Does your close friend often tell you about the play dates her kids are having?

[Anonymous]

My friend and I have kids the same age. She often tells me about the other kids she's having over to play with her dd. She doesn't invite us over though. I wonder why but I don't ask. It does bother me but how do I ask this without sounding petty? I just end up letting it go but when it comes up again it bothers me all over again.

[Anonymous]

Do you invite her and the kids over for playdates?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you invite her and the kids over for playdates?

Yes. Overall I invite her to more things- with and without her child.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she thinks it's up to you to say "Sounds great, can Larla and I swing by too?"

[Anonymous]

If she does not invite you at all, then she's very rude.
If however, she invites you sometimes but also makes time for socializing with other people, then that's her choice, isn't it? Doesn't mean she doesn't like you.

[Anonymous]

Are your kids friends too? Perhaps she is inviting school friends of her child?

[Anonymous]

I do this with close friends sometimes. It's callous of me, I think of them like family so sometimes forget it might hurt their feelings. I also do it when I'm intending to invite both them and the other friend.

[Anonymous]

That's obnoxious. I'll sometimes mention to a good friend that we saw so-and-so, but I only do that when she's over at our house for a playdate. I only mention it by means of catching up (if it's a mutual friend). I can't imagine not reciprocating with playdates, let alone then telling someone about the other people I've invited over.

You're not being petty, OP, she's being a jerk. Not someone I'd consider a friend.

[Anonymous]

Thanks PPs. I feel weird about it. She's very nice and I have invited myself once or twice just to get things jump started but it doesn't go past that. Incidentally she accepts all invitations from me so I don't think she doesn't not like me. Ah- feels very high school to me, I know.

[Anonymous]

She is probably the bragging type - you know, the ones that post every awesome detail about their life on facebook so everyone thinks her life is amazing. It makes her feel better to make sure someone thinks her kids have lots of friends. I have two friends like this and i know them well enoguh to know how insecure they are.

[Anonymous]

How old are the kids? My 7 and 5 year old are starting to specify who they want to do playdates with, the 7 year old has started her own address book. We have one or two families that are go-tos because the kids get along so well and they live close by. Also when we do playdates I don;t make it open invite - I want my DD to be able to focus on her friend that is there, not have to referee a tug-of-war over the Frozen Elsa doll.

[Anonymous]

It is also possible she doesn't think the kids get along all that well?

[Anonymous]

She may just want one kid at a time. I know sometimes it's hard to manage the flow if there are multiples of kids over. She may just have a lot of friends so has play dates every so often with each of them. I wouldn't take it personally of you are friends. Invite her over to your place. If she never invites you back well then maybe she doesn't like your kid. I have a friend that I really like but her kid annoys me.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, don't understand why everyone thinks it's rude.

My good friend recounts her week to me during our chats, and of course it includes playdates with other friends. Occasionally I have heard about some child who did not behave, or playdates which went swimmingly, etc. I tell her all about my week, too. We get together as much as our hectic schedules allow, but that doesn't mean we can't invite other people and tell each other about it.

So... ?

[Anonymous]

I do this. Rotate playdates with different friends all the time. Too many kids in the house is overwhelming and honestly 50% of the time they are made in that hour and are made up of closest in proximity. if its with moms ulits based on which personalies work best together. With this said I rotate between 15 moms and can't imagine hosting everyone at once. 2-3 at a time is my limit for a productive playdate. No big deal imo. You don't know if her social circle is bigger and she has to host back for dates she's attended.