Cluster feeding/human pacifier-don't know how long I can do this
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Anonymous
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FTM here....baby is a week and a half old and we had just gotten breast feeding relatively under control. Baby lost a lot of weight after birth and it has been increasing healthfully with the help of persistence and supplementary syringe feelings.
However, baby is now in the 7-10 day growth spurt window, has been for a couple of nights, and is either cluster feeling or using me as a human pacifier. I cannot put him down, I cannot even change nursing positions (so I have to hunch over and it's so uncomfortable) I don't know how to deal with this - I have gotten maybe 9hrs of sleep since we came home from the hospital and I cannot sustain this. My husband says we should bottle feed but I don't want to give up on the breast yet. This is having a huge emotional toll on me - I do not fee indeed to my baby and I cry multiple times a night from exhaustion. I don't want to end up resenting this time/stage but it its going in that direction. I have been to the breast feeding center and they helped with his latch and some other things, but he only behaves this way at night. Maybe he isn't getting enough food? Help!! |
Anonymous
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Omg. I have three kids... the youngest is three and I can remember EXACTLY how you are feeling. It sucks. Bad. You can't get your brain to think straight, you just want to be left alone for a while, and you feel like crap.
BUT.... this growth spurt will pass, and you'll get back to doing things a bit more normally. In the meantime, please sleep when the baby sleeps and try to get in a healthy meal. I know it sucks. I know it is hard. But you can do it. Hang in there. |
Anonymous
| Op here,....I resent my baby for this and that makes it worse. I don't feel connected to him other than to be sucked on. And I am in physical pain from the crouching. I know I can't ask "when does this end" but the idea that I have to return to work soon makes this worse. No sleep at all if this continues. And I hate crying while baby is suckling because I think the stress is felt |
Anonymous
| I was there too! One thing that helped me was using the "laid back nursing" position. I was resigned to the fact that I would be used as a pacifier for a couple weeks, and yes it was miserable, but at least that position didn't hurt my back and let me get a bit of rest. DD seemed to like it, too. Google it and see if it might work for you? |
Anonymous
| Also, OP, don't think about work right now. I know you're exhausted and looking down the road, but try to focus on the here and now, because otherwise you will drive yourself crazy. Wen it comes time to go back to your job, you will have a completely different baby on your hands. You just need to barrel on through these next two weeks or so, and then you can give your baby a real pacifier! Don't feel bad about resenting baby either. Many if us have been there. I really wanted to send my DD back to somewhere for a while, and then felt even worse for thinking that, and ended up in a spiral of anger and guilt and crying. Don't. It's ok to feel this way, you're exhausted, and it won't last for much longer. |
Anonymous
+1 We did the side lying position and it let me get in some sleep. OP, I can remember crying while nursing to, because it IS hard on so many different levels. Try not to resent the baby. Not to minimize your feelings, but just remember that millions of women have done what you are doing, and millions more will do it when you're done. And for most of them, it was not a bit easy. Weigh bottle feeding vs. breast feeding. Which one will be the most inconvenient? When you nurse, the only think you REALLY have to do is feed the baby and feed yourself. That's it. As for the rest, you do it when you can. Best of luck to you, OP. Get some sleep today and you'll feel better. |
Anonymous
| A bottle is better than resenting your baby. Furthermore, it doesn't mean giving up Breastfeeding. Many babies take both bottle and breast without problem. Have your husband give the baby a bottle and go sleep six hours straight. If baby is gaining well, you can also stop feeding and give baby a pacifier or your finger to suck on. Take a break--it's necessary to be a good mom. |
Anonymous
| OP, this is the worst part and it lasts for such a short time. I urge you to persevere! Keep trying to nurse in other positions. Your baby is just trying to help you establish your supply. It's also okay to make DH hold the baby if you need a break. I would urge you not to formula feed though (breastmilk from a bottle is ok if you can pump), because it will jeopardize your milk supply and make you much less likely to be able to breastfeed. It's rough at first but the reward is great. You're doing great, keep it up and I promise it will be so much better in just a few days!!! |
Anonymous
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Poor you! I clearly remember our first cluster feeding session - I was like WTF??? I think it was around 2 or 3 weeks. After 4 or 5 hours I sent my DH out to get some formula and pacifiers. We gave the baby two ounces or so, he passed out, and then we went on to have a successful breast feeding relationship until a year old.
You need a lactation consultant or post partum doula to come to your house to help with positioning! You should not be in so much pain from the posture. It is also ok to do one bottle of formula at night so you can get a few hours of sleep, or you can try pumping once a day. A pacifier might work too although you do need to make sure baby is eating frequently enough for weight gain (whether that be nursing, formula, or weight gain.) Also try to get some extra sleep in the early am hours - have your dh take the baby. Consider hiring a baby nurse or get a trusted relative to help out holding the baby so you can sleep. |
Anonymous
This is actually untrue - there was a study recently that showed that supplementation with formula in the first few weeks actually lead to more breast feeding success. We nursed and then offered formula for a week or two because of weight gain, and it was fine. |
Anonymous
Link, please. This goes against what my OB, pediatrician, and LC say. |
Anonymous
Here you go: http://healthland.time.com/2013/05/13/can-giving-newborns-formula-increase-breast-feeding-rates/. This study focuses on the first week of life, but I think the underlying principle makes a lot of sense and may extend to the first several weeks. Here is another older study suggesting that supplementation in the first week INDICATES feeding problems, but does not cause them: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/3883306 I know that there are probably a lot of other studies correlating formula in the hospital with shorter breastfeeding duration. However, I think it's a different story when you have a mother committed to breastfeeding and getting enough support -- in that case, I really don't think 2-3 oz supplement when mom is exhausted during cluster feeding is really going to cause any harm. As I wrote above, we supplemented with formula in the first week or two with no lasting problems whatsoever. A temporary reprieve for the mother, or ensuring healthy weight gain for the baby, are perfectly appropriate motivations to supplement with a bit of formula. A rigid adherence to nursing at all costs is what might lead to mother burnout ... so in the long run, makes much more sense to give a few oz of formula. |
Anonymous
| Have you tried a real pacifier yet? Both my kids used one and I nursed exclusively to 18 months both times. Wish I had started it earlier with my first |
Anonymous
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1) if weight gain is good, try a pacifier
2) see an LC, for better positioning, but also it is possible that baby is not actually nursing efficiently due to poor latch. 3) I gave my first small amounts of formula in the first couple weeks. No one had figured out that he was't really eating when he was seemingly nursing, he lost weight, jaundice got worse, panicky parents----an LC suggested small amounts of formula, then working on the latch. We went on to breasted for 15 months--by week 3 he had the latch down and we were off and running. 4) you MUST get some sleep. |
Anonymous
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OP, ugh I remember those days. In addition to the sleep deprivation, your hormones are probably all over the place. Make sure to drink plenty of water and eat enough calories.
Gel pads really helped me: http://www.amazon.com/Tender-Care-Hydrogel-Nursing-4-Pack/dp/B0011ECPA2 Also, maybe lansinoh. |