Question for white, upper middle class moms
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Anonymous
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I am an Asian-American mom of ES kids. I was born in the Midwestern US. I had more non-Asian friends than Asian-American friends my entire life and married a non-Asian. Since being a mom, I feel really left out of the mom social scene, despite my best efforts to be involved. I always figured it was something about me as an individual but, on DCUM, I see there is a lot of negativity towards and stereotyping of Asians. I don't know if this is actually common in real life in the DC area. I am shocked by the attitude because part of what I like about this area is the diversity.
My question is whether you feel less comfortable befriending someone who is non-white, or specifically of Asian origin, than you do someone who is white. This is an anonymous forum, so please be honest. |
Anonymous
| Not at all, honestly. I think DCUM is not representative of people at large. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| No, not even close to my reality. I have quite a few non-white friends. |
Anonymous
| No, I don't. But by DCUM standards, I'm not upper middle class, I'm poor. Which supports the PPs' statement that DCUM does not reflect reality. |
Anonymous
| No, I don't feel uncomfortable at all. I live in an area that is majority Asian and I don't feel any barriers to acceptance. I'm happy to mix and vice versa, just as I would with Caucasian moms. Within the Asian community, there are moms that I'm more likely to "click" with than others, but on the whole we already have plenty in common since our kids go to the same schools, compete on the same teams, shop in the same stores, work in the same areas, kwim? Race really plays no role in our interactions aside from stories about our parents, etc...though in general we have more in common than we are different. |
Anonymous
Same here. We are in West Bethesda and have many close Asian friends. If you are friendly or funny (whether or not you are friendly) I will enjoy hanging out with you. |
Anonymous
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No, I think it's hard to make friends in this area, but I don't think being white or Asian is the reason. It's just hard to make friends in a transient area, when you're older (people are more flexible and make friends easier when they're younger), and when you're super busy.
If I knew you, I'd love to have you over (once I've cleaned the house), or we could meet at a park for a playdate. I'd like more friends too. |
Anonymous
| Here's my honest answer - I would love to befriend moms of other races - but I've sometimes found that they aren't necessarily interested in that. I'm not trying to generalize and realize all people are different - so maybe I'll just keep trying. |
Anonymous
| I don't know where you live, but my best Mom friend is of Asian descent. We are in Alex. |
Anonymous
| I married an Asian immigrant, so, nope! To be totally honest, it's DH who is far more averse to hanging out with other Asians, particularly gyopos (raised in America). I think he just doesn't quite know what to do with them. Regardless... unless you're giving off some kind of crazy Tiger Mom vibe, which it doesn't sound like you are, I would not think you'll meet very many white people who care much. |
Anonymous
now that I think about it - some of the white moms aren't really interested either. but I have found a few mom friends. as another poster stated - it may be a hard area in which to make friends. |
Anonymous
| I get annoyed when others are obsessed with their heritage (whatever it may be). |
Anonymous
what does that mean? |
Anonymous
| Where abouts do you live OP? I'm Asian, married to non-Asian DH, and we live in Rockville. I have gotten to know both Asian and non-Asian moms, but they have similar outlook on parenting, education, etc... as me. No, I'm not a tiger-mom. |