I grew up as a Jehovah's Witness. AMA

[Anonymous]

I grew up in an abusive, chaotic environment after the age of 7, when my widowed mother joined the Jehovah's Witnesses and remarried. This was in the 19 70's, when the religion was really peaking.
AMA. And thanks to the poster on the parenting forum that suggested this, I never would have considered it on my own. Hopefully I've something of worth to share here.

[Anonymous]

What was your path of healing? Hugs.
How did your mother do?

[Anonymous]

This is my association with JW's:

My mom was a lonely, but very Catholic immigrant SAHM in the early 80s. She befriended a JW woman who I guess was assigned to our neighborhood to knock on doors. My mother would welcome this woman into our and talk to her and have tea/snack almost weekly. My mom made it clear she wasn't converting. For years, I think she was my mom's only real friend. There was never any pressure to convert and now that I am a grown woman, I am grateful for this JW woman who visited my mom for years and kept her company. Only positive associations with the religion. It was years later that I learned of all the restrictions the religion imposes on members. I remember a high school friend of mine that got in trouble for not stading up for the pledge of allegiance. Still, my impression is a positive one. I treat the people who knock at my door kindly - always offer water, make it clear I am Catholic, but always welcoming. I also have great impression of Mormons.

[Anonymous]

Would you let your child gave a life saving blood transfusion?

[Anonymous]

Have

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is my association with JW's:

My mom was a lonely, but very Catholic immigrant SAHM in the early 80s. She befriended a JW woman who I guess was assigned to our neighborhood to knock on doors. My mother would welcome this woman into our and talk to her and have tea/snack almost weekly. My mom made it clear she wasn't converting. For years, I think she was my mom's only real friend. There was never any pressure to convert and now that I am a grown woman, I am grateful for this JW woman who visited my mom for years and kept her company. Only positive associations with the religion. It was years later that I learned of all the restrictions the religion imposes on members. I remember a high school friend of mine that got in trouble for not stading up for the pledge of allegiance. Still, my impression is a positive one. I treat the people who knock at my door kindly - always offer water, make it clear I am Catholic, but always welcoming. I also have great impression of Mormons.

What a lovely story. Thank you sharing that. -NP

[Anonymous]

Do you consider yourself a Christian?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What was your path of healing? Hugs.
How did your mother do?

My mother is still in the religion, which is fine, they will take care of her if she falls ill. I live across the country from her. We are like distant friends. She didn't speak to me for several years after I made the decision to not be a JW at the age of 16, but they changed the rules so that family could speak to "disassociated" people, without the full shunning of the "disfellowshipping" . I can explain these terms if anyone asks.

Healing took a long time. I finally found anger when my daughter was small and confronted my mother. After the anger was peace, and making sure my relationship with my own daughter was open, honest and close.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you let your child gave a life saving blood transfusion?

I left the he religion at age 16, so yes, of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is my association with JW's:

My mom was a lonely, but very Catholic immigrant SAHM in the early 80s. She befriended a JW woman who I guess was assigned to our neighborhood to knock on doors. My mother would welcome this woman into our and talk to her and have tea/snack almost weekly. My mom made it clear she wasn't converting. For years, I think she was my mom's only real friend. There was never any pressure to convert and now that I am a grown woman, I am grateful for this JW woman who visited my mom for years and kept her company. Only positive associations with the religion. It was years later that I learned of all the restrictions the religion imposes on members. I remember a high school friend of mine that got in trouble for not stading up for the pledge of allegiance. Still, my impression is a positive one. I treat the people who knock at my door kindly - always offer water, make it clear I am Catholic, but always welcoming. I also have great impression of Mormons.

Individual Witnesses can be lovely people. I didn't start this ama to say bad things, but to share my experience. The religion as a whole has done some atrocities and I don't believe that any faith that participates in breaking families apart by shunning to be a positive religion. That is no reflection on individual members.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you consider yourself a Christian?

In case I wasn't clear, I asked to be removed from the religion at age 16, which they did publicly, shunning me completely. As far as what the believe, yes, they feel they are the true Christian religion, and all others are wrong and will perish. This is why they so fervently go door to door. We were told that the blood of anyone we didn't truly spread God's true Word to would be on our hands, when they died in Armageddon.

[Anonymous]

Why did you decide to leave JW at age 16?

[Anonymous]

OP, although I think the JWs are a silly religion. Being one does not necessarily make a childhood one of abuse.

Also, you may find this interview interesting:
http://www.npr.org/templates/transcript/transcript.php?storyId=369736205

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you decide to leave JW at age 16?

I felt very uncomfortable with watching families be torn apart. I distinctly recall feeling this around age 11 or so and it just ate at me. It seemed to me that family was an important structure , and seeing as I was in an abusive situation from ages 8-12, it hurt me to see grown children that couldn't speak to parents, siblings that were astranged. The idea of using fear to keep people in the faith was abhorrent to me, even at an early age. I was already too afraid to report my abuse to my mother (my step brothers were physically and sexually hurting me) and this was another layer of fear.

At age 15-16, when I acted up a bit, my parents made me sit down with four elders of our congregation. They grilled me. They asked for details regarding a boy I'd made out with. I was humiliated. These were people I'd grown up with. I babysat their children. I'd done very little, meanwhile other teens in the congregation were having sex, smoking and drinking with no reprisal. They never once asked if I was troubled or sad or needed help. They took away all my babysitting and put me on restrictions. After a year of that, I told me mother I was finished with her faith and to throw me out. They did. Since I still lived at home, for two year I had to attend worship twice a week, and no one spoke to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, although I think the JWs are a silly religion. Being one does not necessarily make a childhood one of abuse.

Also, you may find this interview interesting:
http://www.npr.org/templates/transcript/transcript.php?storyId=369736205

Of course not. But I was, and it was ignored. Many religions that are closed in his way hide abuse and molestation. The JW church has been hit with many allegations over the years. It's rampant.