Watching your kid play

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I think we’d be doing our kids a favor if we were not all sitting breathlessly on the sidelines of every single game.

I love watching and supporting my kids, but they should be playing for themselves, and not an audience of adults (many of whom often give unhelpful feedback).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think we’d be doing our kids a favor if we were not all sitting breathlessly on the sidelines of every single game.

I love watching and supporting my kids, but they should be playing for themselves, and not an audience of adults (many of whom often give unhelpful feedback).

But you can also just be there, mostly stay quiet, and then after the game tell your kid "I love watching you play!" which is what I've seen suggested from several high level players in our sport is the right thing to say to a kid after a game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think we’d be doing our kids a favor if we were not all sitting breathlessly on the sidelines of every single game.

I love watching and supporting my kids, but they should be playing for themselves, and not an audience of adults (many of whom often give unhelpful feedback).

But you can also just be there, mostly stay quiet, and then after the game tell your kid "I love watching you play!" which is what I've seen suggested from several high level players in our sport is the right thing to say to a kid after a game.

That’s what I do (though I seem to be one of the quieter ones).

But I personally would love to hear how they feel about playing some games independently, with no parents at all. Let them, their teammates and coaches go solo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think we’d be doing our kids a favor if we were not all sitting breathlessly on the sidelines of every single game.

I love watching and supporting my kids, but they should be playing for themselves, and not an audience of adults (many of whom often give unhelpful feedback).

But you can also just be there, mostly stay quiet, and then after the game tell your kid "I love watching you play!" which is what I've seen suggested from several high level players in our sport is the right thing to say to a kid after a game.

That’s what I do (though I seem to be one of the quieter ones).

But I personally would love to hear how they feel about playing some games independently, with no parents at all. Let them, their teammates and coaches go solo.

PP here and all my kids hate when one parent has to miss their games because a sibling has a game at the same time. They would be utterly baffled to be solo just to try it. I don't even know how I'd explain possible benefits because I just don't see them, but I'd be curious to hear what someone else might say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think we’d be doing our kids a favor if we were not all sitting breathlessly on the sidelines of every single game.

I love watching and supporting my kids, but they should be playing for themselves, and not an audience of adults (many of whom often give unhelpful feedback).

But you can also just be there, mostly stay quiet, and then after the game tell your kid "I love watching you play!" which is what I've seen suggested from several high level players in our sport is the right thing to say to a kid after a game.

That’s what I do (though I seem to be one of the quieter ones).

But I personally would love to hear how they feel about playing some games independently, with no parents at all. Let them, their teammates and coaches go solo.

PP here and all my kids hate when one parent has to miss their games because a sibling has a game at the same time. They would be utterly baffled to be solo just to try it. I don't even know how I'd explain possible benefits because I just don't see them, but I'd be curious to hear what someone else might say.

How old are your kids? It's different for a 16 year old vs. a 10 year old.

If you are a good sideline parent and your kids want you there...good for you.

However, many parents don't ask their kids if they think they are a good sideline parent or not. A parent's seemingly innocuous cheer to their kid to "get a hit" after they struck out their first at-bat...translates to the kid as "my parent thinks I suck unless I get a hit here"...which of course creates more pressure.

Also, aggressive parents are bad for the entire team...not just their kid. Often, they can't relegate their screaming stuff to just their kid, but direct it at lots of kids on the team.

So, the team may enjoy no parents because the bad ones ruin the day for everyone. I coached a baseball team during Covid and all the parents were relegated to watching from behind the HR fence in the OF. I wish they kept with that because parents can yell all they want, but nobody could hear them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think we’d be doing our kids a favor if we were not all sitting breathlessly on the sidelines of every single game.

I love watching and supporting my kids, but they should be playing for themselves, and not an audience of adults (many of whom often give unhelpful feedback).

But you can also just be there, mostly stay quiet, and then after the game tell your kid "I love watching you play!" which is what I've seen suggested from several high level players in our sport is the right thing to say to a kid after a game.

That’s what I do (though I seem to be one of the quieter ones).

But I personally would love to hear how they feel about playing some games independently, with no parents at all. Let them, their teammates and coaches go solo.

PP here and all my kids hate when one parent has to miss their games because a sibling has a game at the same time. They would be utterly baffled to be solo just to try it. I don't even know how I'd explain possible benefits because I just don't see them, but I'd be curious to hear what someone else might say.

How old are your kids? It's different for a 16 year old vs. a 10 year old.

If you are a good sideline parent and your kids want you there...good for you.

However, many parents don't ask their kids if they think they are a good sideline parent or not. A parent's seemingly innocuous cheer to their kid to "get a hit" after they struck out their first at-bat...translates to the kid as "my parent thinks I suck unless I get a hit here"...which of course creates more pressure.

Also, aggressive parents are bad for the entire team...not just their kid. Often, they can't relegate their screaming stuff to just their kid, but direct it at lots of kids on the team.

So, the team may enjoy no parents because the bad ones ruin the day for everyone. I coached a baseball team during Covid and all the parents were relegated to watching from behind the HR fence in the OF. I wish they kept with that because parents can yell all they want, but nobody could hear them.

PP here. The only one I'd consider asking this is the 12 year old, but she already just today got bummed when she heard today one parent would be missing her next game due to a sibling conflict. In fact that was top of mind when I replied above. Other kids are younger, though I've definitely seen kids their ages dropped for games off I've never seen them happy about it.

[Anonymous]

My DD is a GK and I hate the stress of watching her play but do love seeing her joy when she makes a tough save. I am a solo parent, so I go to every game; I just don't always watch. She knows that if I don't watch it's not because I don't care. I know it is dumb that it stresses me out. I know that it doesn't matter how the game turns out, but my nervous system doesn't seem to understand that. So I balance what works for both of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think we’d be doing our kids a favor if we were not all sitting breathlessly on the sidelines of every single game.

I love watching and supporting my kids, but they should be playing for themselves, and not an audience of adults (many of whom often give unhelpful feedback).

But you can also just be there, mostly stay quiet, and then after the game tell your kid "I love watching you play!" which is what I've seen suggested from several high level players in our sport is the right thing to say to a kid after a game.

That’s what I do (though I seem to be one of the quieter ones).

But I personally would love to hear how they feel about playing some games independently, with no parents at all. Let them, their teammates and coaches go solo.

PP here and all my kids hate when one parent has to miss their games because a sibling has a game at the same time. They would be utterly baffled to be solo just to try it. I don't even know how I'd explain possible benefits because I just don't see them, but I'd be curious to hear what someone else might say.

I think it can create pressure, and perhaps a focus on parental approval.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think we’d be doing our kids a favor if we were not all sitting breathlessly on the sidelines of every single game.

I love watching and supporting my kids, but they should be playing for themselves, and not an audience of adults (many of whom often give unhelpful feedback).

But you can also just be there, mostly stay quiet, and then after the game tell your kid "I love watching you play!" which is what I've seen suggested from several high level players in our sport is the right thing to say to a kid after a game.

That’s what I do (though I seem to be one of the quieter ones).

But I personally would love to hear how they feel about playing some games independently, with no parents at all. Let them, their teammates and coaches go solo.

I'm the one who doesn't go to most games and brings a book when I do. They feel just fine about my not watching because I started how I meant to go on. "Have fun; I'll pick you up at 6pm!" and off they went. So they're happy when I show, but don't care when I don't. At the start of each season I tell them to let me know iif they'll want me to come to something - they generally pick 1-3 games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think we’d be doing our kids a favor if we were not all sitting breathlessly on the sidelines of every single game.

I love watching and supporting my kids, but they should be playing for themselves, and not an audience of adults (many of whom often give unhelpful feedback).

But you can also just be there, mostly stay quiet, and then after the game tell your kid "I love watching you play!" which is what I've seen suggested from several high level players in our sport is the right thing to say to a kid after a game.

That’s what I do (though I seem to be one of the quieter ones).

But I personally would love to hear how they feel about playing some games independently, with no parents at all. Let them, their teammates and coaches go solo.

PP here and all my kids hate when one parent has to miss their games because a sibling has a game at the same time. They would be utterly baffled to be solo just to try it. I don't even know how I'd explain possible benefits because I just don't see them, but I'd be curious to hear what someone else might say.

How old are your kids? It's different for a 16 year old vs. a 10 year old.

If you are a good sideline parent and your kids want you there...good for you.

However, many parents don't ask their kids if they think they are a good sideline parent or not. A parent's seemingly innocuous cheer to their kid to "get a hit" after they struck out their first at-bat...translates to the kid as "my parent thinks I suck unless I get a hit here"...which of course creates more pressure.

Also, aggressive parents are bad for the entire team...not just their kid. Often, they can't relegate their screaming stuff to just their kid, but direct it at lots of kids on the team.

So, the team may enjoy no parents because the bad ones ruin the day for everyone. I coached a baseball team during Covid and all the parents were relegated to watching from behind the HR fence in the OF. I wish they kept with that because parents can yell all they want, but nobody could hear them.

PP here. The only one I'd consider asking this is the 12 year old, but she already just today got bummed when she heard today one parent would be missing her next game due to a sibling conflict. In fact that was top of mind when I replied above. Other kids are younger, though I've definitely seen kids their ages dropped for games off I've never seen them happy about it.

Your kid turns into an entirely different person once the teen years are in earnest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think we’d be doing our kids a favor if we were not all sitting breathlessly on the sidelines of every single game.

I love watching and supporting my kids, but they should be playing for themselves, and not an audience of adults (many of whom often give unhelpful feedback).

But you can also just be there, mostly stay quiet, and then after the game tell your kid "I love watching you play!" which is what I've seen suggested from several high level players in our sport is the right thing to say to a kid after a game.

That’s what I do (though I seem to be one of the quieter ones).

But I personally would love to hear how they feel about playing some games independently, with no parents at all. Let them, their teammates and coaches go solo.

I'm the one who doesn't go to most games and brings a book when I do. They feel just fine about my not watching because I started how I meant to go on. "Have fun; I'll pick you up at 6pm!" and off they went. So they're happy when I show, but don't care when I don't. At the start of each season I tell them to let me know iif they'll want me to come to something - they generally pick 1-3 games.

This is the kid who won't come home much once they move out. You're not close at all to your kid, and it shows, I'd stop bragging about it. Your kid will tell their future spouse how you weren't there for them and how they plan to do better.

[Anonymous]

My 18-year old has always said she wants me at her softball games. Not sure what you're doing wrong with your teen who doesn't want you there.... j/k. Maybe because she knows I enjoy watching her play and the games in general and I'm paying attention so I can actively participate in a conversation about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think we’d be doing our kids a favor if we were not all sitting breathlessly on the sidelines of every single game.

I love watching and supporting my kids, but they should be playing for themselves, and not an audience of adults (many of whom often give unhelpful feedback).

But you can also just be there, mostly stay quiet, and then after the game tell your kid "I love watching you play!" which is what I've seen suggested from several high level players in our sport is the right thing to say to a kid after a game.

That’s what I do (though I seem to be one of the quieter ones).

But I personally would love to hear how they feel about playing some games independently, with no parents at all. Let them, their teammates and coaches go solo.

I'm the one who doesn't go to most games and brings a book when I do. They feel just fine about my not watching because I started how I meant to go on. "Have fun; I'll pick you up at 6pm!" and off they went. So they're happy when I show, but don't care when I don't. At the start of each season I tell them to let me know iif they'll want me to come to something - they generally pick 1-3 games.

This is the kid who won't come home much once they move out. You're not close at all to your kid, and it shows, I'd stop bragging about it. Your kid will tell their future spouse how you weren't there for them and how they plan to do better.

DP and I disagree. I think we send our kids the wrong message by hovering over their every move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think we’d be doing our kids a favor if we were not all sitting breathlessly on the sidelines of every single game.

I love watching and supporting my kids, but they should be playing for themselves, and not an audience of adults (many of whom often give unhelpful feedback).

But you can also just be there, mostly stay quiet, and then after the game tell your kid "I love watching you play!" which is what I've seen suggested from several high level players in our sport is the right thing to say to a kid after a game.

That’s what I do (though I seem to be one of the quieter ones).

But I personally would love to hear how they feel about playing some games independently, with no parents at all. Let them, their teammates and coaches go solo.

I'm the one who doesn't go to most games and brings a book when I do. They feel just fine about my not watching because I started how I meant to go on. "Have fun; I'll pick you up at 6pm!" and off they went. So they're happy when I show, but don't care when I don't. At the start of each season I tell them to let me know iif they'll want me to come to something - they generally pick 1-3 games.

This is the kid who won't come home much once they move out. You're not close at all to your kid, and it shows, I'd stop bragging about it. Your kid will tell their future spouse how you weren't there for them and how they plan to do better.

DP and I disagree. I think we send our kids the wrong message by hovering over their every move.

DP. My parents were fairly hands-off because that's the kind of parenting they received. Yet they came to my every single high school sporting event. I really, really valued that and it helped me feel loved. Maybe if they'd been more hands-on in other areas the sports would have felt less important? But I think you can come to every sporting event and not be snowplowing or helicoptering or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think we’d be doing our kids a favor if we were not all sitting breathlessly on the sidelines of every single game.

I love watching and supporting my kids, but they should be playing for themselves, and not an audience of adults (many of whom often give unhelpful feedback).

But you can also just be there, mostly stay quiet, and then after the game tell your kid "I love watching you play!" which is what I've seen suggested from several high level players in our sport is the right thing to say to a kid after a game.

That’s what I do (though I seem to be one of the quieter ones).

But I personally would love to hear how they feel about playing some games independently, with no parents at all. Let them, their teammates and coaches go solo.

PP here and all my kids hate when one parent has to miss their games because a sibling has a game at the same time. They would be utterly baffled to be solo just to try it. I don't even know how I'd explain possible benefits because I just don't see them, but I'd be curious to hear what someone else might say.

How old are your kids? It's different for a 16 year old vs. a 10 year old.

If you are a good sideline parent and your kids want you there...good for you.

However, many parents don't ask their kids if they think they are a good sideline parent or not. A parent's seemingly innocuous cheer to their kid to "get a hit" after they struck out their first at-bat...translates to the kid as "my parent thinks I suck unless I get a hit here"...which of course creates more pressure.

Also, aggressive parents are bad for the entire team...not just their kid. Often, they can't relegate their screaming stuff to just their kid, but direct it at lots of kids on the team.

So, the team may enjoy no parents because the bad ones ruin the day for everyone. I coached a baseball team during Covid and all the parents were relegated to watching from behind the HR fence in the OF. I wish they kept with that because parents can yell all they want, but nobody could hear them.

PP here. The only one I'd consider asking this is the 12 year old, but she already just today got bummed when she heard today one parent would be missing her next game due to a sibling conflict. In fact that was top of mind when I replied above. Other kids are younger, though I've definitely seen kids their ages dropped for games off I've never seen them happy about it.

Your kid turns into an entirely different person once the teen years are in earnest.

Mine is 17 and loves that we go to all of the games. SOMETIMES it is just one of us but it is usually both.