Wife says I should not go back to school. Agree?

[Anonymous]

We have one child left at home, who is going to HS. I am very interested in going back to school for a graduate program. I would start PT, but it is a long drive to campus and the program does require project work. So figure one night a week with class followed by group meetings and probably a couple of Saturdays during the term. Plus studying during the week, which I would try to do before work and on my lunch hour. Couple of reasons I want to go back. First, I am very interested in learning the material in the program. Second, it is at a very good university and quite frankly, I would like a degree from this institution. I did not have my act together when picking an undergrad school and at some level, have something I want to prove.

My wife says the #1 concern should be getting our child through the last few years of HS and that graduate school should wait. I am not getting any younger and if the program is going to take me 2-3 years and I tack on the years of HS left, that is a long time before I would get the degree and use it in my career.

So what is your opinion? What would you do if your husband wanted to do this? What else should I consider in my decision-making process?

[Anonymous]

What is your current education level? What is the degree you want and job prospects?

[Anonymous]

How much will it cost?

What will you get out of it professionally? Interest and having something to prove aren't enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much will it cost?

What will you get out of it professionally? Interest and having something to prove aren't enough.

+1. At your age, interests and wants can't come before financial security/retirement/job increases.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much will it cost?

What will you get out of it professionally? Interest and having something to prove aren't enough.

OP here. Already have a masters and professional license but want a more entrepreneurial direction. I am also counting on the program to provide the network that can help me with this. Total cost would be about $48K.

[Anonymous]

As the parent of a HSer, I am on your side of this. You are at the point with your kids where they are really independent and don't need you much day to day. You will have plenty of time for what your child needs. Raising a family is a lot of work and as parents we put our lives on hold to an extent, albeit quite willingly. So long as financially you can afford it, I just can't see why you shouldn't do it. Education does not always have to be about the next career move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As the parent of a HSer, I am on your side of this. You are at the point with your kids where they are really independent and don't need you much day to day. You will have plenty of time for what your child needs. Raising a family is a lot of work and as parents we put our lives on hold to an extent, albeit quite willingly. So long as financially you can afford it, I just can't see why you shouldn't do it. Education does not always have to be about the next career move.

I will be cobbling together the funding and understand retirement is not far away. But a mitigating factor is that I am in a company not doing well that will probably be sold within a couple of years. So it is very frustrating to sit every day and not do something about my predicament.

[Anonymous]

Have you saved for your HS daughter's college education already?

It will be a long time before you will reap any financial reward from the graduate program -- is that what you mean by using it in your career?

I am all for education, including advanced degrees, but when my ex went through this process, he just needed the degree...not from the most expensive or prestigious school. He was in his mid-30s at the time.

Prove to yourself you can do it? Prove to someone else? Agree, if it's just to get the degree, maybe you should wait...

[Anonymous]

If you already have a masters, I see no benefit to going back to school. What's your current masters in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you saved for your HS daughter's college education already?

It will be a long time before you will reap any financial reward from the graduate program -- is that what you mean by using it in your career?

I am all for education, including advanced degrees, but when my ex went through this process, he just needed the degree...not from the most expensive or prestigious school. He was in his mid-30s at the time.

Prove to yourself you can do it? Prove to someone else? Agree, if it's just to get the degree, maybe you should wait...

The proving is that I went to a second/third tier undergrad. I always wanted to know what it is like to have a prestigious school on my resume. Maybe it's an insecurity but a feeling is a feeling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you already have a masters, I see no benefit to going back to school. What's your current masters in?

MBA, school generally ranked 12ish.

[Anonymous]

If my husband and I were in this situation this would be a decision that both of us would have to fully support in order to say yes. Here is what I expect we would be wrestling in terms of factors:

- remaining time with child
- drain on family and spouse time
- financial drain, especially at a time when facing college costs for child
- fulfillment of a dream
- the example set by a parent when going back to school can be very powerful
- likelihood of the education paying off significantly (in emotional/financial/career/self-worth measures)
- level of want versus need involved in the desire to pursue the degree
- cost/benefit analysis for the family, marriage and other relationships that might be impacted by one person undertaking something like this.

To be honest, it would be a pretty tough sell in our house. I would love to go back to graduate school (and I too feel a bit of the "something to prove" issue) but it would do significantly more harm that good to my marriage and my relationship with my kids. So it would be a non-starter for us. If my husband wanted to do it and I sensed on some level that it was as much out of personal vanity, or if I felt that it was a pipe dream pursuit in terms of entrepreneurial opportunities, then I'd be opposed.

I'm not saying that's what's going on w/ you and this program, but those would be among my concerns.

[Anonymous]

If college and retirement are paid for Irvin track for being paid for, I think it's fine. Will paying the $50k significantly hurt DW's lifestyle? That's easier to stomach at 25 vs. 45.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, with the graduate degrees you already have, it doesn't seem to make sense to sink in another $48k for another degree. I know you mentioned wanting to move in a more entrepreneurial direction an that school may help provide a network, but consider the options you have to build your own business without sinking the tuition of another degree. Consider the time and earnings you're foregoing to take this course, and whether it's realistic to believe that the additional schooling will pay off.

Perhaps you feel like you're in a rut, but if so, I don't think that school is necessarily the answer at this stage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If my husband and I were in this situation this would be a decision that both of us would have to fully support in order to say yes. Here is what I expect we would be wrestling in terms of factors:

- remaining time with child
- drain on family and spouse time
- financial drain, especially at a time when facing college costs for child
- fulfillment of a dream
- the example set by a parent when going back to school can be very powerful
- likelihood of the education paying off significantly (in emotional/financial/career/self-worth measures)
- level of want versus need involved in the desire to pursue the degree
- cost/benefit analysis for the family, marriage and other relationships that might be impacted by one person undertaking something like this.

To be honest, it would be a pretty tough sell in our house. I would love to go back to graduate school (and I too feel a bit of the "something to prove" issue) but it would do significantly more harm that good to my marriage and my relationship with my kids. So it would be a non-starter for us. If my husband wanted to do it and I sensed on some level that it was as much out of personal vanity, or if I felt that it was a pipe dream pursuit in terms of entrepreneurial opportunities, then I'd be opposed.

I'm not saying that's what's going on w/ you and this program, but those would be among my concerns.

Honey, is that you? My children actually saw me go back to get my professional license and were proud of their dad. I just want to do something different, get the "chip off my shoulder about non-prestigious" undergrad, plug into a new network, and learn more about another area so that I can meet up with people who also want to start companies as well as the venture capital people who are interested in graduates of this program,.