “Come on Johnny, my love, it’s time for piano…..” It’d be the next morning before little Johnny stopped playing x-box and started playing the piano if I didn’t scream.

We all succumb to it eventually. It’s true for almost every nice mom I know. And if it’s not the mom. It’s the dad. Because kids like to ignore us when they don’t feel like listening.

I don’t believe that you have any experience with kids at all. You’re a liar and a judgmental dumb one at that. “Breeder behavior,” you’re kidding, right? You mean “parenting?”

I have literally never screamed, yelled or even raised my voice at my children. My youngest is 14. I agree with pp that it is abusive. From a parenting perspective, when you argue with or raise your voice to your child, you diminish your authority. Plus, you have poor emotional regulation. I know teens are difficult, but that's when you need authority and a good record with them. I can't imagine yelling at a young child. Pp, you need to revise your statement because there are parents who absolutely do not yell at their kids.

I second this. I have never, ever, not once yelled at my kids or even raised my voice. It is entirely unnecessary to be a good parent. Shame on you for not having better skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While details would be helpful, I'd fire your therapist

Sounds like ditching the husband would be more appropriate if he’s committing reportable acts.

Therapist has a right and duty to report, but she broke patient confidence. I would never again trust him/her.

Any responsible therapist is going to break patience confidence after hearing evidence of CHILD ABUSE!

OP if you like your therapist you might as well stay with them, they are a responsible MANDATED REPORTER and they may be able to help you get your head out of you anus, stop being codependent and start protecting your child(ren) from CHILD ABUSE.

From what the OP had described, there was no abuse.

The OP is lying to us - if the therapist reported to CPS it was because OP disclosed something that meets the mandated reporter’s obligation, i.e., child abuse.

I know a thing or two about this, I am a former prosecutor who filed hundreds of petitions to remove children or formally intervene with their families and I put plenty of child abusers in prison, too.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN ON THIS PLANET HAVE EXPERIENCED VIOLENCE.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN.

Sure, some of them live in places where there is ongoing conflict or war and that’s the violence they have experienced.

But far more of them have experienced violence at the hands of ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy.’ And yes, an adult screaming at a child on a regular basis as their routine parenting is ABUSE.

Emotional abuse is every bit as damaging - and longer lasting - than most physical abuse. Beyond that, most parents who cannot control themselves and resort to routinely screaming at their kids have also used physical force that is unacceptable and anyone who is that emotionally unstable has the potential to snap and hit a child with extreme force.

I don’t tolerate excusing this kind of ‘parenting’ which is not parenting at all.

I’ve been sick with a bad respiratory infection the last two weeks and I spent much of my time laid up watching the trial of Adam Montgomery, who lost his shit and punched his 5 year old daughter in the head for wetting her pants. She died, and he carried her body around for months before dismembering her and throwing her away like garbage.

I cannot fathom screaming at a child. It’s traumatizing to a child to be screamed at by the people upon whom they rely for basic survival. You think a child being screamed at doesn’t wonder what else that ‘parent’ might do?

Anyone who excuses this kind of sick breeder behavior needs their head examined. Shame on all of you who do it and think it’s okay.

You had me until the screaming part.

All moms scream at their kids at one point or another, literally all of us. We do it because we repeat the same things nicely, quietly, over and over but our kids ignore us until we scream it. Boom! As soon as I scream something my kids listen. I don’t scream until I’ve repeated the same thing at least twenty times. “Johnny, it’s time to go practice piano.” Johnny’s watching tv or playing video games. “Come on Johnny, my love, it’s time for piano…..” It’d be the next morning before little Johnny stopped playing x-box and started playing the piano if I didn’t scream.

We all succumb to it eventually. It’s true for almost every nice mom I know. And if it’s not the mom. It’s the dad. Because kids like to ignore us when they don’t feel like listening.

I don’t believe that you have any experience with kids at all. You’re a liar and a judgmental dumb one at that. “Breeder behavior,” you’re kidding, right? You mean “parenting?”

I have literally never screamed, yelled or even raised my voice at my children. My youngest is 14. I agree with pp that it is abusive. From a parenting perspective, when you argue with or raise your voice to your child, you diminish your authority. Plus, you have poor emotional regulation. I know teens are difficult, but that's when you need authority and a good record with them. I can't imagine yelling at a young child. Pp, you need to revise your statement because there are parents who absolutely do not yell at their kids.

I second this. I have never, ever, not once yelled at my kids or even raised my voice. It is entirely unnecessary to be a good parent. Shame on you for not having better skills.

+1. I don't yell at my kids. My Mom yelled at me when I was growing up. Even though I know she loved me and was a good parent in other ways, the yelling damaged me. It made me vulnerable to adult abusive relationships because I thought being yelled at was normal when someone was angry.

Ask your husband to go to parenting class like the Parent Engagement Program with you so you guys can learn about other parenting approaches and try to decide on a common approach.

Also consider whether he has some issues that make him so poor at emotional regulating himself - family of origin? ADHD? anxiety? depression?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While details would be helpful, I'd fire your therapist

Sounds like ditching the husband would be more appropriate if he’s committing reportable acts.

Therapist has a right and duty to report, but she broke patient confidence. I would never again trust him/her.

Any responsible therapist is going to break patience confidence after hearing evidence of CHILD ABUSE!

OP if you like your therapist you might as well stay with them, they are a responsible MANDATED REPORTER and they may be able to help you get your head out of you anus, stop being codependent and start protecting your child(ren) from CHILD ABUSE.

From what the OP had described, there was no abuse.

The OP is lying to us - if the therapist reported to CPS it was because OP disclosed something that meets the mandated reporter’s obligation, i.e., child abuse.

I know a thing or two about this, I am a former prosecutor who filed hundreds of petitions to remove children or formally intervene with their families and I put plenty of child abusers in prison, too.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN ON THIS PLANET HAVE EXPERIENCED VIOLENCE.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN.

Sure, some of them live in places where there is ongoing conflict or war and that’s the violence they have experienced.

But far more of them have experienced violence at the hands of ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy.’ And yes, an adult screaming at a child on a regular basis as their routine parenting is ABUSE.

Emotional abuse is every bit as damaging - and longer lasting - than most physical abuse. Beyond that, most parents who cannot control themselves and resort to routinely screaming at their kids have also used physical force that is unacceptable and anyone who is that emotionally unstable has the potential to snap and hit a child with extreme force.

I don’t tolerate excusing this kind of ‘parenting’ which is not parenting at all.

I’ve been sick with a bad respiratory infection the last two weeks and I spent much of my time laid up watching the trial of Adam Montgomery, who lost his shit and punched his 5 year old daughter in the head for wetting her pants. She died, and he carried her body around for months before dismembering her and throwing her away like garbage.

I cannot fathom screaming at a child. It’s traumatizing to a child to be screamed at by the people upon whom they rely for basic survival. You think a child being screamed at doesn’t wonder what else that ‘parent’ might do?

Anyone who excuses this kind of sick breeder behavior needs their head examined. Shame on all of you who do it and think it’s okay.

You had me until the screaming part.

All moms scream at their kids at one point or another, literally all of us. We do it because we repeat the same things nicely, quietly, over and over but our kids ignore us until we scream it. Boom! As soon as I scream something my kids listen. I don’t scream until I’ve repeated the same thing at least twenty times. “Johnny, it’s time to go practice piano.” Johnny’s watching tv or playing video games. “Come on Johnny, my love, it’s time for piano…..” It’d be the next morning before little Johnny stopped playing x-box and started playing the piano if I didn’t scream.

We all succumb to it eventually. It’s true for almost every nice mom I know. And if it’s not the mom. It’s the dad. Because kids like to ignore us when they don’t feel like listening.

I don’t believe that you have any experience with kids at all. You’re a liar and a judgmental dumb one at that. “Breeder behavior,” you’re kidding, right? You mean “parenting?”

I have literally never screamed, yelled or even raised my voice at my children. My youngest is 14. I agree with pp that it is abusive. From a parenting perspective, when you argue with or raise your voice to your child, you diminish your authority. Plus, you have poor emotional regulation. I know teens are difficult, but that's when you need authority and a good record with them. I can't imagine yelling at a young child. Pp, you need to revise your statement because there are parents who absolutely do not yell at their kids.

I second this. I have never, ever, not once yelled at my kids or even raised my voice. It is entirely unnecessary to be a good parent. Shame on you for not having better skills.

Either your children are incredibly naturally well-behaved, or they are absolute nightmares to those around them. Unfortunately, in the former case, they have a good chance of being practically non-functional with anxiety as adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: here - I won't give specific details but I will say that he does have a temper and gets angry and yells. I've been speaking to a therapist about marital and parenting problems hoping to get advice on how to improve things. What's frustrating is I'm not sure its helping and now I'm in a tough spot. My husband and I do not agree on how to discipline our child. He feels his way works but I feel like it's a bit severe. Now CPS is getting involved and I'm terrified.

Well, you're going to lose either your kids or your husband. If these are reportable incidents you are complicit in not protecting your child, which makes you a child abuser too, by neglect.