Mom Cliques. I had no idea.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Regardless of what the full details of the scenario actually were, it boils down to this:

If your first reaction was judgment rather than empathy, or at least sympathy, you are a part of the "Mean Girl" stereotype.

I understand that some PPs were rude in their delivery, but why wouldn't it make OP feel BETTER, not worse, to know that the majority of those hearing about this encounter, including Jeff, do NOT think these women were a clique, mean, or exclusionary?

But a few were really rabid about it, created massive analyses about OP’s character and experience.

Probably because of OP’s delivery! LMAO! They felt soo awkward about it! Bus stop will be INTERESTING! Emoji!
Why so brash? And how can OP know how they felt? What sane person would text a follow up?

I mean, I hope OP is trolling, or maybe had the experience but is being tongue in cheek, but ugh.

The irony of you drawing all kinds of conclusions about OP based on word choice in a brief DCUM post, but then claiming that OP could not possibly intuit whether there was an awkward vibe based on an in person interaction with women she knows/has met before. You and so many others are acting like you know everything about OP's character based on a few posts here, but when she says "they looked uber awkward" you're freaking out and saying she couldn't possibly KNOW that and what is her evidence.

No. I'm permitted to bring both common sense and my life experiences to interpret OP's or any other post. All signs point to OP being socially inept and immature and her therefore misinterpreting the situation and/or creating the awkwardness herself.

(Also, even if there was some palpable awkwardness it still does not mean these women are a clique or that OP was excluded.)

You are filtering very little info through your own biases. And if you are defending being unkind on the internet and tearing down OP because you deem her immature or socially inept, well, perhaps you should look in the mirror. Mean and immature on your part.

DP. I’ve read and reread the OP at least 5 times now, trying really hard to understand what some of you are trying to defend, and each time she sounds worse and worse. She might be a lovely person in real life and is just not good at relaying a story, but as far as this thread goes, her choice of words just don’t make a great case for her. If that makes me mean and immature, so be it.

We aren't trying to "defend" OP so much as ask that if you have helpful advice for someone you think is struggling socially, why can you not relay that in a kinder manner. Some of the posts on this thread are harsh and unnecessary. Just because it's anonymous you unload?

And some of you are really making some assumptions that seem...overstepping. That is all.

But OP didn’t ask for advice. She came out swinging, with that stupid green emoji and ALL CAPS and four ????s in a row. If the responses seemed harsh, they were just responding in kind.

Absolutely not. Swinging? More like joking. And if she didn't ask for advice, and rather to share stories, why are you handing down the tough love BS?

Give me a break. Whatever you think the OP is, you are worse.

Oh. Well, I don’t think she’s funny. And her story was weak. If I’m worse, so be it. I won’t be meeting any of you for lunch anytime soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of what the full details of the scenario actually were, it boils down to this:

If your first reaction was judgment rather than empathy, or at least sympathy, you are a part of the "Mean Girl" stereotype.

I understand that some PPs were rude in their delivery, but why wouldn't it make OP feel BETTER, not worse, to know that the majority of those hearing about this encounter, including Jeff, do NOT think these women were a clique, mean, or exclusionary?

But a few were really rabid about it, created massive analyses about OP’s character and experience.

Probably because of OP’s delivery! LMAO! They felt soo awkward about it! Bus stop will be INTERESTING! Emoji!
Why so brash? And how can OP know how they felt? What sane person would text a follow up?

I mean, I hope OP is trolling, or maybe had the experience but is being tongue in cheek, but ugh.

The irony of you drawing all kinds of conclusions about OP based on word choice in a brief DCUM post, but then claiming that OP could not possibly intuit whether there was an awkward vibe based on an in person interaction with women she knows/has met before. You and so many others are acting like you know everything about OP's character based on a few posts here, but when she says "they looked uber awkward" you're freaking out and saying she couldn't possibly KNOW that and what is her evidence.

No. I'm permitted to bring both common sense and my life experiences to interpret OP's or any other post. All signs point to OP being socially inept and immature and her therefore misinterpreting the situation and/or creating the awkwardness herself.

(Also, even if there was some palpable awkwardness it still does not mean these women are a clique or that OP was excluded.)

You are filtering very little info through your own biases. And if you are defending being unkind on the internet and tearing down OP because you deem her immature or socially inept, well, perhaps you should look in the mirror. Mean and immature on your part.

DP. I’ve read and reread the OP at least 5 times now, trying really hard to understand what some of you are trying to defend, and each time she sounds worse and worse. She might be a lovely person in real life and is just not good at relaying a story, but as far as this thread goes, her choice of words just don’t make a great case for her. If that makes me mean and immature, so be it.

We aren't trying to "defend" OP so much as ask that if you have helpful advice for someone you think is struggling socially, why can you not relay that in a kinder manner. Some of the posts on this thread are harsh and unnecessary. Just because it's anonymous you unload?

And some of you are really making some assumptions that seem...overstepping. That is all.

But OP didn’t ask for advice. She came out swinging, with that stupid green emoji and ALL CAPS and four ????s in a row. If the responses seemed harsh, they were just responding in kind.

The mom organizing the clique has re-entered the chat.

DP. Since when is a group of women convening automatically a clique? Ciique has lost all meaning at this point. It's all or nothing I guess.

Well if a group of women socialize they are apparently now a clique and doing something wrong by not inviting everyone they know in their contacts list.

What is the end game here? To prevent women from getting together?

You people are off the chain. Good Lord.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of what the full details of the scenario actually were, it boils down to this:

If your first reaction was judgment rather than empathy, or at least sympathy, you are a part of the "Mean Girl" stereotype.

I understand that some PPs were rude in their delivery, but why wouldn't it make OP feel BETTER, not worse, to know that the majority of those hearing about this encounter, including Jeff, do NOT think these women were a clique, mean, or exclusionary?

But a few were really rabid about it, created massive analyses about OP’s character and experience.

Probably because of OP’s delivery! LMAO! They felt soo awkward about it! Bus stop will be INTERESTING! Emoji!
Why so brash? And how can OP know how they felt? What sane person would text a follow up?

I mean, I hope OP is trolling, or maybe had the experience but is being tongue in cheek, but ugh.

The irony of you drawing all kinds of conclusions about OP based on word choice in a brief DCUM post, but then claiming that OP could not possibly intuit whether there was an awkward vibe based on an in person interaction with women she knows/has met before. You and so many others are acting like you know everything about OP's character based on a few posts here, but when she says "they looked uber awkward" you're freaking out and saying she couldn't possibly KNOW that and what is her evidence.

No. I'm permitted to bring both common sense and my life experiences to interpret OP's or any other post. All signs point to OP being socially inept and immature and her therefore misinterpreting the situation and/or creating the awkwardness herself.

(Also, even if there was some palpable awkwardness it still does not mean these women are a clique or that OP was excluded.)

You are filtering very little info through your own biases. And if you are defending being unkind on the internet and tearing down OP because you deem her immature or socially inept, well, perhaps you should look in the mirror. Mean and immature on your part.

DP. I’ve read and reread the OP at least 5 times now, trying really hard to understand what some of you are trying to defend, and each time she sounds worse and worse. She might be a lovely person in real life and is just not good at relaying a story, but as far as this thread goes, her choice of words just don’t make a great case for her. If that makes me mean and immature, so be it.

We aren't trying to "defend" OP so much as ask that if you have helpful advice for someone you think is struggling socially, why can you not relay that in a kinder manner. Some of the posts on this thread are harsh and unnecessary. Just because it's anonymous you unload?

And some of you are really making some assumptions that seem...overstepping. That is all.

But OP didn’t ask for advice. She came out swinging, with that stupid green emoji and ALL CAPS and four ????s in a row. If the responses seemed harsh, they were just responding in kind.

Absolutely not. Swinging? More like joking. And if she didn't ask for advice, and rather to share stories, why are you handing down the tough love BS?

Give me a break. Whatever you think the OP is, you are worse.

Oh. Well, I don’t think she’s funny. And her story was weak. If I’m worse, so be it. I won’t be meeting any of you for lunch anytime soon.

Thank God.

[Anonymous]

36 pages because adults have friends and don’t invite the whole class to their birthday party?

I don’t understand how a group of people OP knows getting together socially without inviting her makes it a clique. A clique would be if they stood in a circle at the bus stop and excluded OP by ignoring her or if they all openly make plans together at the bus stop and purposely don’t include OP.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote: Ran into about 15 or so moms from our elementary school having wine and apps at a local winery on Friday around noon. I was like WHAT???? I didn’t realize mom cliques are still a thing. They felt uber uncomfortable seeing me there. I texted one of the mom’s later and said I didn’t realize there was an invite only Friday gatherings. Bus stop interactions will be interesting on Monday! LMAO! Share your favorite mom clique story DCUM.

They sound like barely functioning alcoholics. I would consider yourself blessed to not be around these individuals. I bet they're aging like kaka with all that alcohol.

Agree. And I suspect we’re getting some mom wine hangover fatigue pushback.

How does having lunch with friends at a winery indicate “barely functioning alcoholic”? I’m truly curious.

No. You’re not.

Do you have an answer to the question? How does having lunch with friends at a winery indicate “barely functioning alcoholic”?

Honestly i find you exhausting and don’t feel like explaining why day drinking is a bad look.

No one cares what some uptight rando thinks is a "bad look"

DP-- Day drinking is strange on a weekday.

I drink alcohol probably six times a year, and I wouldn't think it was weird at all to have lunch at a winery and have a glass of wine at noon. That isn't strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of what the full details of the scenario actually were, it boils down to this:

If your first reaction was judgment rather than empathy, or at least sympathy, you are a part of the "Mean Girl" stereotype.

I understand that some PPs were rude in their delivery, but why wouldn't it make OP feel BETTER, not worse, to know that the majority of those hearing about this encounter, including Jeff, do NOT think these women were a clique, mean, or exclusionary?

But a few were really rabid about it, created massive analyses about OP’s character and experience.

Probably because of OP’s delivery! LMAO! They felt soo awkward about it! Bus stop will be INTERESTING! Emoji!
Why so brash? And how can OP know how they felt? What sane person would text a follow up?

I mean, I hope OP is trolling, or maybe had the experience but is being tongue in cheek, but ugh.

The irony of you drawing all kinds of conclusions about OP based on word choice in a brief DCUM post, but then claiming that OP could not possibly intuit whether there was an awkward vibe based on an in person interaction with women she knows/has met before. You and so many others are acting like you know everything about OP's character based on a few posts here, but when she says "they looked uber awkward" you're freaking out and saying she couldn't possibly KNOW that and what is her evidence.

No. I'm permitted to bring both common sense and my life experiences to interpret OP's or any other post. All signs point to OP being socially inept and immature and her therefore misinterpreting the situation and/or creating the awkwardness herself.

(Also, even if there was some palpable awkwardness it still does not mean these women are a clique or that OP was excluded.)

You are filtering very little info through your own biases. And if you are defending being unkind on the internet and tearing down OP because you deem her immature or socially inept, well, perhaps you should look in the mirror. Mean and immature on your part.

DP. I’ve read and reread the OP at least 5 times now, trying really hard to understand what some of you are trying to defend, and each time she sounds worse and worse. She might be a lovely person in real life and is just not good at relaying a story, but as far as this thread goes, her choice of words just don’t make a great case for her. If that makes me mean and immature, so be it.

We aren't trying to "defend" OP so much as ask that if you have helpful advice for someone you think is struggling socially, why can you not relay that in a kinder manner. Some of the posts on this thread are harsh and unnecessary. Just because it's anonymous you unload?

And some of you are really making some assumptions that seem...overstepping. That is all.

But OP didn’t ask for advice. She came out swinging, with that stupid green emoji and ALL CAPS and four ????s in a row. If the responses seemed harsh, they were just responding in kind.

Absolutely not. Swinging? More like joking. And if she didn't ask for advice, and rather to share stories, why are you handing down the tough love BS?

Give me a break. Whatever you think the OP is, you are worse.

Why are you so defensive if she was just joking? I thought people were being blasted for not feeling sorry for her. Now we're supposed to be laughing at her lame joke? Obviously it's a poorly written post if nobody can even agree what the point was.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’m guessing it was the first time.

OP's first post alluded to it be a regular gathering.

Sorry. Typo. I meant I’m sure it was not the first time. I also think the folks that are saying OP is off base are #momtribe

WTF is #momtribe? I wouldn't be caught dead saying that. And I think OP is off base.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Mom cliques are real and they drive mean girl behavior in their daughters. Little girls don’t become exclusionary by themselves. They copy.

Ok so unless the while school is invited, small gatherings are evil cliques and exclusive and wrong. There is zero chance you live by this rule in your own life.

You're putting words in OP's mouth. I feel, based on all the clues given, that there is some ambiguity about the closeness of some of the friendships, like she miscalculated just how tight she was with the subdivision friends. Also still need clarification from OP about the regularity of this day drinking get together.

Even if they were her two best friends on the planet, why would they have to invite her to an activity they were invited to? That's not how things work. My best friend does things without me all the time and I don't cry about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I once organized an outing with a bunch of kindergarten moms. My friend and I invited around 10 moms from the school that we liked. We couldn’t/didn’t invite 100+ moms. We invited the 10 moms we liked and were friends with.

Now my youngest is in first grade. She is in Girl Scouts. I am friends with some of the moms and hang out. If a group of moms who happened to have girls in Girl Scouts were out together and another mom who had a girl in Girl Scouts saw us, it would not be awkward for me. I am not friends with the other mom.

Indeed. That is because you have formed a clique, and she is not in it. Must see a lot of yourself in this string. Other will jump in for sure and +1 you and commend you for being so bold as to not feel awkward, nor invite her over to your grown up girls gang.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once organized an outing with a bunch of kindergarten moms. My friend and I invited around 10 moms from the school that we liked. We couldn’t/didn’t invite 100+ moms. We invited the 10 moms we liked and were friends with.

Now my youngest is in first grade. She is in Girl Scouts. I am friends with some of the moms and hang out. If a group of moms who happened to have girls in Girl Scouts were out together and another mom who had a girl in Girl Scouts saw us, it would not be awkward for me. I am not friends with the other mom.

Indeed. That is because you have formed a clique, and she is not in it. Must see a lot of yourself in this string. Other will jump in for sure and +1 you and commend you for being so bold as to not feel awkward, nor invite her over to your grown up girls gang.

I am a 45 year old woman. I do not form cliques. There are women I am friends with and hang out with sometimes. I do not feel the need to invite someone to a friend lunch just because we have a child in the same grade.

I have three kids. I have a few mom friends in each of my kids’ grades. The friend I will usually meet would be a group of 2-3. That kindergarten mom’s outing was a one time thing. Since I have 3 kids, my kids have been in preschool at different times. I often hung out with the preschool moms of my oldest. With my youngest, I was not invited to anything. This may have had to do with Covid. I also think the dynamic is different when other families have babies and toddlers and I had two older boys in elementary. Shrug. I don’t take it personally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:36 pages because adults have friends and don’t invite the whole class to their birthday party?

I don’t understand how a group of people OP knows getting together socially without inviting her makes it a clique. A clique would be if they stood in a circle at the bus stop and excluded OP by ignoring her or if they all openly make plans together at the bus stop and purposely don’t include OP.

+1

Stay in your lane, OP. Lest you get run over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:36 pages because adults have friends and don’t invite the whole class to their birthday party?

I don’t understand how a group of people OP knows getting together socially without inviting her makes it a clique. A clique would be if they stood in a circle at the bus stop and excluded OP by ignoring her or if they all openly make plans together at the bus stop and purposely don’t include OP.

+1

Stay in your lane, OP. Lest you get run over.

This is a completely stable response

[Anonymous]

Potatoes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Potatoes.

+1!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Potatoes.

+1!

Indeed. Eagle snafu.