So torn about TJ advice to child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is currently sophomore at TJ. He is doing OK - but in all honesty, he is not really using the advanced classes and research groups.

Overall, I see nothing that he is getting incremental at TJ (based on his drive) - besides the pressure on grades.

If I had to do it again, I would keep him at base school ( which is what DC wanted to do in the first place )

Our base school has gone downhill in terms of academic rigor and grading. There is little structure to the classes anymore. Do you still say that even knowing the base schools have changed?

Good point. If I knew my base school had issues AND my kid could handle TJ - then TJ was the way to go. easy.

In our case, our base school (Chantilly HS) is pretty good but not hyper competitive like Oakton/Langley/McLean. So the base option would have been just fine.

You think Oakton/Langley/Mclean is more competitive than TJ?

[Anonymous]

If you're getting 8 hours on homework good night, That's either because you chose the wrong classes or because you want it.

[Anonymous]

I guess I'm most afraid that by him accepting he's giving up high school and being a kid in place of four years of additional college. TJ seems very collegiate to me. On one hand that's nice and preparatory. On another, it feels like skipping part of childhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm most afraid that by him accepting he's giving up high school and being a kid in place of four years of additional college. TJ seems very collegiate to me. On one hand that's nice and preparatory. On another, it feels like skipping part of childhood.

NP. I would love to dig into this a little deeper if that's okay. In what sense are you worried about him "giving up high school"? I'm genuinely curious, as my TJ experience was outstanding once I was able to find my people.

It's also worth noting that accepting the offer of admission to TJ is not a four-year commitment. If it's not the right fit, he can absolutely leave and transition pretty seamlessly into his base school while being ahead of the game from an academic sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm most afraid that by him accepting he's giving up high school and being a kid in place of four years of additional college. TJ seems very collegiate to me. On one hand that's nice and preparatory. On another, it feels like skipping part of childhood.

NP. I would love to dig into this a little deeper if that's okay. In what sense are you worried about him "giving up high school"? I'm genuinely curious, as my TJ experience was outstanding once I was able to find my people.

It's also worth noting that accepting the offer of admission to TJ is not a four-year commitment. If it's not the right fit, he can absolutely leave and transition pretty seamlessly into his base school while being ahead of the game from an academic sense.

DP, and when I arrived at TJ (this was decades ago), my Monday 8th period teacher said "Welcome to college for 14 year olds!" Sure there's a sense in which it is. They don't coddle you. And you're definitely building a resume there pretty consciously - that's a lot of what 8th period is about.

That said, in about every other way it was high school. We went through normal high school milestones, participated in sports and music (and watched plenty of games too), and did normal high school things with our friends.

The only thing I missed that my friends at base schools had was the heavy smell of cigarette smoke in the bathrooms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm most afraid that by him accepting he's giving up high school and being a kid in place of four years of additional college. TJ seems very collegiate to me. On one hand that's nice and preparatory. On another, it feels like skipping part of childhood.

NP. I would love to dig into this a little deeper if that's okay. In what sense are you worried about him "giving up high school"? I'm genuinely curious, as my TJ experience was outstanding once I was able to find my people.

It's also worth noting that accepting the offer of admission to TJ is not a four-year commitment. If it's not the right fit, he can absolutely leave and transition pretty seamlessly into his base school while being ahead of the game from an academic sense.

Less time for quintessential American high school traditions and more time spent on studying and academic pursuits. The low wage job learning the value of the dollar, working and hanging out at home after school with family and friends, sports, dating, service, and just doing kid stuff and messing up and learning from mistakes without as much pressure. It weird to be debating whether or not your child should attend a magnet school or work at the local hamburger joint, but if all feels rushed coming from a non-magnet school experience myself. I know many families have had this debate before for decades and there is no wrong answer. They can both work out positively.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm most afraid that by him accepting he's giving up high school and being a kid in place of four years of additional college. TJ seems very collegiate to me. On one hand that's nice and preparatory. On another, it feels like skipping part of childhood.

NP. I would love to dig into this a little deeper if that's okay. In what sense are you worried about him "giving up high school"? I'm genuinely curious, as my TJ experience was outstanding once I was able to find my people.

It's also worth noting that accepting the offer of admission to TJ is not a four-year commitment. If it's not the right fit, he can absolutely leave and transition pretty seamlessly into his base school while being ahead of the game from an academic sense.

I’m one of the PPs who attended TJ. I graduated in the late ‘90s and if you are close to my age, I’d argue that the TJ of today is nothing like it was when we attended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm most afraid that by him accepting he's giving up high school and being a kid in place of four years of additional college. TJ seems very collegiate to me. On one hand that's nice and preparatory. On another, it feels like skipping part of childhood.

NP. I would love to dig into this a little deeper if that's okay. In what sense are you worried about him "giving up high school"? I'm genuinely curious, as my TJ experience was outstanding once I was able to find my people.

It's also worth noting that accepting the offer of admission to TJ is not a four-year commitment. If it's not the right fit, he can absolutely leave and transition pretty seamlessly into his base school while being ahead of the game from an academic sense.

Less time for quintessential American high school traditions and more time spent on studying and academic pursuits. The low wage job learning the value of the dollar, working and hanging out at home after school with family and friends, sports, dating, service, and just doing kid stuff and messing up and learning from mistakes without as much pressure. It weird to be debating whether or not your child should attend a magnet school or work at the local hamburger joint, but if all feels rushed coming from a non-magnet school experience myself. I know many families have had this debate before for decades and there is no wrong answer. They can both work out positively.

Honestly, I did all of these things while I was at TJ:

- I worked summer camps over the summer;
- I hung out with friends doing extracurricular activities that I enjoyed after school;
- I played a varsity sport for two years, and sub-varsity the other two years;
- I volunteered through 8th period at a school right near TJ for kids with developmental disabilities;
- and I made a TON of mistakes.

...and I still graduated from my dream school four years after I left TJ.

The pressure cooker atmosphere and comparison culture is much less significant now than it used to be. The biggest thing I would repeat is that you don't want to play the "what if" game years down the road, wondering if your kid passed up on a golden opportunity. At least if he tries it and it doesn't work out, you'll know.

[Anonymous]

My kid has graduated TJ but played 3 varsity sports, had a girlfriend and social life, had summer jobs, made it into a T10 university. It's absolutely doable if that's what your kid wants.

[Anonymous]

If the kid is competitive and excellent in academics, it will not be easy four year whether they are at TJ/Langley/McLean/Oakton/Chantilly/... There are competitions everywhere at the top. (You do want them to be challenged, don't you? or retire in HS?) If the kid has a STRONG opinion of accepting the offer or not, I would let the kid decide. If the kid doesn't really care, the parent decides for them. Unlike many other countries, in the US the error tolerance is pretty high. A talented kid will shine, whether attending TJ or not.

[Anonymous]

Op, he registered to take the exam. He got in. Frankly, none of your story matters. His journey with whatever twists and turns are ahead is his, his alone. Don't try to think you know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the kid is competitive and excellent in academics, it will not be easy four year whether they are at TJ/Langley/McLean/Oakton/Chantilly/... There are competitions everywhere at the top. (You do want them to be challenged, don't you? or retire in HS?) If the kid has a STRONG opinion of accepting the offer or not, I would let the kid decide. If the kid doesn't really care, the parent decides for them. Unlike many other countries, in the US the error tolerance is pretty high. A talented kid will shine, whether attending TJ or not.

My 8th grade algebra 1 student has a higher chance of achieving a high GPA at base school than at TJ, where a higher level of calculus math is forced onto them. Is it not?

[Anonymous]

I would argue that a highly driven gifted student could be miserable at a base high school with weaker teachers and peer group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the kid is competitive and excellent in academics, it will not be easy four year whether they are at TJ/Langley/McLean/Oakton/Chantilly/... There are competitions everywhere at the top. (You do want them to be challenged, don't you? or retire in HS?) If the kid has a STRONG opinion of accepting the offer or not, I would let the kid decide. If the kid doesn't really care, the parent decides for them. Unlike many other countries, in the US the error tolerance is pretty high. A talented kid will shine, whether attending TJ or not.

My 8th grade algebra 1 student has a higher chance of achieving a high GPA at base school than at TJ, where a higher level of calculus math is forced onto them. Is it not?

Why are you concerned with GPA?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the kid is competitive and excellent in academics, it will not be easy four year whether they are at TJ/Langley/McLean/Oakton/Chantilly/... There are competitions everywhere at the top. (You do want them to be challenged, don't you? or retire in HS?) If the kid has a STRONG opinion of accepting the offer or not, I would let the kid decide. If the kid doesn't really care, the parent decides for them. Unlike many other countries, in the US the error tolerance is pretty high. A talented kid will shine, whether attending TJ or not.

Mainly just don't want them to burn out.