Are your older parents becoming more religious?
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Anonymous
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My parents were always pretty religious but over the last couple years they have become super religious. Waking up early to pray for an hour, praying for another hour after they get home from work, donating money and volunteering more at temple, reading and listening to religious texts and music/lectures on youtube.
They aren't pushy about it - they keep it to themselves, but it makes me a bit uncomfortable when I go home to visit. FWIW, they are hindu and have lived in the US for 35 years. Regardless of religion, have you noticed your parents becoming more religious as they age? |
Anonymous
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My mother and her friends have always been super Catholic. It drives me nuts, but I honestly think that it's also a way for seniors to network. After going to church and doing charity work, they hang out together, go to coffee and chat.
This is probably what your parents do too. As long as it doesn't channel into annoying you with their politics, too, it isn't so bad. |
Anonymous
Nah - they never talk about politics or public policy. It wouldn't matter if they did because they are progressive democrats in terms of public policy so we agree on most things. Their personal views on how people should live their lives is very different but they don't think governments should dictate that. Like for example they are very pro-choice but would definitely be very judgmental on anyone who got one. They are introverts and have never socialized really. It is just straight up taking their level of devoutness to the next level. I overheard them once that in 10 years they might want to sell everything and just go back to india to live in a ashram/temple and become groundskeepers and give alms to the poor. I don't even know what to say to that. |
Anonymous
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I think the key is that they don't proselytize, and that it's apparently not linked to some kind of neurodegeneration. My friend's father became very assiduous in his Hindu practices as he grew older, and it was lovely to see him lead a regular, healthy and connected lifestyle in his retirement. |
Anonymous
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nope
My 79 yo mother, Catholic, has questioned the church more and more. I love it. |
Anonymous
| Yes. My mom is Episcopalian and the church has become her entire life. Other than her pressuring me to baptise my kid, it's been fine. I'm glad she has something she's interested in. But it is all she talks about and since I'm not religious at all, I find it kind of boring. I don't know a sacristy from a sanctuary. |
Anonymous
| My Catholic-raised mother became a born again Christian a few years ago. I was happy for her at first, as she lived a fairly isolated existence (just home/work and no real friendships) and I thought getting involved in a church community would be good for her. She has since become really extreme in her views, and I cannot relate to her at all now. Her church has become her life, especially now that she is retired. I really struggle with how to maintain a good relationship with her, because I disagree with almost everything that she now believes. |
Anonymous
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My mom has too! She actually stopped drinking alcohol and caffeine all together, reads two bibles (yes, two), and tried to get rid of my manga (yet left my anime alone) because she didn't like that they had nudity in them in all of 2 frames or so. I cannot relate to her at all anymore, and she has even said that I am a child of God. I am terrified to come out as a Pagan to her, and she is ridiculously overly christian now.
I think it's because, when we get older, we realize our lives are mainly over. This is probably a coping mechanism and they are trying to become as good as possible before they die. |
Anonymous
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My parent, in their early 70s, have become less religious. Well, my mom never was religious at all. But my dad used to go to synagogue on a fairly regular basis, keep Passover strictly, etc. Now he goes for the High Holidays but this year for the first time he did not go on the second day of Rosh Hashanah. And while he still keeps Passover he no longer polices what comes into the house so when my cousins came over and ate a sandwich in front of him he didn't seem to care.
Of course these are just outward manifestations so who knows what his private thoughts are. In Judaism spiritual fervor tends to be measured by observance but one can not be observant and still feel quite religious, I suppose. |
Anonymous
| My in laws have become more religious (Catholic). It was overwhelming and annoying at first., when we visited they had church commitments 4 days a week and attended daily mass. They seemed unwilling to make any accommodations when we visited, even though visits were scheduled in advance. It has improved. I respect their beliefs, but have said I am glad you enjoy doing all those church ministries, but it's not for me. It was tough on my 15 year old too as his relationship with them changed. But he has found a way to accommodate his grandfather, even though his beliefs are not the same. |
Anonymous
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No, just the opposite. Grew up a weekly church-going Catholic. We even went to church on holy days and were sent to Catholic school.
Over the last 2 decades my parents, now in their 80s, have become rabid anti-church-ers. Always making fun of the problems the church gets itself to, poking fun of doctrine. They don't even want funerals or a burial, just for us to go to a pub and drink in their memory and then scatter their ashes somewhere lovely. My Catholic relatives are going to have a meltdown when the time comes. |
Anonymous
It's called taking sannyas and it's very common in Hindu households. Wealthy merchant bankers, kings and jewelers would give up all their material success once they hit old age and wear the monk's robe and head into the forest ashrams. I'm a modern Hindu-American in my 20s, have a successful career, and I know I intend to take sannyas when I'm at retirement age and God calls. You shouldn't judge your parents. |
Anonymous
You ARE a child of God. Sorry to burst your bubble. You'll find out when the time comes. |
Anonymous
oh dear god, why? Just why? Go away. PP, I understand the pain of being a Pagan when you have Christian parents. Hugs to you. Ignore the crazy evangelical. |
Anonymous
| What people do when they are getting closer to their graves |