Does your close friend often tell you about the play dates her kids are having?

[Anonymous]

I have a friend, an old friend, who has a child the same age as mine. She would occasionally invite us over for playdates because she is so gracious and sweet, but yeah, I never or rarely reciprocated. I didn't want to say no, but our kids just did not get along.

We weren't in the same school or activities, and it was too much work. We just took care of our adult friendship, though, and that was what mattered.

Now our kids are about to graduate HS and we are still amazing friends, even if our kids are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is also possible she doesn't think the kids get along all that well?

This is the only reason for her lack of reciprocity that makes sense to me. It's the reason I have been less enthusiastic about reciprocating play dates even when I like the other parent. Still, the verbal behavior sounds inconsiderate. It can be hard to have and make mom friends so I understand why you would keep investing even despite this, but it does sound imbalanced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, don't understand why everyone thinks it's rude.

My good friend recounts her week to me during our chats, and of course it includes playdates with other friends. Occasionally I have heard about some child who did not behave, or playdates which went swimmingly, etc. I tell her all about my week, too. We get together as much as our hectic schedules allow, but that doesn't mean we can't invite other people and tell each other about it.

So... ?

Because this "good friend"NEVER invites OP's child over for a playdate. Never. Why? And, to top it off, the parent accepts invitations to OP's house for their children to play, so it can't be that the good friend doesn't think her kid gets along with OP's.

OP: The ONLY thing I can think of, and it's probably not true but I'm grasping at straws, is that your child misbehaves when on her/his own at your friend's house? Or did it once and now friend doesn't want to deal with that?

[Anonymous]

You’re going to have to ask, OP.

[Anonymous]

Very rude. I would probably not want to be friends with this person because I assume this trait also shows up elsewhere.