We're "home for the holidays" but I wish we were "home sweet home."

Anonymous
It's our first Christmas with our baby and we decided to do what we always do: travel "home" to see our families. Only 1/2 day in and I regret this choice.

I thought I'd be homesick if we stayed in Virginia. I thought I'd be longing for family and "home". I was eager to show off our baby and thought being here would be fun. Now all I want is to be at OUR home. I wish we had gotten a tree and stayed to make our own traditions. I wish my baby wasn't scared to be sleeping in a new place. I wish we weren't living out of suitcases. I mean, the baby won't make it to the big Christmas Eve dinner anyway!

It isn't an option to return back to VA. We've got to stick it out for another week. I welcome ANY advice as to how to make this easier. Baby is 6 months old and very sensitive. He gets overwhelmed and overstimulated very easily, and that just doesn't mix with holiday visitors and bustle.

Just wanted to commiserate. I guess I'm getting older and the meaning of home has changed. I guess it's being a new mom...?
Anonymous
Hotel and cut the visit short. Just say baby is fussy and needs to sleep in their crib. Just do it. Baby comes FIRST along with the sanity for the new parents. ?

Keep us posted.
Anonymous
Keep his nap schedule and bedtime. That is the best practical advice. Make no apologies for doing what you need to do to keep baby happy. Enjoy what you can!

And remember baby won't remember this Christmas, so truly do care for your infant but do what makes you happy.

And stay home next year!
Anonymous
I have totally been there, and I say this as I am DREADING my own trip home this week. Yet, I continue going because it means the world to my parents to have their grandchildren with them.

The good news is, it may be a tough few days but you will get through it, and then you go home and get back to your normal routine. And, if you don't want to go next year, don't.

I have one fairly sensitive kid too (my oldest), and what helped most is carving out some family time for just us during the week. We go to a local park, the mall or for walks just to get away from the crowd at my parents' house. And, I try to keep my kids on their schedule as much as possible which also helps prevent meltdowns which makes everyone miserable.

Hang in there!
Anonymous
It's funny, because this is the first year we've decided to stay in VA to have Christmas here, in our house, but away from all our family. We are feeling lonely and disconnected. Our kids are 4 and 5 and we have decided to move "home" this spring. We've tried to make VA "home" but all of our friends have moved back to their families now that they have had children.

Family is important, if your relationship with them is good. The older our kids get, the more we realize how much they are missing being away from the extended family.

OP, enjoy the time with your family. Every day is a blessing with them. Young children, in general, have a hard time traveling. You can't stay home forever, so you just have to work out ways to make it easier for your baby. Wear your baby, if you are comfortable doing that as it will help to calm your child when you are in the hustle and bustle.

Relax, enjoy your family, and take up any offer for free babysitting - even if it's just so you and DH can grab a quick lunch at panera.
Anonymous
Is there a room/retreat in which you can nurse the baby to sleep, sit in a chair with your feet up and ready quietly?

Is there any area with a door (even the bath) where you can take the baby stuff, including a few toys and just play with the baby or read/prattle to the baby just the two of you?

If the baby gets extra fussy, put the baby in the car seat and go for a drive. Often, the motion of the drive itself will help lull the baby to sleep so you can listen to the radio (softly) and get some quiet time, even if it's only in the Starbucks parking lot.

Any mother among your group should be able to empathize with the toils of new motherhood and the challenges of an overstimulated baby. Perhaps after you put the baby down for an afternoon nap, you could chat over a nice cup of chamomile or sleepy time tea (non caffeinated if you're nursing and exchange war stories.

Remember life is good and a week's not as long as it sounds. When you stop traveling and start your home holiday traditions, you'll remember this time -- either fondly, humorously or as a cautionary tale -- but all you'll remember is your baby.

Relax. It'll all be O.K.

(Yes, I often end with that line, but that's because it's true!)
Anonymous
Exact same boat as you, OP. We have a 6 mo old and I wish we were staying in DC for Christmas. I'm going to try to stick to our schedule. The bright side is there is always a relative around to watch the baby while I shower, go for a run, etc. so I'm looking forward to that part.
Anonymous
Wow PPs! Thanks! I feel like I'm getting a big internet hug!
Anonymous
We have never been "home" for Christmas -- always on the road visiting family. I wish we could stay home but we just suck it up for our parents.
Anonymous
Yep, totally feel ya, OP. This is actually the first year since we had our child (now 3.5) that we WON"T be home, at our own house, for the holiday, and I'm sad. We decided to visit DH's family because it really means a lot to him and them that we be there, and we won't be going next year (expecting baby #2 in May). So we decided to go. But I wish were were staying home.

We got a tree the first weekend in December so we could enjoy it here, and we've been doing all our own stuff, and will even open most presents here, just the 3 of us, on Dec. 23 (luckily kid doesn't really "get" Santa yet, so no issue there.)

Agree with PPs who say keep the baby on a schedule, and make sure you get some alone (or just-you-three) time every single day. And get outside every day, for a walk or whatever--for me at least it makes me feel so much better.

Thinking of you!
Anonymous
Op, you need to go with the flow. Then maybe your baby will. Lifelong suggestion.
Anonymous
Op, I'm guessing you are bringing joy to people by being there. Isn't that worth something? Isn't that what the season is about? I'm not saying you had to go, but you got to own your decisions and not whine now making only about you.
Anonymous
Keeping nap and bedtime routines and schedule, the best you can, will help. Make baby's sleeping area as similar to home as possible (for us that meant their lovey, sheets, etc).

If you can find time to escape and get some quiet time, do it. As a PP mentioned, even if that means going for a drive until baby falls asleep then go and sitting somewhere (go through a drive through and get yourself something!)

This is the first year we've decided not to travel and I have to say I'm soooo glad we didn't. We skyped with family today, opened a few gifts, etc. We are open to hosting Christmas here and having our parents come this way, but I'm not sure if they ever will. They are coming to visit in the summer.
Anonymous
Ugh, this is how I feel and we haven't even left yet. I want my DD to remember being at home for christmas, not at boring nana and grandpa's house. Poor thing, she's going to be bored out of her mind.
Anonymous
I'm actually in the opposite shoes and feeling kinda left out of Christmas. Our baby is 4m old. My ILs will be coming Christmas Day, but my family is only coming Saturday. Up until 6 hours ago I thought Christmas was on Saturday--now I'm bummed! If we had a ton of friends who stayed in the area, I might feel different, but everyone goes home to their families. I don't want to think up new traditions for just me, DH and DD. I don't want to just spend Christmas Day with the ILs.

Growing up and moving away from home sucks. (But moving back to where I grew up is not an option.)
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