Oh, poor drunkies! |
I’ll share my mom clique story!
We moved to a new, close-knit neighborhood right before 2nd grade. I started getting involved in school activities (not much, because I was working full time) and being friendly with the moms of my child’s friends. And you know what happened? They started inviting me (and 10-15 other moms) to activities. Because they used the emails they had from other activities and also said “pass this on to anyone I might have missed!” Shockingly similar to how there was a group of moms at daycare who went out about once a month - it went from 2 to 3 moms to an invite list of 10+ as more emails and numbers were shared. OP, 15 is NOT an exclusive clique. Plus, 15 women there means an email/text chain of 18+ moms, at least. I am skeptical that they actually were uncomfortable when they saw you, given you don’t seem to be socially skilled based on what you wrote here (I’m not either, but I can fake it). But the text after definitely means they will be uncomfortable around you now. |
What’s the issue here? They’re friends hanging out. You made it weird! |
NP. You understand that going to a restaurant at a winery is the same as going to any other restaurant, right? They weren’t doing a pub crawl. |
Red Flag Mamas are a hard no for me. Their kids can be really nice but I only let my kids play with them at school because I don't want to have to coordinate a playdate with RFM. |
Yea not quite true. People go to wineries for the wine. Theyre forced to sell usually subpar food for legal reasons. |
From OP's posts, it seems fairly clear why she was excluded. She's unpleasant and people don't want to spend time with her. |
That big clique will break apart when the kids hit middle school if not later elementary age. The kids will stop getting along, the parents will stop hanging out, families will move, the one who gets divorced will be frozen out … etc. etc. |
It's only a clique because OP wasn't invited. I'm doubt she made them uncomfortable, but it's pretty clear she was uncomfortable and awkward about it. That text response was weird AF. Why would bus interactions be weird? It's not like they were friends with OP before. It's only that she has just caught on that they are all friends with each other. |
This is a nice response. While I also was put off by OP's attitude a bit, I could certainly empathize. And obviously, the vicious cliquey girls jumped all over it. |
My school (Catholic) does stuff like this. They will text every single 3rd grade mom. Around half of them never show up to anything and some have never responded to any texts. I've interacted with the quiet ones and they think it's a big clique and don't want to be involved.
Personally I hate big group events and prefer either one-on-one or very small groups. My social anxiety works overtime sitting at a table with a dozen women trying to be cool. But I always show up to this stuff so as not to be labeled unfriendly! Sorry OP but you made it weird with the text. |
15 moms? Thats pretty much the whole class except you. |
I marvel at the generation over generation psychoses of some women 'friendships'. You spend your whole lives putting down each other and back-biting and pass that crap down to your kids. It's so gross. OP is just a player in that scenario - the person that is ostracized, there's gotta be at least one. Who else will you talk about when none of you is away in the bathroom? |
I highly doubt this is a solid group of 15 people. The other PP was right and it was probably a mass mailing and open invitation to a larger group to go to this event. OP is so outside of that she didn't even make the mass email which should give her pause. Maybe rethink her social interactions and how she comes across. |
I don’t think is particularly cliquey. Imagine a couple moms at school drop off talking about how nice the weather has been and wouldn’t it be fun to get together some Friday outside for lunch. “Great idea! Let’s text some people and see who can come!” One mom sends something to the group chat of book fair volunteers she still has on her phone. Another mentions it to her neighbors. The third invites a couple friends. Suddenly you have 15 moms from the same school at a winery of a Friday. You’re not one of them because you fell into none of the groups the invite went out to. You’re reading way too much into this. Maybe you are super annoying and a social manipulator (your post suggests maybe you are) and somebody did think “should we reach out to Jen? Nah, let’s not” but it’s just as likely that this isn’t some exclusive group that is purposely leaving people out.
I’m part of a mom text thread with nine people. Some I’m close to, some I’m not. Plans often get made over the chat but others are always welcome and we all have other relationships outside of the chat. It’s just a convenience means of social planning. If you want in, don’t be a B about it. Just mention to whoever you’re close to in the group that you’d love to join next time if there are group plans. Chances are, unless you’re horrible, they’d be happy to have you, |