Post Halloween question about costume appropriateness

[Anonymous]

I have one PK and one 1st grade student in a public school this year. There was a school-sponsored Halloween event a few days before the holiday where the whole school was invited. Two or three kids in older grades wore grotesque and scary masks. They were so inappropriate that my 4 year old screamed for her life and came shaking and crying into my arms and we basically has to hide from the kids the whole time and left early. Now, she's sensitive, but she's definitely in the range of normal. Am I totally unreasonable to expect parents to set limits on what their kids can wear to school events where they know the pre-K kids will be present? Why would any parent think it's okay to let their kid wear a mask that I find creepy? Now, on Halloween out on your own, wear whatever you want. That's the hazard of the holiday, but I have a hard time believing I'll totally forget that 3, 4, 5, and 6 year olds can be really spooked by bloody zombie freaky masks. It's so antisocial.

[Anonymous]

Yes, your expectation is unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, your expectation is unreasonable.

Okay, so if that's true, we'll just skip the school event for the foreseeable future. But do you think the teachers or principal have a responsibility to let us know that this is really an event for older kids? I know my child wasn't the only one who was disturbed and had to leave early.

[Anonymous]

In public school, probably unreasonable. In my child's private school, there were restrictions on costumes.

[Anonymous]

Better get used to them, OP.

Our old preschool lines up every year to watch the nearby elementary school parade for Halloween. There are ALWAYS scary, bloody and gory get-ups and I have yet to see a kid scream for his life or express any kind of fear.

Note that I've observed this every year for 6 years! The 4 and 5 years old from preschool squeal with glee and clap their hands at every costume, even when the "big kids" come around with zombie and werewolves masks, axes through their exposed brains, etc.

[Anonymous]

Where you aware that the entire school was invited?

[Anonymous]

You are totally unreasonable. My DD has always loved fake blood and gore and by age 3 knew a mask was fake and pretend. She would double-check about well done makeup made to look like blood or zippers on a face.

[Anonymous]

I am pretty sure our school had a no scary/grotesque mask policy for ES but I don't know how it applied to, say, a halloween festival held on school grounds on the weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, your expectation is unreasonable.

Okay, so if that's true, we'll just skip the school event for the foreseeable future. But do you think the teachers or principal have a responsibility to let us know that this is really an event for older kids? I know my child wasn't the only one who was disturbed and had to leave early.

I don't think your expectation is unreasonable at all! I know I'm going to sound like an ass, but I think any quality school would monitor this and prohibit anything gross or nasty, keeping the event family friendly.

[Anonymous]

Were the parents there? It's quite possible, and highly likely, that the parents didn't realize their kuds would wear those masks to school or that they'd be around the little kids. Some parents are more... disconnected than others (or less helicoptery, if you prefer).

When we were out TorT last night, there were a few super scary costumes and houses. My son was really scared a few times. Was there some reason you couldn't just stay away? What kind of event was it that the 4 year olds were combined with the older kids?

I don't completely think you're out of line. You could totally ask the principal about it, maybe point out that littlest kids were scared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Better get used to them, OP.

Our old preschool lines up every year to watch the nearby elementary school parade for Halloween. There are ALWAYS scary, bloody and gory get-ups and I have yet to see a kid scream for his life or express any kind of fear.

Note that I've observed this every year for 6 years! The 4 and 5 years old from preschool squeal with glee and clap their hands at every costume, even when the "big kids" come around with zombie and werewolves masks, axes through their exposed brains, etc.

Good for you. But 3 parents of classmates told me the same thing. I have a hard time believing a 4 year old would think this mask was gleeful.

[Anonymous]

You think a public school should monitor costumes? Unreasonable. Parents will purchase/make one costume and that is the one the child chooses. Many older elem kids want to wear scary costumes. If your child can't handle it yet, you should stay away from that and all Halloween parties that are not geared for preschoolers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Were the parents there? It's quite possible, and highly likely, that the parents didn't realize their kuds would wear those masks to school or that they'd be around the little kids. Some parents are more... disconnected than others (or less helicoptery, if you prefer).

When we were out TorT last night, there were a few super scary costumes and houses. My son was really scared a few times. Was there some reason you couldn't just stay away? What kind of event was it that the 4 year olds were combined with the older kids?

I don't completely think you're out of line. You could totally ask the principal about it, maybe point out that littlest kids were scared.

Well for TorT, all bets or off. If we're scared we stay home. But my child wanted to attend the party at school. We couldn't stay away because the area wasn't very large and the kids kept running by.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You think a public school should monitor costumes? Unreasonable. Parents will purchase/make one costume and that is the one the child chooses. Many older elem kids want to wear scary costumes. If your child can't handle it yet, you should stay away from that and all Halloween parties that are not geared for preschoolers.

No, I think parents should try to not be antisocial members of their community. And yes, thank you, we will be staying away from the school-wide party that was supposed to be for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Better get used to them, OP.

Our old preschool lines up every year to watch the nearby elementary school parade for Halloween. There are ALWAYS scary, bloody and gory get-ups and I have yet to see a kid scream for his life or express any kind of fear.

Note that I've observed this every year for 6 years! The 4 and 5 years old from preschool squeal with glee and clap their hands at every costume, even when the "big kids" come around with zombie and werewolves masks, axes through their exposed brains, etc.

Good for you. But 3 parents of classmates told me the same thing. I have a hard time believing a 4 year old would think this mask was gleeful.

Why would a 4 year old trump a 10 year old when it's a school event? Why would you even presume that everyone else should adapt for your child's comfort?