Is it too late to be part of something important?

[Anonymous]

Dog/gar rescue is the traditional place for lonely old ladies to bond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is OP's use of "exclusive" that is getting her all the negative responses. I don't take it to be meaning something that only certain people can get into but rather something that is tight knit because not everyone does it. DH and I found our community through a martial arts dojo. Not exclusive at all, but it is a small community that is around each other a lot. I didn't find my community in my various volunteer activities because the volunteers came and went and there wasn't a lot of consistency of who I spent a lot of time with.

OP, what are your interests? I think that can help narrow it down of how you can find your community.

envy

jumped out at me too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:3 pages in and OP refuses to answer the simple question of wth a GAL is.

No sympathy from me.

Maybe she's sick of your nasty attitude and doesn't feel like playing Google for you.

[Anonymous]

At your age, yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:3 pages in and OP refuses to answer the simple question of wth a GAL is.

No sympathy from me.

Guardian ad litem

Helping kids who are facing the legal system without parents.

[Anonymous]

Why do you envy these people? Is it because they’re still very close to their former teammates/fellow soldiers? Or is it that their lives are otherwise enviable and you observed that they had the common element of a close knit bond with others in the past?

If it’s the former, I think you’re out of luck. The examples you gave occurred in their youth. Most people are not going to form intense life long bonds with a group beyond their early 20s. After that, they start investing in career/family. You’re not going to experience a similar connection with people unless you are in close proximity on a daily basis and working hard toward a shared goal. I don’t know what that could be at age 50 that wouldn’t involve significant stress and hardship, such as providing medical services in a developing country.

If it’s the latter, they’re probably much more socially gifted than you are, and it’s made them successful in personal and professional relationships. I am not trying to insult you- I say this as someone who is not socially gifted myself.

Why aren’t you close to family and friends? Maybe work on reaching out the ones you do have instead of fantasizing about this untrainable community bond. Honestly you sound like my mom- passively watching the world go by and feeling sorry for herself rather than picking up the phone to call her kids if she’s lonely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your question rubs me the wrong way, OP. Instead of contributing something useful to society, you want to be part of an exclusive group, regardless of which one it is?

DH and I are research scientists who work in cancer research. The people I most admire have always been the people who serve humanity through their profession or their volunteer work. Teachers, nurses, managers of soup kitchens or animal shelters, specialists who risk their lives working for Doctors Without Borders on the frontlines of war. My cousin, who works for an organization building refugee camps for Syrians in North Africa.

Such people, as a group, have my entire admiration and respect.

I'm glad you have ways of meeting your community needs. I do not. I am absolutely, 100% alone. It's devastated my mental health. Your insistence that I don't deserve both community and being of use to society rubs me the wrong way.

A sour attitude may be the reason you are alone and believe you are if no use to society. Rise above that and start doing things like delivering meals on wheels, working at a animal shelter, and doing other volunteer work that will lead you to something you like and can use to propel you into the life and community you want.

Report back by Monday on the steps you have taken or continue to wallow.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry but it's really probably too late. 51 years old...you have maybe 10 more really good years left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry but it's really probably too late. 51 years old...you have maybe 10 more really good years left.

This is hilarious. You don’t know many people over 60, do you?

[Anonymous]

If you post your town, I can give more tailored options, however you should consider one or some of the following:

- General Federation of Women's Clubs - find your local chapter. GFWC groups do amazing things, large and small. We raise money for causes, donate time, meals to organizations feeding the unhoused, clothing, quick escape bags to domestic violence shelters, advocate on legislation, and more.

- Lions Club or Rotary Clubs - find your local chapter

- donate time to parks and trails clean ups https://montgomeryparks.org/support/volunteer/

- volunteer at Red Cross or local animal shelter

- become a foster parent to children (or animals)

- become part of your local government

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you post your town, I can give more tailored options, however you should consider one or some of the following:

- General Federation of Women's Clubs - find your local chapter. GFWC groups do amazing things, large and small. We raise money for causes, donate time, meals to organizations feeding the unhoused, clothing, quick escape bags to domestic violence shelters, advocate on legislation, and more.

- Lions Club or Rotary Clubs - find your local chapter

- donate time to parks and trails clean ups https://montgomeryparks.org/support/volunteer/

- volunteer at Red Cross or local animal shelter

- become a foster parent to children (or animals)

- become part of your local government

But if read the thread, you'd realize OP is above all that, and wants to be in "EXCLUSIVE GROUPS".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you post your town, I can give more tailored options, however you should consider one or some of the following:

- General Federation of Women's Clubs - find your local chapter. GFWC groups do amazing things, large and small. We raise money for causes, donate time, meals to organizations feeding the unhoused, clothing, quick escape bags to domestic violence shelters, advocate on legislation, and more.

- Lions Club or Rotary Clubs - find your local chapter

- donate time to parks and trails clean ups https://montgomeryparks.org/support/volunteer/

- volunteer at Red Cross or local animal shelter

- become a foster parent to children (or animals)

- become part of your local government

But if read the thread, you'd realize OP is above all that, and wants to be in "EXCLUSIVE GROUPS".

Then you've got to pay to join the country club groupies. I'm not a golfer, and it's too expensive for me to keep up with a social membership. There are lots of important things going on in the world that need people, and that's where you make new, adult friendships outside of raising kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I look back at the friends and family whose lives I envy, and they each one thing - they were a part of something larger than themselves, a group that had kinship-like ties. Whether that was college athletics, the military, even an MLB player, they were part of a "exclusive" community. There's nothing like that for a woman pushing 50, right?

Go become a nurse. Seriously. You’re not too old for it, and you’ll become part of something bigger than yourself and find a community.

[Anonymous]

The first thing to think about is what's actually important to you. If it's art, I wouldn't say you should do animal rescue. If it's cats, I wouldn't say be a docent at a museum.

You could also look into Rotary, Junior League, Zonta, or Soroptimist.

[Anonymous]

Animal rescues need assistance if you're into that.

Petey and Furends is one that I highly recommend.