The good, the bad and the ugly about having kids in your 20s/early 30s/mid-late 30s and 40s

[Anonymous]

Mid 20s.

Pros:

-Body and skin bounced back easily, which was a big fear (being young and looking older due to having a baby)

-Was tired of clubbing. I started at 16 and by 24/25, I was over it. Didn't feel like I missed out on that experience.

-Parents were mid-40s, so still young and active. I have an extensive support system having grown up here, so I really didn't miss out on fun outings or travel opportunities for work. DC spends quality time with the grandparents and great-grandparents (still living) every weekend. Also, my mom is her fav person in the world. This is my biggest plus, as this is what I always wanted for my child(ren), because we're a close-knit family and this is how I grew up.

-Was already used to struggling financially since I had a mortgage and whatnot, so I didn't feel a big difference. Also, because my parents and grandparents had kids young too, making do was the norm for me, so no stress about money. I knew whatever we needed would be provided. And it has.

-Lots of energy. DC didnt STTN until 22 months. Even sleep deprivation didn't stop me from receiving two promotions during the first 3 years. If anything, having a child while money was tight motivated me more. The same goes for her dad. My pregnancy was the reason he went back and finished school.We go to the park, pool, or jungle gym every day and run around unless its bad weather and pass out together at night.lol

-My daycare bill goes away next month!!!! Finally!

-DC and I can do "adult" activities together when I'm in my 40s, like concerts, wine tastings, cruises, festivals. My mom and I do stuff like this and she's young enough to still relate. She's still be young and broke and happy to have a sponsor for vacations.lol

-I should be able to watch my grandkids FT, if I'm blessed to have any and my child(ren) wants me to.

Cons:

-I'm a single parent (the ex is still an involved parent)...the silver lining is I still feel optimistic about finding love now in my late 20s

-Either DC will be my only or I will have kids with an age gap...that was never my preference, but ah well

-In some mommy circles, I'm substantially younger than my counterparts plus single....it was a challenge finding my crowd, but I have (other young divorced moms or childless women). This may not seem like a big deal, but it was initially. The other new moms would want to get together and do couples outings OR moms night out would still be women-centered while I wanted to be around single guys

-I'd have more money saved

-Having to plan my outings unlike most of my peers who could get up and go

-Because I'm "young" and single, it being assumed that I receive or qualified for childcare vouchers. That was a huge pet peeve when I was touring daycares a few years ago. I would be told to apply for the program anyway, even though I stated that I didn't qualify based on income. This happened at 90% of the centers I visited. People said it was because I looked 19, but it annoyed the crap outta me.

-Not having the option of staying on maternity leave longer. I had 4 months off, but would've preferred 6-12 months.


No regrets whatsoever though! DC makes me laugh and happy. I'm sure it would be just as great if I'd started a decade later. Our lives are pretty awesome and I feel blessed that I was chosen to be her mom.

[Anonymous]

54 year old twin mom here. Thank you all for the good wishes! It's my first marriage, my husband's second. He's 53. We met, dated for almost two years, and married when I was 52 (he was 51). We used donor eggs and got pregnant on the third try. It's a big adventure!