DW Does this Sh*t All the Time
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Anonymous
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I am so pissed at DW right now. The last two weeks at work have been very very busy. I work for a Fed agency in the international department. We are the lead on the U.S. relationship with a major world power. This week we had Ministerial level meetings in Washington. I have been working late and coming in early because of it. DW announces last night that she was not going to take DD to school yeterday and that I would have to do it. I told her - and she already knew this - that I could not because the Ministerial was yesterday and I would be in meetings from 8:00 am until 3:00 pm and that I would need to be in the office at 7:00 am.
I was fully prepared to call her on this, and if my DD did not get to school it would be DW's fault. I would like to see how that behavior would play out for a judge in a custody hearing if DW cannot be a reliable parent. She does this sh*t all the time. She creates chaos for no reason other than to seemingly get everyone all riled up - me, my daughter - and then to paint me as the "bad guy" who obviously see his "career" as more important than his family. And she will always do this when she knows it is impossible for me to meet whatever need of the moment she seems to have. Note: She is SAHM. I am more than happy to drive my DD to school, take her to practices, whatever. However, when there are times I cannot because I am the sole provider for the family and sometimes need to work long hours then she need to step up to the f**king plate and not deliberatly set out to prove how important she is with her "me me me" behavior. When she yelled at DD, DD shot right back and told her if she is angry with me not to take it out on her. I told DW that DD was right and she should not take her anger oout on DD. DW then told me to f**k off! Again, she knew a week ahead of time this would be a bad week for me. There was no life or death situation requiring my attention. She just had to be on her narcissistic bithc behavior for whatever unknown to me reason. I sooo want out of this marriage, but cannot afford to move out of the house and get my own place and I want custody. |
Anonymous
| Um, if you are working those hours, how would you be better suited to have custody? |
Anonymous
| Yeah sorry OP but custody ain't happening. |
Anonymous
| Oh dear, you're a guy writing in on this forum. Prepare to be attacked by everone. |
Anonymous
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Three thoughts:
1. why couldn't/wouldn't DW drive DD to school? 2. the important thing is that DD get to school. bus? Uber? carpool? 3. instead of freaking out that your wife has "caused a problem" why don't you just focus on finding a solution and call one of her friends parents to ask if they can take her, or arrange for UberX or something? Be productive. |
Anonymous
| Why did she need you to take DD to school? |
Anonymous
| PP Reading comprehension. He said that this was a bad WEEK, not that he always worked these hours. I'm sorry OP, marriages should work like a partnership and one partner picks up the slack for the other partner and vice versa. |
Anonymous
| That's a lot of information you put out there. |
Anonymous
Lots of women who work long hours have custody. Op - it sounds like your daughter is old enough to know what is going on. None of this is healthy for her and it sounds like all 3 of you are miserable. If your wife is deliberately trying to make your life difficult and make you look bad - your marriage is in big trouble. have you done any counseling? Do you want to save it? |
Anonymous
| It is really tough being a SAH during the times the other parent is absentee. It helps to have a team mentality rather than rivals. I know that doesn't help your situation now, but letting her know the light at the end of the tunnel and where you will be "back" helps. And of course you would rather be hanging with your kid a bit than nonstop working. And you appreciate her. All these things. Good luck. |
Anonymous
| Don't engage. Just say no and go to work. She will get the kid to school. |
Anonymous
Seriously? He said he needed to be in meetings from 8-3. Your wife sounds highly unreasonable. Why did she need you to take your daughter to school? I am a sahm and I do expect my husband to contribute at home, but I am understanding that sometimes his work does have to come first, as his paycheck allows us to provide a home for our child and for me to be at home with her. |
Anonymous
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Stop and think about it...
If she's creating chaos for no reason other than to get everyone all riled up then what is the logical solution? Don't get all riled up. Granted easier said than done but I'd suggest less a little experimentation into more indirect methods of rebuttal besides arguing. Next time she says at the last minute she's not going to take DD to school knowing you have other plans don't go off...don't object. Call a neighbor (in DW's presence this is key) and ask if they could help. Explain you have a meeting and DW the burdened and busy SAHM has something else on her agenda. Not only will the problem of getting DD to school be solved but it will illustrate to DW of just how obtuse and asinine she is being and on top of that bring it to the attention of friends/neighbors. Who's the bad guy now? |
Anonymous
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The problem here isn't what DW is or isn't doing. The problem is that you marriage is falling apart.
OP, are you willing to try counseling? You both sound very, very angry. |
Anonymous
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You sound like an ass. Ok. So you are far more important than your wife. We get it. Go tell a judge. You get huge child support and alimony and every other weekend visits. You said you are too busy to take your kid to school. So, how would parenting without her be?
Now, if I were you, I would say you are sorry and do something nice for her given all the hours you are working. |