Need divorce lawyer rec - divorcing an aggressive litigator

[Anonymous]

And I am very scared of how it will go.
I work FT but make much less money. I am the default parent and do 90% of the kid and household things.
But he will absolutely fight for joint custody. Just because he can.
Who best to hire for this?

[Anonymous]

Where are you?

[Anonymous]

Wishing you the very best in this. Fighting the fear is the worst of it. I'd pay attention to who you get as a judge. This may make a difference. Some may see the power difference and be watchful for any bullying. I've seen judges elicit information from a non-lawyer when confronting someone who has a high-caliber attorney on their side, just to even things out. If he's aggressive, there's a chance that the judge may check him a bit.

Is there anyone in his network you could get a referral from? They know him and may be able to identify someone his league to assist you. They may be sympathetic to you as well, knowing him for the bully he is.

[Anonymous]

So very sorry this is happening. Are you in a position to spend on an aggressive attorney who can match your STBX?

If you can stomach it, you might want to pursue a strategic divorce. For a friend with an attorney EX, this was a 10 year process. It sounds awful, but she was able to continue living in the marital home, have her kids 80% of the time, and go back to school. He moved out but paid the mortgage, took the kids occasionally, and was able to maintain his image as the great family man.

They filed an amicable divorce when the youngest graduated from high school. No custody battles, no CS issues. She met a nice man a few months later and they are engaged.

[Anonymous]

Robert Liotta. He is known in DC Superior Court to care about his clients and work hard on their behalf.

[Anonymous]

I highly recommend Cheryl New and Jeff Lowinger at New and Lowinger in Bethesda. Cheryl will help you avoid making costly mistakes in dealing with your lawyer husband. Jeff is skilled at the finance issues.

You need someone who is able to do the complex work of valuing your husband's business (if he has his own law firm).

You can ask for your ex to pay your legal fees. Talk to the lawyer about whether this would be possible in your case.

Cheryl and Jeff charge a lot, but they are very fair about billable hours. They ended up doing far more work at a much lower total cost than the first lawyer that I used and had to fire. The first lawyer charged less per hour, but she billed for lots of hours that she did not work. I should have sued her for malpractice, but I didn't have it in me at that time.

[Anonymous]

It is highly unlikely that either of you would be awarded anything other than joint custody. Even though you do most of the parenting duties, the court is unlikely to take away custody privileges for your husband. You would have to prove he is an unfit parent and the burden for that is extremely high.

You will probably the custodial parent if you have the kids more of the time than your ex, but that doesn't really mean much.

I recommend writing into your divorce agreement an automatic change in child support if your husband does not live up to the custody agreement. Lots of men seek joint 50/50 custody so that they won't have to pay as much child support. Then, they gradually cut way back on seeing the kids -- but they don't increase your child support.

I wish I had something automatically written in to the agreement. My ex sought 50/50 custody, but now only sees our child two days per month. In order to change the child support order, I would have to go back to court.

[Anonymous]

You do not stand a snowball's chance in hell

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is highly unlikely that either of you would be awarded anything other than joint custody. Even though you do most of the parenting duties, the court is unlikely to take away custody privileges for your husband. You would have to prove he is an unfit parent and the burden for that is extremely high.

You will probably the custodial parent if you have the kids more of the time than your ex, but that doesn't really mean much.

I recommend writing into your divorce agreement an automatic change in child support if your husband does not live up to the custody agreement. Lots of men seek joint 50/50 custody so that they won't have to pay as much child support. Then, they gradually cut way back on seeing the kids -- but they don't increase your child support.

I wish I had something automatically written in to the agreement. My ex sought 50/50 custody, but now only sees our child two days per month. In order to change the child support order, I would have to go back to court.

Is this automatic change legally enforceable? My ex got an increase based on just over the limit between primary and shared. Since that change, he has seen DC 1/3 less. Would the court support reviewing CS three times a year based on evidence of how much time was actual used? Because that seems like a huge expense for the State.

[Anonymous]

I need a Virginia recommendation.

[Anonymous]

Why would you expect that he WOULDN'T fight for joint custody? He's still their parent.

[Anonymous]

I used Robert Liotta, he's a one-man shop so it was kind of slow going, but he was compassionate. We didn't go to court.

[Anonymous]

Adding to my 21:23 post: Liotta is in DC. Fees were quite reasonable, but he got me to farm out the financial part. Overall a reasonably good experience.

[Anonymous]

OP, jut because you “do” 90 percent doesn’t actually mean your kids don’t need both parents. They’re not “yours”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do not stand a snowball's chance in hell

I beg to differ. I clerked in family court, and we had a case where the attorney spouse was pulling all kinds of crap. My judge was quite aware of what was going on, and ruled accordingly.