Parents – please tell your teens to stop talking about their mental health when applying for jobs!

[Anonymous]

It’s social contagion at this point.

Just like gender dysphoria and transgenderism. A tiny percentage, sure, but at current trends among Gen Z and younger, it’s purely a social trend.

[Anonymous]

I teach high school and it’s become rampant. They’ll say stuff like “I have anxiety so I don’t like being cold.” Actually nobody likes being cold, that’s just being a person. A couple years ago a kid asked to go to the bathroom and I said sure and then they go “some days I’ll go to the girl bathroom and some days the boys because I was actually born intersex with both parts.” Like please just go to the bathroom and don’t talk to your teacher about your reproductive organs, I didn’t need to know that. One girl pulled me out in the hallway last year to tell me she’s never been officially diagnosed with it but she knew she had ARFID so could she write her narrative about a food she hates instead of a food she likes. Girl, 😭 just write.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I teach high school and it’s become rampant. They’ll say stuff like “I have anxiety so I don’t like being cold.” Actually nobody likes being cold, that’s just being a person. A couple years ago a kid asked to go to the bathroom and I said sure and then they go “some days I’ll go to the girl bathroom and some days the boys because I was actually born intersex with both parts.” Like please just go to the bathroom and don’t talk to your teacher about your reproductive organs, I didn’t need to know that. One girl pulled me out in the hallway last year to tell me she’s never been officially diagnosed with it but she knew she had ARFID so could she write her narrative about a food she hates instead of a food she likes. Girl, 😭 just write.

Reading this post makes me so happy I left teaching.

[Anonymous]

My spouse is a high school teacher and this happens regularly:

- Kid who rarely comes to class decides to show up.
- Kid sits in the back of the classroom and starts watching tiktok with no headphones, so it’s loud and distracting
- Teacher tells kid to put on headphones
- Kid refuses
-Teacher tells kid to put on headphones again
- Kid refuses again, and yells at teacher
- Teacher tells kid to leave
- Kid leaves
- 30 minutes later, kid shows up with a guidance counselor, who requests a meeting outside in the hallway with the teacher + kid. During class.
- Teacher sighs and tells them that there’s a class going on right now. Teacher is trying to teach.
- Guidance counselor ridiculously insists on a hallway meeting.
- Teacher steps outside, kid is crying because teacher is picking on the kid, blah blah blah

When all is said and done, in best cases the kid transfers to a new class to avoid the mean bad teacher. In worst cases, the kid pulls this crap daily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well the reality is kids who have anxiety will probably deal with the kids at camp with anxiety.

Kids who have done therapy probably are more empathetic than those that just think everything in everyone’s life is peachy keen.

None of this is true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m going to be a devil’s advocate for a minute and say that they’re helping destigmatize mental health issues by talking about them up front instead of hiding them out of shame. Also, we wouldn’t expect someone with an obvious physical disability, like using a wheelchair, to have to hide that in an interview, so why should people who have limitations due to mental health have to be deceptive.

I do agree that it is not to their benefit to disclose these issues in a cover letter and that it’s unprofessional to do so. I think there is more gray area when bringing it up during an actual interview, but it is probably best left unsaid.

It’s not about hiding something or being deceptive. It’s about using discretion.

I bet those same applicants would hide if they were applying pregnant or with an STD, or if they were being physically or verbally abused all day every day. No one announces in an interview that they have herpes or crab lice.

These teens and young adults know what to share and what not to share. They’re sharing their mental health stuff as a form of manipulation to try and get the interviewer to see them a certain way, and maybe even to setup the stage for filing a discrimination lawsuit at some point in the future. This oversharing is not being done for any altruistic purposes.

[Anonymous]

Has anyone had an applicant show up to an interview with an emotional support animal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s ridiculous. It’s one thing to discuss accommodations with HR. As a hiring manager, hard pass on someone talking about mental health in an interview. That’s a flag for high maintenance/high drama (not that they have issues… that they feel need to share).

And very hard pass on having my own kids have these types of teenagers as their role models. It’s not de stigmatizing, it’s attention seeking and obnoxious.

Agreed.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for the PSA.

I had to take some time to explain to my son that he couldn't talk about his mental health on his internship applications, and that from now on (post college apps, where he had to explain a reduced schedule), his mental health cannot be discussed in the professional sphere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for the PSA.

I had to take some time to explain to my son that he couldn't talk about his mental health on his internship applications, and that from now on (post college apps, where he had to explain a reduced schedule), his mental health cannot be discussed in the professional sphere.

I mean this is just solid advice. Kids now think it’s like some massive party of their identity that must be shared but you wouldn’t go into a job interview talking about your high blood pressure or your hemorrhoids or that you’re allergic to sulfa drugs - regular health issues aren’t trotted out that way so I’m not sure why they seem to think mental health should be. It’s not to stigmatize it, I just don’t think young people have any concept that not all aspects of your life should be or need to be on public display.

[Anonymous]

The boundaries are so off. I had a college teen applying for an internship share about the advocacy she does on IG to raise awareness for a cause. Wonderful. I took a look. Mixed in she has stories and posts of herself posing in a bikini with friends on the beach or wearing a lingerie top and jeans out on the town. In most of those photos she is trying to look as sexy as possible pushing her chest out, even licking her kips.

This young woman is lucky I am a normal middle age mom and not seem creepy creeper. It made me incredibly uncomfortable and it showed me she has not developed appropriate boundaries. Not what we want for an intern. Save it for your private IG account. It made me nervous we could have some very awkward situations at work event and with clients if she considers this female empowerment and she thinks it's totally fine to show these photos to her potential supervisor.

[Anonymous]

[Y]ou wouldn’t go into a job interview talking about your high blood pressure or your hemorrhoids or that you’re allergic to sulfa drugs - regular health issues aren’t trotted out that way so I’m not sure why they seem to think mental health should be. It’s not to stigmatize it, I just don’t think young people have any concept that not all aspects of your life should be or need to be on public display.

This is it in a nutshell -- well said! And so true. DH has ulcerative colitis and is also a fairly high profile atty and the two of us have rehearsed over the years to develop talking points for him to AVOID talking about his stomach cramps and urgent poop and unexpected days out of the office (when a big deal was going on). Meaning, how to sound 100% professional and competent and ready to do ALL the work and yet tending to very real health needs that are often unpredictable.

The rainmaking partners don't want to hear about your diarrhea and they also don't want to hear details about the mornings you "just can't" because of your anxiety. They really do not.

[Anonymous]

Don't high schools have a class where they practice mock interviews, resume writing etc? They should be learning this there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Times have changed. I do some interviewing of recent college grads for our org and a significant percentage of them mention being in therapy.

I'd be glad that they were upfront about this, so I'd know not to hire them. I don't want mentally unstable people working for me! Also, I would not want to deal with them missing work for therapy.

This is where we’ve failed. So many “mentally unstable” people walking around who refuse to consider therapy. Mental health is a spectrum. Being in therapy has no bearing on where a person falls at that moment in time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

[Y]ou wouldn’t go into a job interview talking about your high blood pressure or your hemorrhoids or that you’re allergic to sulfa drugs - regular health issues aren’t trotted out that way so I’m not sure why they seem to think mental health should be. It’s not to stigmatize it, I just don’t think young people have any concept that not all aspects of your life should be or need to be on public display.

This is it in a nutshell -- well said! And so true. DH has ulcerative colitis and is also a fairly high profile atty and the two of us have rehearsed over the years to develop talking points for him to AVOID talking about his stomach cramps and urgent poop and unexpected days out of the office (when a big deal was going on). Meaning, how to sound 100% professional and competent and ready to do ALL the work and yet tending to very real health needs that are often unpredictable.

The rainmaking partners don't want to hear about your diarrhea and they also don't want to hear details about the mornings you "just can't" because of your anxiety. They really do not.

Why would they not? Every single person in the world poops, including the people working with your DH. There is even a CHILDREN'S book about the topic. Yet people still have to use euphemisms like "going to the bathroom" or "doing your business" when you can just say poop, diarrhea, etc.