People have lower standards for me than themselves/others

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I AM ambitious. That's the problem. So when I fail and fail again, and people pat me on the head and say that's ok...I have to wonder why.

We're not talking about work, by the way, so aimless and shiftless isn't accurate at all.

What do you want people to say when you fail again and again? Most people would respond "hey it's ok". Because it is. One of my best friends has failed at a new career several times. And you know what? It IS ok. I don't think any less of her. I don't think I'm better than her. It's ok because it's really ok.

Of course it's not ok. When did failing and mediocrity become ok?

Thomas Edison famously said, “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” “Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

They say it’s okay because you can try again...and again...and again...

Have you ever watched Winnie the Pooh, OP? You’re Eeyore.

Maybe. But it's pretty patronizing to pat someone on the head when they fail and say "there, there," when you KNOW you're more successful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I AM ambitious. That's the problem. So when I fail and fail again, and people pat me on the head and say that's ok...I have to wonder why.

We're not talking about work, by the way, so aimless and shiftless isn't accurate at all.

What do you want people to say when you fail again and again? Most people would respond "hey it's ok". Because it is. One of my best friends has failed at a new career several times. And you know what? It IS ok. I don't think any less of her. I don't think I'm better than her. It's ok because it's really ok.

Of course it's not ok. When did failing and mediocrity become ok?

Thomas Edison famously said, “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” “Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

They say it’s okay because you can try again...and again...and again...

Have you ever watched Winnie the Pooh, OP? You’re Eeyore.

Maybe. But it's pretty patronizing to pat someone on the head when they fail and say "there, there," when you KNOW you're more successful.

Wow, they just can’t win with you. What are they supposed to do, quit their jobs and give all their money away to charity before they can talk to you? In all seriousness, get therapy.

[Anonymous]

Honest question OP...what would you like people to say to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honest question OP...what would you like people to say to you?

Either nothing or agree that yes, there is something wrong with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are being honest. You can't handle that they honestly do not care if you climb the career ladder or not.

That's easy for them to disregard when they are more successful. It's almost as if they are saying, "You'll never hack it like I have."

Because they know that their professional success isn't that important. It doesn't make them happy and isn't as meaningful to them as it is to you.

[Anonymous]

I can see how that would feel condescending.

[Anonymous]

They are trying to make you feel better OP. It's good you are trying. Most people don't even do that.

What should friends say? You are a loser and should sit at home instead of trying?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I AM ambitious. That's the problem. So when I fail and fail again, and people pat me on the head and say that's ok...I have to wonder why.

We're not talking about work, by the way, so aimless and shiftless isn't accurate at all.

What do you want people to say when you fail again and again? Most people would respond "hey it's ok". Because it is. One of my best friends has failed at a new career several times. And you know what? It IS ok. I don't think any less of her. I don't think I'm better than her. It's ok because it's really ok.

Of course it's not ok. When did failing and mediocrity become ok?

Thomas Edison famously said, “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” “Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

They say it’s okay because you can try again...and again...and again...

Have you ever watched Winnie the Pooh, OP? You’re Eeyore.

Maybe. But it's pretty patronizing to pat someone on the head when they fail and say "there, there," when you KNOW you're more successful.

Two possibilities. One, they just want to socialize, so they are trying to change the subject or do anything to get you to stop talking about what a loser you are. It's probably pretty boring to them when you do that. Two, they probably think they are smarter and better than you, and are trying to change the subject. Because yes, if they are smarter/better/more accomplished/more successful than you, then honestly, they DO hold you to a lower standard. They may be confused that you would compare yourself to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Two possibilities. One, they just want to socialize, so they are trying to change the subject or do anything to get you to stop talking about what a loser you are. It's probably pretty boring to them when you do that. Two, they probably think they are smarter and better than you, and are trying to change the subject. Because yes, if they are smarter/better/more accomplished/more successful than you, then honestly, they DO hold you to a lower standard. They may be confused that you would compare yourself to them.

Then what can I do to be better? I'm more educated and have a professional job, but we're talking things outside of all that. How do I become "good" at something? Or how can I convince them that I AM capable of more?

[Anonymous]

It’s not about them. You don’t need to convince them.

This is solely about you. Your perception of you.

[Anonymous]

You have a very low EQ and lack grit.

So for you, your mediocre life is the best you are going to get.

If your EQ was higher you would understand how to be happy with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have a very low EQ and lack grit.

So for you, your mediocre life is the best you are going to get.

If your EQ was higher you would understand how to be happy with that.

Except I don't lack grit. I've clawed my way up to a professional position that no one thought I'd be able to hack, and I've done well. Just not with other stuff.

How do i raise my EQ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a very low EQ and lack grit.

So for you, your mediocre life is the best you are going to get.

If your EQ was higher you would understand how to be happy with that.

Except I don't lack grit. I've clawed my way up to a professional position that no one thought I'd be able to hack, and I've done well. Just not with other stuff.

How do i raise my EQ?

What is the other stuff, specifically. If you aren't talking about work, I have no idea what you mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a very low EQ and lack grit.

So for you, your mediocre life is the best you are going to get.

If your EQ was higher you would understand how to be happy with that.

Except I don't lack grit. I've clawed my way up to a professional position that no one thought I'd be able to hack, and I've done well. Just not with other stuff.

How do i raise my EQ?

Like what.

[Anonymous]

Call a therapist today. Immediately.