I strongly suspect my neighbor's kid has AS

[Anonymous]

This boy is 9, going to 4th grade. As far as I know, he is a happy child.
At school, he plays alone, he is in the gifted program for math and humanities. He was a very early reader an was reading complex texts at the age of 5 (biology etc).
He has had phases of being totally into animals, dinosaurs, Lego series, particular book series etc. This is in a way that he can't stop talking about it, to his family, to me if if he catches me outside, whatever. He will interrupt a conversation between his mom and I to tell me about the latest book about X. He does not notice that sometimes I don't want to can't listen (like I am already in the car leaving and I wave goodbye and he runs to me to tell me about something).
Anyway, he does not only do it to me. He becomes obsessed about something and expects everybody will want to hear about it any time.

The question is, MYOB?

[Anonymous]

MYOB

[Anonymous]

Of course. Do you really think you have some highly tuned powers of observation that have escaped the notice of all the adults in his life who have been charged with his wellbeing for the last 9 years?

[Anonymous]

Are you a developmental psychologist and have you evaluated the boy in a clinical setting? If so, then feel free to approach the parents.

[Anonymous]

You just described my child, except he's 10 and going into 5th grade. He certainly has some form of High-functioning autism, it runs in the family.

What exactly would you say to her that she doesn't already know, OP? That he has Asperger's? I'm sure she's aware of his social challenges.

The way you talk to a person like this is that you become direct and literal. However when he's latched onto his fave subject, there's not a lot you can do sometimes. My son is VERY DIFFICULT to stem when he's onto his favorite subject. I can look him in the eye and say: "That's enough, we need to change the subject", but when he badly wants to say something, he'll just go into override mode. You, as a neighbor, can't even say that.

Which is a long way to say - mind you own business.

[Anonymous]

I have a neighbor with a similar kid. It turns out the parents have been through all kinds of testing and treatments, but the kid still has many issues similar to the ones you describe. I think the best you can do is listen, and only offer suggestions if you are asked. My neighbor does not want to hear what I have to say. She knows her kid, and she thinks she will find the answer. I tell her what I know in a general way, and let her draw her own conclusions.

BTW, it's very painful because her son is a sweet kid, but he has no friends because he can't relate to anyone socially. His mom is not ready to admit her kid as an ASD. There's nothing you or anyone else can do about that.

[Anonymous]

What if they already know? I'm so sick of this crap about suspecting kids have add or adhd or asd. I'm sure many of them do. There's no cure. They are not going to be magically fixed somehow if their parents acknowledge to you that they have such a thing. Therapy is not magic. It's not like you get a diagnosis and poof! All better. They are the same kid. So much "help" on the front end and none at all on the back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if they already know? I'm so sick of this crap about suspecting kids have add or adhd or asd. I'm sure many of them do. There's no cure. They are not going to be magically fixed somehow if their parents acknowledge to you that they have such a thing. Therapy is not magic. It's not like you get a diagnosis and poof! All better. They are the same kid. So much "help" on the front end and none at all on the back.

+1, if kids are severe, ABA can help some, maybe social skills or other things but in all reality, they are who they are and many do just fine in life. My husband is in IT - many of the developers are quirky - who cares - they are great at what they do, most married, with kids and living a decent life. There are far worst things than autism depending on the severity.

[Anonymous]

You sound like you suspect him of a crime. Or as if you have evidence of diphtheria or Ebola.

What, exactly, do you expect to occur here? I mean, if we were all to advocate as you wish and say "Tell them right away!"

[Anonymous]

Please tell me you're a troll!

If not, you are a highly offensive person! who do you think you are??

Please MYOB, and get a hobby such as looking in your own family's closet and fix what you have going on inside your own home. For Christ's sake!

[Anonymous]

Okay Gladys Kravitz!

[Anonymous]

Maybe the parents know and choose to keep it private.

[Anonymous]

MYOB. My goodness.

By the way, learning passions and most of what you describe are evidence of giftedness. Check out hoagiesgifted.org. Tired of the culture of diagnosis in the DC area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the parents know and choose to keep it private.

This. People don't announce medical conditions on the neighborhood listserve.

[Anonymous]

Man, I am happy you are not my neighbour. ?