Middle school graduation outfit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have not ordered such a tight dress in the first place. you should have returned the dress the second she tried it on, and you should not have bought her high heels. Who the hell is controlling this relationship? Clearly, your child. You are weak.

My daughter just graduated from middle school and wore black dress pants, a black button-down shirt, and a green bow tie with black Converse. I would have preferred she wear a dress, but she did not want to.

Wow - who's controlling *your* relationship, PP? How hypocritical of you to jump all over the OP. While I agree that she shouldn't have allowed the tight dress and heels in the first place, it sounds like you're also letting your daughter wear whatever she wants too, so...

DD doesn't control our relationship. She started talking about this LAST FALL - that she'd want to wear pants to graduation. I agreed to it. I made sure she was cool with the fact that she'd be one of the only if not THE only girl not wearing a dress, and she was one of three. The only outfit ANYONE seemed to talk about was the boy who wore green Crocs. I didn't let my daughter wear whatever she wants. If it'd been up to her, she'd have worn torn black jeans and one of her Brandy Melville t-shirts with her dirty Adidas. I told her she had to dress up. She did. I'm satisfied. Do I think she'd look beautiful in a dress? Yes. But she's been a tomboy since 1st grade, and I made my peace a long time ago with who she is. And if this is the worst I have to accept about my child, I'm happy to do it.

[Anonymous]

I Googled middle school graduation and looked at some of the images that came up. There is quite a bit of variety but most girls do wear dresses and many wear heels, some fairly high. My own daughter wore 3 inch sandal wedges to 8th grade graduation.

For example, https://www.tapinto.net/towns/verona-slash-cedar-grove/articles/h-b-whitehorne-middle-school-8th-grade-graduati

Unless your daughter looks outrageously too sexy then I would probably let her wear the dress and heels to graduation. You did buy them for her for that purpose.

Do you have a photo of the dress and shoes? What about the dress looked okay online but then made you second guess things when she tried it on?

I think we all have a hard time with our kids, particularly girls, starting to express sexuality but that is a normal part of growing up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: is 14 too young for 3 inch heels?

YES! Not only that it is really bad for your feet. Epic fail, sorry!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have not ordered such a tight dress in the first place. you should have returned the dress the second she tried it on, and you should not have bought her high heels. Who the hell is controlling this relationship? Clearly, your child. You are weak.

My daughter just graduated from middle school and wore black dress pants, a black button-down shirt, and a green bow tie with black Converse. I would have preferred she wear a dress, but she did not want to.

Pot, meet kettle.

Nope, because DD was still dressed appropriately for her age and the occasion. I would LOVE to see her in dresses, but she's very much a tomboy. She asked me back in October if she could wear pants, and I said yes then, as long as they were not jeans, and not ripped. A 14 yr old should not look like a hooker, which is what it sounds like OP's daughter will present as. It doesn't matter if lots of other girls will look like hookers.

No she wasn't. This outfit sounds horrible and goofy.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have not ordered such a tight dress in the first place. you should have returned the dress the second she tried it on, and you should not have bought her high heels. Who the hell is controlling this relationship? Clearly, your child. You are weak.

My daughter just graduated from middle school and wore black dress pants, a black button-down shirt, and a green bow tie with black Converse. I would have preferred she wear a dress, but she did not want to.

Wow - who's controlling *your* relationship, PP? How hypocritical of you to jump all over the OP. While I agree that she shouldn't have allowed the tight dress and heels in the first place, it sounds like you're also letting your daughter wear whatever she wants too, so...

DD doesn't control our relationship. She started talking about this LAST FALL - that she'd want to wear pants to graduation. I agreed to it. I made sure she was cool with the fact that she'd be one of the only if not THE only girl not wearing a dress, and she was one of three. The only outfit ANYONE seemed to talk about was the boy who wore green Crocs. I didn't let my daughter wear whatever she wants. If it'd been up to her, she'd have worn torn black jeans and one of her Brandy Melville t-shirts with her dirty Adidas. I told her she had to dress up. She did. I'm satisfied. Do I think she'd look beautiful in a dress? Yes. But she's been a tomboy since 1st grade, and I made my peace a long time ago with who she is. And if this is the worst I have to accept about my child, I'm happy to do it.

You have completely missed the point. You called the OP out for being "weak," yet you yourself gave in and let your daughter wear a dumb outfit. Practice what you preach, maybe? As parents, we all have some sort of preference for how our kids dress, especially for special occasions. You admit that your preference was that your daughter wear a dress, but since she didn't want to, you agreed she could wear pants. You're judging the OP because she allowed her daughter to wear an outfit of her own preference, even though OP herself wasn't a fan. Perhaps stop judging people if you don't want them to judge you for allowing your daughter to wear such a goofy outfit?

[Anonymous]

I just bought my 14 yo 4 inch heels for her dance at camp. She had 4 inch heels last year too, which she wore to the bar and bat mitzvahs she went to, along with all the other girls her age. I have refused to allow her to have clothes that would draw too much inappropriate attention (super low cut, see through) but we talk about time and place, and what it means to wear certain things and the messages they send. I don't always like what she wears -- I don't usually like what she wears -- but I'm ok with letting her make choices. Stop being so judgy everyone!

[Anonymous]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/christina-pesoli/breaking-news-from-the-to_b_5435244.html

Kind of a funny article about this subject!

[Anonymous]

I have a pair of Demonia boots with 3 inch heels that I wear on Halloween along with Tripp bondage pants, a band t-shirt, fishnet sleeves, my pentagram jewelry, black lipstick and polish, and a velvet cloak. It's fun to play dress-up one night each year.

[Anonymous]

I have no opinion about how fashionable vs. trashy a 4-inch heel is for a 13 yr old but I'd veto my DD wearing such a high heel simply for safety. They are horrible for your feet and a girl unaccustomed to wearing heels could easily sprain/break an ankle in that.

[Anonymous]

Why isn't there any sort of dress code? Mcps makes us dress 4th and 5th graders in black pants and white shirts for the choral concert and band performance. Why isn't there any guidance for this?

[Anonymous]

I just googled bodycon. Omg, who would let their daughter wear a dress like that? The ads underscore the sex appeal.

[Anonymous]

For all the posters picking on the PP whose daughter wore pants and a bow tie, I will just say that I'd rather my daughter be covered up and look a little goofy than look like she just got off the pole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have not ordered such a tight dress in the first place. you should have returned the dress the second she tried it on, and you should not have bought her high heels. Who the hell is controlling this relationship? Clearly, your child. You are weak.

My daughter just graduated from middle school and wore black dress pants, a black button-down shirt, and a green bow tie with black Converse. I would have preferred she wear a dress, but she did not want to.

Wow - who's controlling *your* relationship, PP? How hypocritical of you to jump all over the OP. While I agree that she shouldn't have allowed the tight dress and heels in the first place, it sounds like you're also letting your daughter wear whatever she wants too, so...

DD doesn't control our relationship. She started talking about this LAST FALL - that she'd want to wear pants to graduation. I agreed to it. I made sure she was cool with the fact that she'd be one of the only if not THE only girl not wearing a dress, and she was one of three. The only outfit ANYONE seemed to talk about was the boy who wore green Crocs. I didn't let my daughter wear whatever she wants. If it'd been up to her, she'd have worn torn black jeans and one of her Brandy Melville t-shirts with her dirty Adidas. I told her she had to dress up. She did. I'm satisfied. Do I think she'd look beautiful in a dress? Yes. But she's been a tomboy since 1st grade, and I made my peace a long time ago with who she is. And if this is the worst I have to accept about my child, I'm happy to do it.

You have completely missed the point. You called the OP out for being "weak," yet you yourself gave in and let your daughter wear a dumb outfit. Practice what you preach, maybe? As parents, we all have some sort of preference for how our kids dress, especially for special occasions. You admit that your preference was that your daughter wear a dress, but since she didn't want to, you agreed she could wear pants. You're judging the OP because she allowed her daughter to wear an outfit of her own preference, even though OP herself wasn't a fan. Perhaps stop judging people if you don't want them to judge you for allowing your daughter to wear such a goofy outfit?

Not the pp, but I really am not getting the criticism here. DD wants to wear pants - mom says wear appropriate pants. They discuss what is appropriate and both are happy. In the op, the mom is pretty sure that her daughter's outfit is not appropriate (I tend to agree). That's a totally different story.