Spin off of marriage after baby thread - easier to live with a woman?

[Anonymous]

I'm going to be politically incorrect, but I am a mom of 3 who may be looking for a Co-Abode situation with another mom shortly, and the thread on outsourcing everything your clueless and carefree husband isn't doing really resonated with me. I'm curious what women think about whether it would be easier to live with another woman because we know what needs to be done.

For me, I'm hesitant b/c I think it was hard enough living with my husband, the father of my children whom I loved at one time - and who still got on my nerves because he was clueless of what I did for him around the house and with the kids. If I did share a home with another person whom I do not love (ie, Co Abode) would we butt heads for appreciation and respect or would it be an easier situation because we don't have to fight for control?

I would also love to hear how these conflicts play out in lesbian parenting arrangements - not because I'm gay, but because I always wonder if two women would just 'get' each other more than a man and a woman. That's probably oversimplifying things and it's not my intention to offend, I am just envious in a way because it seems like it would be a more egalitarian relationship than a traditional marriage. ???

[Anonymous]

There are plenty of women who don't have a clue what needs to be done. And plenty of men who do. I suggest you focus on finding the right person to live with. Counting on Sisterhood as some immutable bond that will make all things work sounds like relationship rebound to me.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on the individual. But if she's a mom too, you both will be more sensitive to each other's needs. Also since you are not a couple, it should be easier to treat issues as sort of a business transaction, creating an agreement that's acceptable to both, instead of the witches brew of power, control, resentment, sex, love, etc. etc. that marriage can bring.

During difficulties with my husband, I remarked to a lesbian friend how I wish I were a lesbian, it must be so much easier to deal with a reasonable female than these A hole males, and she laughed and told me that being in a relationship with a woman can be very, very difficult.

Just saying that gender is no guarantee of kindness, sanity, helpfulness, etc.

[Anonymous]

Have you ever had a babysitter who was a mother herself? If you have, that memory should be all it takes to burst your bubble. They also do things completely differently than you may assume they would/should be done, even though they're women and moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever had a babysitter who was a mother herself? If you have, that memory should be all it takes to burst your bubble. They also do things completely differently than you may assume they would/should be done, even though they're women and moms.

< laughs to self > Yes, truer words cannot be spoken! I guess I was indulging myself in Fantasy Island last night! Maybe two moms sharing a house wouldn't be a good idea... unless you were very similar minded.

[Anonymous]

I'll tell you that my experience as a teacher working in almost exclusively female environments has taught me that we women are awful to each other. Such petty territorial squabbling and back-stabbing!

[Anonymous]

A a lesbian mom, I'd say hat our relationship in terms of child-reari[google

[Anonymous]

Sorry, to complete last thought (toddler fingers on my keyboard, sorry)...as a lesbian mom, I'd say we share responsibilities in child rearing equitably & do understand each other well...we have not seen that in some other lesbian households, although it works with us. Not perfect by any means, but we seem to share responsibilities, give each other breaks, work well together, discipline well together, share in joys & frustrations together, etc...


However (maybe TMI) , like many couples, we have suffered lesbian from bed death (LBD), a serious affliction that has us in a purely platonic relationship for the past few years. But child raising together is good....So, maybe there is hope for your co-abode platonic situation.

[Anonymous]

understanding, respect and cooperation does not depend on sexual orientation.