Bad parking thread

[Anonymous]

Jeff, what happened to the thread by the OP who was criticized about her bad parking job? Did it take an ugly turn?

[jsteele]

The OP asked that it be removed. I was out this morning and by the time I saw it, the thread was many pages -- can't remember exactly but want to say 15 or so (maybe not that much). I didn't bother to read it, but I imagine something was up to generate that many responses.

[Anonymous]

It went south from the first response. Honestly, to me it was all that is bad about DCUM. There's a lot of great here, but when a poster is obviously hurting, and the first response is unsympathetic and it just gets worse from there, well that's when I start thinking I need to step back from this place.

If the original op happens to read this, I just want to offer some condolences and hugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It went south from the first response. Honestly, to me it was all that is bad about DCUM. There's a lot of great here, but when a poster is obviously hurting, and the first response is unsympathetic and it just gets worse from there, well that's when I start thinking I need to step back from this place.

If the original op happens to read this, I just want to offer some condolences and hugs.

Huh, I thought it was a lot of fun, and I suspected OP wasn't for real. I left at about page 7 though.

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:It went south from the first response. Honestly, to me it was all that is bad about DCUM. There's a lot of great here, but when a poster is obviously hurting, and the first response is unsympathetic and it just gets worse from there, well that's when I start thinking I need to step back from this place.

If the original op happens to read this, I just want to offer some condolences and hugs.

I call that "Mean First Response Syndrome" and absolutely hate it. If you ever see a first response that is going to immediately turn a thread negative, please report it. It probably wouldn't have matter this morning because I was in a dead zone with no network access. But, when I am able, I love catching those posts early and removing them.

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It went south from the first response. Honestly, to me it was all that is bad about DCUM. There's a lot of great here, but when a poster is obviously hurting, and the first response is unsympathetic and it just gets worse from there, well that's when I start thinking I need to step back from this place.

If the original op happens to read this, I just want to offer some condolences and hugs.

I call that "Mean First Response Syndrome" and absolutely hate it. If you ever see a first response that is going to immediately turn a thread negative, please report it. It probably wouldn't have matter this morning because I was in a dead zone with no network access. But, when I am able, I love catching those posts early and removing them.

Why don't other posters have a right to respond honestly? I don't know what happened to the thread after page 7 but up to then, there was nothing terrible about it other than posters who didn't get on board with the OP. I don't know what's wrong with that. It's the chance you take when you post on a public forum. Not everyone is going to agree with an OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It went south from the first response. Honestly, to me it was all that is bad about DCUM. There's a lot of great here, but when a poster is obviously hurting, and the first response is unsympathetic and it just gets worse from there, well that's when I start thinking I need to step back from this place.

If the original op happens to read this, I just want to offer some condolences and hugs.

Huh, I thought it was a lot of fun, and I suspected OP wasn't for real. I left at about page 7 though.

Then you're disgusting and everything I hate about coming here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It went south from the first response. Honestly, to me it was all that is bad about DCUM. There's a lot of great here, but when a poster is obviously hurting, and the first response is unsympathetic and it just gets worse from there, well that's when I start thinking I need to step back from this place.

If the original op happens to read this, I just want to offer some condolences and hugs.

Huh, I thought it was a lot of fun, and I suspected OP wasn't for real. I left at about page 7 though.

Then you're disgusting and everything I hate about coming here.

Wow, that's really harsh. Maybe you really shouldn't be coming here.

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It went south from the first response. Honestly, to me it was all that is bad about DCUM. There's a lot of great here, but when a poster is obviously hurting, and the first response is unsympathetic and it just gets worse from there, well that's when I start thinking I need to step back from this place.

If the original op happens to read this, I just want to offer some condolences and hugs.

I call that "Mean First Response Syndrome" and absolutely hate it. If you ever see a first response that is going to immediately turn a thread negative, please report it. It probably wouldn't have matter this morning because I was in a dead zone with no network access. But, when I am able, I love catching those posts early and removing them.

Why don't other posters have a right to respond honestly? I don't know what happened to the thread after page 7 but up to then, there was nothing terrible about it other than posters who didn't get on board with the OP. I don't know what's wrong with that. It's the chance you take when you post on a public forum. Not everyone is going to agree with an OP.

Why would someone want to post if they will only get attacked? Even if you disagree, you can do it in a polite manner. I actually did see the first response in this case and while I didn't memorize it, it was something like "sorry about your mom dying but you should have parked better". I would say that is the sort of thing that should be thought, but not said. But, in this case I don't think any normal person should even think it. Many posters here fixate on some theoretical version of communication and forget that there are actually real people with real emotions here. Sure, in theory, you can and should be honest even if that means disagreeing. But, in reality, of someone's mother has just died, you cut them some slack.

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It went south from the first response. Honestly, to me it was all that is bad about DCUM. There's a lot of great here, but when a poster is obviously hurting, and the first response is unsympathetic and it just gets worse from there, well that's when I start thinking I need to step back from this place.

If the original op happens to read this, I just want to offer some condolences and hugs.

I call that "Mean First Response Syndrome" and absolutely hate it. If you ever see a first response that is going to immediately turn a thread negative, please report it. It probably wouldn't have matter this morning because I was in a dead zone with no network access. But, when I am able, I love catching those posts early and removing them.

Why don't other posters have a right to respond honestly? I don't know what happened to the thread after page 7 but up to then, there was nothing terrible about it other than posters who didn't get on board with the OP. I don't know what's wrong with that. It's the chance you take when you post on a public forum. Not everyone is going to agree with an OP.

Why would someone want to post if they will only get attacked? Even if you disagree, you can do it in a polite manner. I actually did see the first response in this case and while I didn't memorize it, it was something like "sorry about your mom dying but you should have parked better". I would say that is the sort of thing that should be thought, but not said. But, in this case I don't think any normal person should even think it. Many posters here fixate on some theoretical version of communication and forget that there are actually real people with real emotions here. Sure, in theory, you can and should be honest even if that means disagreeing. But, in reality, of someone's mother has just died, you cut them some slack.

I was one of the posters who also said she should have parked correctly -- and added that it was something I would think but never say out loud. I don't think it was being mean. The next 7 pages were light-hearted, funny exchanges between posters about people who don't park correctly and did not even involve the OP. I don't know what happened after that but what I wrote certainly did not warrant responses like 18:22's. If someone is in a raw emotional state, they should not open themselves up on a public forum.

Honestly I'm surprised the OP was not a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It went south from the first response. Honestly, to me it was all that is bad about DCUM. There's a lot of great here, but when a poster is obviously hurting, and the first response is unsympathetic and it just gets worse from there, well that's when I start thinking I need to step back from this place.

If the original op happens to read this, I just want to offer some condolences and hugs.

Huh, I thought it was a lot of fun, and I suspected OP wasn't for real. I left at about page 7 though.

Then you're disgusting and everything I hate about coming here.

Wow, that's really harsh. Maybe you really shouldn't be coming here.

Oooo - someone was harsh and you're offended. Wah-wah. Maybe have as much sympathy for a poster who lost her mother as you do for yourself, a-hole.

Don't dish out what you can't take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It went south from the first response. Honestly, to me it was all that is bad about DCUM. There's a lot of great here, but when a poster is obviously hurting, and the first response is unsympathetic and it just gets worse from there, well that's when I start thinking I need to step back from this place.

If the original op happens to read this, I just want to offer some condolences and hugs.

Huh, I thought it was a lot of fun, and I suspected OP wasn't for real. I left at about page 7 though.

Then you're disgusting and everything I hate about coming here.

Wow, that's really harsh. Maybe you really shouldn't be coming here.

Oooo - someone was harsh and you're offended. Wah-wah. Maybe have as much sympathy for a poster who lost her mother as you do for yourself, a-hole.

Don't dish out what you can't take.

You have no idea what I posted on that thread. I can tell you, though, it came nowhere close to the hatred and anger you are spewing right here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It went south from the first response. Honestly, to me it was all that is bad about DCUM. There's a lot of great here, but when a poster is obviously hurting, and the first response is unsympathetic and it just gets worse from there, well that's when I start thinking I need to step back from this place.

If the original op happens to read this, I just want to offer some condolences and hugs.

I call that "Mean First Response Syndrome" and absolutely hate it. If you ever see a first response that is going to immediately turn a thread negative, please report it. It probably wouldn't have matter this morning because I was in a dead zone with no network access. But, when I am able, I love catching those posts early and removing them.

Why don't other posters have a right to respond honestly? I don't know what happened to the thread after page 7 but up to then, there was nothing terrible about it other than posters who didn't get on board with the OP. I don't know what's wrong with that. It's the chance you take when you post on a public forum. Not everyone is going to agree with an OP.

Why would someone want to post if they will only get attacked? Even if you disagree, you can do it in a polite manner. I actually did see the first response in this case and while I didn't memorize it, it was something like "sorry about your mom dying but you should have parked better". I would say that is the sort of thing that should be thought, but not said. But, in this case I don't think any normal person should even think it. Many posters here fixate on some theoretical version of communication and forget that there are actually real people with real emotions here. Sure, in theory, you can and should be honest even if that means disagreeing. But, in reality, of someone's mother has just died, you cut them some slack.

I was one of the posters who also said she should have parked correctly -- and added that it was something I would think but never say out loud. I don't think it was being mean. The next 7 pages were light-hearted, funny exchanges between posters about people who don't park correctly and did not even involve the OP. I don't know what happened after that but what I wrote certainly did not warrant responses like 18:22's. If someone is in a raw emotional state, they should not open themselves up on a public forum.

Honestly I'm surprised the OP was not a troll.

But...you did say it "out loud", to the OP, who was obviously reading the thread. Who cares if someone doesn't park perfectly in a huge grocery store parking lot? OP had just found out her mom died! Why go out of your way to be an asshole?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It went south from the first response. Honestly, to me it was all that is bad about DCUM. There's a lot of great here, but when a poster is obviously hurting, and the first response is unsympathetic and it just gets worse from there, well that's when I start thinking I need to step back from this place.

If the original op happens to read this, I just want to offer some condolences and hugs.

Huh, I thought it was a lot of fun, and I suspected OP wasn't for real. I left at about page 7 though.

Then you're disgusting and everything I hate about coming here.

Wow, that's really harsh. Maybe you really shouldn't be coming here.

Oooo - someone was harsh and you're offended. Wah-wah. Maybe have as much sympathy for a poster who lost her mother as you do for yourself, a-hole.

Don't dish out what you can't take.

You have no idea what I posted on that thread. I can tell you, though, it came nowhere close to the hatred and anger you are spewing right here.

"I thought it was a lot of fun". That's what you posted here. The op's mother died. The person on the other end of the thread deserved sympathy, not your opinion on her parking. There was a person on the other side, hoping for a kind word. You thought it was "fun" to discuss the merits of her parking instead of offering sympathy and condolonces. I know what it's like to lose a mother. If you find my words stinging, imagine how OP felt on reading that thread on what was probably one of the worst days of her life. Let that sink in for a minute. I don't need an apology, but op deserves one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It went south from the first response. Honestly, to me it was all that is bad about DCUM. There's a lot of great here, but when a poster is obviously hurting, and the first response is unsympathetic and it just gets worse from there, well that's when I start thinking I need to step back from this place.

If the original op happens to read this, I just want to offer some condolences and hugs.

Huh, I thought it was a lot of fun, and I suspected OP wasn't for real. I left at about page 7 though.

Then you're disgusting and everything I hate about coming here.

Wow, that's really harsh. Maybe you really shouldn't be coming here.

Oooo - someone was harsh and you're offended. Wah-wah. Maybe have as much sympathy for a poster who lost her mother as you do for yourself, a-hole.

Don't dish out what you can't take.

You have no idea what I posted on that thread. I can tell you, though, it came nowhere close to the hatred and anger you are spewing right here.

"I thought it was a lot of fun". That's what you posted here. The op's mother died. The person on the other end of the thread deserved sympathy, not your opinion on her parking. There was a person on the other side, hoping for a kind word. You thought it was "fun" to discuss the merits of her parking instead of offering sympathy and condolonces. I know what it's like to lose a mother. If you find my words stinging, imagine how OP felt on reading that thread on what was probably one of the worst days of her life. Let that sink in for a minute. I don't need an apology, but op deserves one.

I didn't post any of that. I wasn't having fun discussing the merits of her parking -- I had a fun cross-conversation with another poster that involved a drawer in my bathroom filled with mismatched lipstick. Get a grip on yourself.