Mrs Simpson's "Application" - Is this Woman for Real?

[Anonymous]

OK, rarely am I at a loss for snark to post on DCUM but this one has even me perplexed. We, as parents of a cute little rising 4th grade DS, just got this thing in the mail. Truly, I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

"Was muth-a presented?" "If yes, please specify year and city?" (I was presented with a new cell phone that I won at a raffle in Baltimore in 2011; does that count??)

"Has your child had any previous Ballroom Dancing instruction?" (Oh, sure.. he started when he was two. Sic on the improper capitalization in this question, just FYI.)

"Please list Social Clubs" (All I can think of is the neighborhood Friday night wine-drinking group, but I doubt this is what she has in mind.)

"How long has the family lived in the Washington area?" (OMG, it says AREA! Do they let in people from Burke? What about Rockville?)

Please tell me that this is all a joke and that Mrs. Edmund Gordon Simpson, as she so elegantly signed the (poorly written) cover letter, is just a relic from about 1958?

[Anonymous]

The answers you seek are found here: http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/6928.page
Enjoy!

[Anonymous]

Did it actually use the phrase "muth-a?"

[Anonymous]

Really you are surprised by pretense from a finishing school?

[Anonymous]

What is "muth-a"?

[Anonymous]

No, no... she at least spelled the word correctly and it reads "mother." I was (lamely) trying to project a southern accent, which is the mental picture that she brings to mind!

[Anonymous]

So do not send your child. Problem solved. Seriously, if you don't like the process, why are you pursuing it? You will definitely not enjoy it. Just rip up the letter and toss it.

[Anonymous]

WTF is muth-a? Clearly my children wouldn't get in...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, no... she at least spelled the word correctly and it reads "mother." I was (lamely) trying to project a southern accent, which is the mental picture that she brings to mind!

what "southern" person have you been speaking to?

[Anonymous]

It took me five minutes, but I finally figured out that the first question is concerning whether or not the child's mother had a "debut." Clearly I am beyond help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It took me five minutes, but I finally figured out that the first question is concerning whether or not the child's mother had a "debut." Clearly I am beyond help.

Yes, I just figured it out, too. I can't believe people still do that debutante shit.

[Anonymous]

They say that you cannot buy class. But Mrs Simpson's really does prove that you can.

I have some very good friends who, though they had done extremely well financially, remained a little "rough around the edges". An example: at one luncheon I noticed one of them drinking from the finger bowl.

For people such as this, Mrs Simpson's provides a truly wonderful opportunity to ascend the social scale: if not for them then at least for their children. One cannot put a price on an opportunity like this. Whilst I love these friends dearly, and would do anything for them, their Coarseness has always created a certain distance between my husband and I and them.

Thanks to Mrs. Simpson's, our children will no longer know this same distance. Their six children have truly turned into lovely young adults there.

I think it you have the opportunity and the funds to do something like this, you should. Yes, it may result in your children looking down on you slightly as a result, but do we not all hope for our children to be better than ourselves? And the location is simply fabulous - nothing exudes class and taste like Potomac.

[Anonymous]

Tell me more about the Friday wine drinking group. I need that in my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They say that you cannot buy class. But Mrs Simpson's really does prove that you can.

I have some very good friends who, though they had done extremely well financially, remained a little "rough around the edges". An example: at one luncheon I noticed one of them drinking from the finger bowl.

For people such as this, Mrs Simpson's provides a truly wonderful opportunity to ascend the social scale: if not for them then at least for their children. One cannot put a price on an opportunity like this. Whilst I love these friends dearly, and would do anything for them, their Coarseness has always created a certain distance between my husband and I and them.

Thanks to Mrs. Simpson's, our children will no longer know this same distance. Their six children have truly turned into lovely young adults there.

I think it you have the opportunity and the funds to do something like this, you should. Yes, it may result in your children looking down on you slightly as a result, but do we not all hope for our children to be better than ourselves? And the location is simply fabulous - nothing exudes class and taste like Potomac.

This is fabulous. I'm dying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They say that you cannot buy class. But Mrs Simpson's really does prove that you can.

I have some very good friends who, though they had done extremely well financially, remained a little "rough around the edges". An example: at one luncheon I noticed one of them drinking from the finger bowl.

For people such as this, Mrs Simpson's provides a truly wonderful opportunity to ascend the social scale: if not for them then at least for their children. One cannot put a price on an opportunity like this. Whilst I love these friends dearly, and would do anything for them, their Coarseness has always created a certain distance between my husband and I and them.

Thanks to Mrs. Simpson's, our children will no longer know this same distance. Their six children have truly turned into lovely young adults there.

I think it you have the opportunity and the funds to do something like this, you should. Yes, it may result in your children looking down on you slightly as a result, but do we not all hope for our children to be better than ourselves? And the location is simply fabulous - nothing exudes class and taste like Potomac.

decent satire pp, although you will actually cause a few readers some anxiety when reading