Any other moms out just not order when you eat with your family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this sends a depressing message to kids. It's the kind of thing I could see my mom doing when I was a kid, because she was a martyr to motherhood and would constantly set aside her own needs to accommodate a tight budget or something her kids needed. It was messed up.

We do go places where we can take home leftovers, and we order with an eye towards leftovers when choosing food for kids, knowing they don't eat as much. Often we can get 3 meals for them out of one restaurant order because many restaurants just serve so much food. It's also pretty common for me to only eat half my meal and then have the rest for lunch the next day. So no food waste and it's pretty economical.

I remember watching my mother do this kind of stuff throughout my childhood and concluding that women should
Never get married because it sucked. Why should you work as hard as your husband professionally and at home and at the end of the day have to pick up everybody’s socks and eat other peoples rejected food? Sends a very depressing message to your daughters, never mind what it’s teaching your sons about women and their place in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this sends a depressing message to kids. It's the kind of thing I could see my mom doing when I was a kid, because she was a martyr to motherhood and would constantly set aside her own needs to accommodate a tight budget or something her kids needed. It was messed up.

We do go places where we can take home leftovers, and we order with an eye towards leftovers when choosing food for kids, knowing they don't eat as much. Often we can get 3 meals for them out of one restaurant order because many restaurants just serve so much food. It's also pretty common for me to only eat half my meal and then have the rest for lunch the next day. So no food waste and it's pretty economical.

I agree. I used to do this for some of the reasons OP listed (seemed wasteful, expensive, I don’t care that much etc) but don’t now because my kids started making comments like “why didn’t you get food?”, “why do all us boys just eat and you dont?”. I have all boys and I hated the idea that they were internalizing the idea that dad+kids treat themselves and mom eats the leftovers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do but it ends up being embarrassing because I often AM hungry and I do want food but my kids and DH are massive eaters. It’s frustrating because even a trip to Taco Bell costs like $40. I end up ordering something small for myself and then hoping my kids don’t finish their food. The whole thing is just kinda sad. I’m pushing for us to eat out less because it’s so expensive and I’m sick of what hogs my family members are. I wish they’d understand they don’t have to ALWAYS get every single item that they want.

You should get the Taco Bell app. The craving boxes are 1/3 the price of what it would cost without the app and are a ton of food.

No one should eat at Taco Bell, at all.

[Anonymous]

It’s not uncommon for us to split 3 entrees between the 4 of us so there are no leftovers. But I would not eat their leftovers—there’s a tonal difference.

[Anonymous]

My mother was like this. It was more a money thing. I vivid remember thinking it was so strange how she had no favorites, no preferences. She was divorced and I remember the shopping list consisted only of food I liked and her eating my leftovers and whatever scraps my grandmother would give her when she babysat me.

To this day I'm really happy when I see my mom order a nice steak and get dessert.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a PP. it’s not about an ED (I’m fat!) or martyrdom. If something really tickled my fancy I’d order it but I don’t care about eating yet another grilled chicken sandwich with a side of friends. I might as well get something small and pick off the other plates that they won’t finish anyway.

Fat ppl can have eating disorders too.

What kind of restaurants do you go to that only have grilled chicken sandwiches and fries? Try eating like an adult.

Restaurants that have kids menus to accommodate 4 and 6 year olds. If we go to Maydan for lunch after swimming I will certainly order my own meal.

[Anonymous]

I share food with my kids (especially the 2 year old. I’d never order her a meal. She just wouldn’t eat it). I wouldn’t eat after them in public, but I do it at home.

[Anonymous]

Easy solution: Don't take your kids to restaurants that won't split an entree or have a cheaper kids menu.

Alternative solution if you must take your kids somewhere fancy: Take home your children's leftovers and make them eat it for lunch the next day.

[Anonymous]

It depends how hungry I am and whether I really want something or what the situation is for my daughter to order but yeah if somehow she has to order from the adult menu lately I have been splitting with her even if I don’t want chicken fingers for example. If I thought we could easily take it home I would be less likely to that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother was like this. It was more a money thing. I vivid remember thinking it was so strange how she had no favorites, no preferences. She was divorced and I remember the shopping list consisted only of food I liked and her eating my leftovers and whatever scraps my grandmother would give her when she babysat me.

To this day I'm really happy when I see my mom order a nice steak and get dessert.

Wow. I hope your mom is happy. It sounds like she sacrificed a lot for you.

[Anonymous]

I sometimes did this because I am cheap, picky, and don’t like to see food wasted. I don’t think it’s a big deal. Now that my kids are older and more likely to finish their meals, I rarely skip ordering. I don’t see why people need to shame others so much.

[Anonymous]

^not picky, I mean

[Anonymous]

Depending on the restaurant, I might order an appetizer as my dinner (lookin at you, Cheesecake Factory) or an entree salad. But it's not sacrificing, that's just genuinely what I want to eat.

When my kids were really little, I sometimes split a meal with one of them, but we'd talk about it together, decide on something we both wanted, and eat it together. If anyone was still hungry when the plate was empty, we'd order another side or get dessert.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother was like this. It was more a money thing. I vivid remember thinking it was so strange how she had no favorites, no preferences. She was divorced and I remember the shopping list consisted only of food I liked and her eating my leftovers and whatever scraps my grandmother would give her when she babysat me.

To this day I'm really happy when I see my mom order a nice steak and get dessert.

Wow. I hope your mom is happy. It sounds like she sacrificed a lot for you.

Yes, she is in a much better place now, thank you!

[Anonymous]

Yeah, no. I dislike the message that it sends to my kids about mom sacrificing her own meal or enjoyment of the experience for their sake. It also gives me eating disorder vibes, which I don’t want my kids (especially my daughter) picking up from me. I’m not going to a restaurant to eat leftover pieces of cold chicken tenders and fries. I can do that at home! I want a nice meal and a drink!
We have three kids under 10 so we admittedly don’t eat out much because it’s expensive and at times, stressful. I eat dinner with my kids every night.