The good, the bad and the ugly about having kids in your 20s/early 30s/mid-late 30s and 40s

[Anonymous]

Thought it would be interesting to see what people say though I know this has been talked about often. Jusr curious..

Had mine early to mid 30s:

The good-Best time for us-financially stable, ready to give so much of ourselves, had time to travel and go to grad school before, feel so lucky to have my kids, challenges and all, and I have no feeling I missed out on anything. I found the right husband. I think if I had married in my early to mid 20s I was not mature enough to make the best decision about who I married.

The bad-I'm tired and have less stamina then when younger. My kids are still young and I'm at an age (40ish) where I have to start screening for cancers (fam history) and I have more doctors than I expected to have this age. If anything happens to us, our parents are too old to handle raising kids and our siblings are too tired. I aged a bit faster than I expected. The new moms I know in their 40s are high energy go getters with young spirit and I secretly worship them because they seem to handle newborns better than I did in my 30s.

[Anonymous]

similar:

had kids in my early 30's - so happy to have gotten to a place where my career was on a trajectory and solid. happy to have had some time to do adult independent things.

bad: i see the women who had kids in their 20's and their bodies look much better - they just have tolerated it much much better. and my parents are older and have less stamina.

[Anonymous]

Those mothers who look great in their 40s have Lots of help all around - nannies, sitters, trainers and facials. I still don't have that disposable income and we are in the 300k bracket. You hit it on the nail about worrying about guardianship For the kids and unexpected health issues as an older parent. I agree with your good points about being an older parent too.

[Anonymous]

I had my kids when I was 24 and 26 (twins at 26). Obviously this is extremely rare around here, and when I had my children we did not live here, we lived in an area where we were much more the norm. The biggest con at the time was lack of money. My husband was still a medical resident, and I was a nurse, trying to squeeze in night shifts during the few hours my husband actually was home. We got by, but the year we had 3 under 2 was sooooo tight financially and emotionally! However, it was a short term problem and we knew that going in. The biggest pro was the energy we both had. Sleeping 4 to 5 hours a night was plenty, I truly never felt exhausted. (now at 40 I get exhausted if I don't have at least 7 hours of sleep!) I also like that my mid forties and beyond are going to be filled with lots of couple time and traveling. I did go through a period in my mid 30s where I was afraid of an empty nest so young and thought about having another, it never happened but sometimes I wish it did, not too often though.

[Anonymous]

Late 30s

The good- money, money and money. My career is set, and flexible to me working from home, leaving early and taking off to be my daughter.

The bad- my body hasn't bounced back as quickly as my younger counterparts. Tired.

[Anonymous]

Mid 20s:

Good:

I'm able to stay home with her the first few years and go back to work at a not-too-significant disadvantage. (I plan to be entering the workforce again when I'm 29.)

I have plenty of energy to do lots of stuff with her.

I am a LOT more laid back about things than the older first time moms I know are. I haven't read a single parenting book and don't really plan on doing it- I'm less concerned with parenting the "right" way according to some expert and just try to do what comes naturally to me.

Yeah, my body did bounce back REALLY quickly.

Bad:

Many people in this area look at me like I'm a teen mom.

My one and only will be out of my nest when I'm 42. Sometimes I think this is good, sometimes bad. But the good list was pretty full, so I put it in the bad list this morning.

I lost my "idiot years." Sure, I can travel and see the world when she's out of the house when I'm 42, but I can't be an idiot while doing it. I had college, which was great, but most people have full license to be idiots through their 20s, and I got my idiot years cut short by about 5 years.

I'm not as patient as the older moms I know.

[Anonymous]

I remember my own mom turning 50. It was such a milestone, and I was thinking 'my mom is old'. I was 27. Now, it hit that I am reaching my own 50 milestone, and my dc will only be 17. It scared the hell out of me now, that I will be old, and may be wish I had dc earlier to have more 'young' time with her.

[Anonymous]

I was 31 when DD1 was born. I was 33 when DD2 was born.

I think that's a good time to have babies.

But, my dw was 40 and 42, respectively and probably has a different perspective. She'll be 50 soon and I'm only going to be 41.

On the flip side, she'll be in retirement when they're in college and I'll still be working.

Hmmm.

[Anonymous]

Was in my late teens when the first two were born. Body bounced back without any work. I had way less patience and really crammed them into my life. Although it's turned out totally fine and the kids remember their younger years as simply being "busy", I feel a bit badly about it.

Had second two in late 20's. Had to work out to force the body to bounce back. Thousand times more patience, much more confident. Slower pace of life now.

[Anonymous]

What if you have children during all those time frames?

[Anonymous]

Late 20's and early 30's.
I had a strong self of self, which I didn't have in my early 20's. I had travelled, made mistakes, had fun. DH & I got to spend 4 years alone before having kids, we waited until we could afford for me to be a SAHM. By the time my youngest was born I was done with school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was in my late teens when the first two were born. Body bounced back without any work. I had way less patience and really crammed them into my life. Although it's turned out totally fine and the kids remember their younger years as simply being "busy", I feel a bit badly about it.

Had second two in late 20's. Had to work out to force the body to bounce back. Thousand times more patience, much more confident. Slower pace of life now.

TWO in your teens? Twins? Wow.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure The physical is universal.. Just
Had baby at 39 and body bounced back
Amazingly with no Real effort, but agree
With posts about age difference, ugh

[Anonymous]

Mid-30s. (35 and 37)

All good (seriously).
No bad.

Lots of $, senior level at work-tons of flex/WAH. We traveled extensively pre-kids first 7 years of marriage so don't feel like we are missing anything. Body bounced right back, still have 6-pack (have always worked out 6days/week whole life). Easy pregnancies/easy deliveries. Very active and athletic family. Able to raise kids exactly where we want- no compromise financially. Grandparents still very active and healthy.

[Anonymous]

physically our bodies were designed to have babies in our early 20s. Mentally, is another can of worms.