termination at 19 weeks for medical reason

[Anonymous]

Why was the post describing the risks to the mother in a D&E abortion deleted? The OP asked what the risks were.

Or was it because the D&E procedure was described? Jeff, not cool. If OP goes through with the procedure, it is what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why was the post describing the risks to the mother in a D&E abortion deleted? The OP asked what the risks were.

Or was it because the D&E procedure was described? Jeff, not cool. If OP goes through with the procedure, it is what it is.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP. Back to your actual questions, i terminated at 21 wks at GW via L&D. They were really good to me. I ended up switching to their practice for OB care. I would recommend them highly. Personally, I would not have dealt well with traveling or with being around family/friends/hotel, so that is something to consider. My husband stayed with me. it did take a long time for L&D. They started my cytotec 2.5 days before I delivered.

It was really difficult emotionally, but looking back I know it was the right decision for me and my family and I do not have regrets. I will always miss that baby, but I did not want him to live with his many health issues. I did have another baby, a healthy one, the following year and I treasure him that much more. Remember that this isn't your fault and things will be better, with some time.

We are all one illness or one accident away from having to live with health issues.

[Anonymous]

10:54 here. One more thing--I was fortunate that my insurer paid all costs associated with my termination, but others aren't so lucky. Out of pocket cost for L&D is $7-$10K. A D&C at a clinic is a better option if you have fed insurance or more limited coverage. Make sure you follow up with your insurer. I actually had to get a referral from my primary care for my genetics consult.

[Anonymous]

OP has not made her choice until the procedure is underway, and even then, she could change her mind. This choice is forever. Would it really be better for her to hear what the procedure entails afterwards? What kind of paternalism is that, Jeff?

There was nothing abusive in the post you deleted. Was it too effective?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP. Back to your actual questions, i terminated at 21 wks at GW via L&D. They were really good to me. I ended up switching to their practice for OB care. I would recommend them highly. Personally, I would not have dealt well with traveling or with being around family/friends/hotel, so that is something to consider. My husband stayed with me. it did take a long time for L&D. They started my cytotec 2.5 days before I delivered.

It was really difficult emotionally, but looking back I know it was the right decision for me and my family and I do not have regrets. I will always miss that baby, but I did not want him to live with his many health issues. I did have another baby, a healthy one, the following year and I treasure him that much more. Remember that this isn't your fault and things will be better, with some time.

We are all one illness or one accident away from having to live with health issues.

And so what? Are you disagreeing with me when I say I didn't want my baby to live? How helpful do you think that is exactly? Helpful to me? To a dead baby? To the OP? I get that you find yourself very smart and insightful, but that has no bearing here. If you are so naive to think that women undergo late terminations without thinking them through first, you are an idiot. And if you think that second guessing someone else's painful personal choice is just a fun way to pass the time, then you are just cruel and thoughtless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP has not made her choice until the procedure is underway, and even then, she could change her mind. This choice is forever. Would it really be better for her to hear what the procedure entails afterwards? What kind of paternalism is that, Jeff?

There was nothing abusive in the post you deleted. Was it too effective?

No, it's just that Jeff is anti-choice and promotes that through his selective deletions on any thread about abortion.

Women have a right to be exposed to the different perspectives and information offered in these types of conversations.

[Anonymous]

One more thing, research shows very low rates of complications for either L&D or D&C termination. Lower than rates of complications for childbirth by far. Between the two, D&C is actually slightly lower risk, probably in part because many people opt for D&C for earlier terminations.
There is also a clinic in suburban MD that will do D&C--check with your genetics counselor on this. i hate to post any more specific info because of the crazies.

[Anonymous]

And to the posters advocating delivery as the only option for closure or to see the baby, that's simply not true. I delivered at 21 wks and saw and held my baby and said goodbye. It is really helpful for some women, and you can get photos, footrints, etc. Regardless of how the termination happens, most people decide to do something in memorium--we cremated baby and buried him and we made some charitable gifts to international organizations that provided child health care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has not made her choice until the procedure is underway, and even then, she could change her mind. This choice is forever. Would it really be better for her to hear what the procedure entails afterwards? What kind of paternalism is that, Jeff?

There was nothing abusive in the post you deleted. Was it too effective?

No, it's just that Jeff is anti-choice and promotes that through his selective deletions on any thread about abortion.

Women have a right to be exposed to the different perspectives and information offered in these types of conversations.

This is not a thread about a choice. The choice has been made. Stop assuming that, just because OP didn't make the choice you wanted her to, she didn't have access to all the information. The default shouldn't be that women are dumb.

OP has asked for specific information. You are offering her other, hurtful information that is not relevant. It's cruel. Knock it off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why was the post describing the risks to the mother in a D&E abortion deleted? The OP asked what the risks were.

Or was it because the D&E procedure was described? Jeff, not cool. If OP goes through with the procedure, it is what it is.

Agree.

UM who is this Jeff person you all keep talking about and is he anti-choice???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP. Back to your actual questions, i terminated at 21 wks at GW via L&D. They were really good to me. I ended up switching to their practice for OB care. I would recommend them highly. Personally, I would not have dealt well with traveling or with being around family/friends/hotel, so that is something to consider. My husband stayed with me. it did take a long time for L&D. They started my cytotec 2.5 days before I delivered.

It was really difficult emotionally, but looking back I know it was the right decision for me and my family and I do not have regrets. I will always miss that baby, but I did not want him to live with his many health issues. I did have another baby, a healthy one, the following year and I treasure him that much more. Remember that this isn't your fault and things will be better, with some time.

We are all one illness or one accident away from having to live with health issues.

And so what? Are you disagreeing with me when I say I didn't want my baby to live? How helpful do you think that is exactly? Helpful to me? To a dead baby? To the OP? I get that you find yourself very smart and insightful, but that has no bearing here. If you are so naive to think that women undergo late terminations without thinking them through first, you are an idiot. And if you think that second guessing someone else's painful personal choice is just a fun way to pass the time, then you are just cruel and thoughtless.

I think many women are indeed pressured, guilted, manipulated or shamed into having abortions that they otherwise would not choose. A women's greatest instinct is to protect that growing being inside of her, and it is not wrong to listen to that instinct. Who tells us that imperfect babies are better off not being born? Why do we so automatically accept that? Would a mother order a mercy killing on her born child? Most likely not - unless we had a culture that encouraged us to do that. I have no idea what exposure OP has had to those families who allow their T18 babies to be born, but I would suspect that she has not spoken or met with any of them. While of course this is her right, she is not making a true choice unless she hears that perspective as well.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you all for your responses! I really appreciate it.
10:54, I have started having second thoughts about traveling to NYC especially since my parents live in the suburbs, and it looks like the hospitals insists that I stay within Manhattan after the laminaria are placed. So I would have to stay in a hotel which is not at all pleasant given the circumstances. I prefer the comfort of my home. I don't know why my OB didn't mention anything about GW. They referred me to Planned parenthood and Washington Surgi Clinic. Both of which are obviously clinic setting. I have my concerns about having the procedure done in a clinic setting especially since plane parenthood mentioned that they do the procedure in one day(no laminar, etc!!) and the other clinic doesn't even discuss how the procedure will be done. I wish I could read the post about the risks! Too bad it was deleted apparently.
I also have fed. insurance which doesn't cover the procedure. The hospital cost in NYC adds up to 20K! So, rather than being at work today, I am sitting home debating whether to cancel my appointment for tomorrow with the hospital and just go with one of the local clinics. It is a really tough situation. I am so scared of the hormone crash afterwards that I have already made an appointment with a psychologist. I also called my ob to prescribe me with anti anxiety meds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP. Back to your actual questions, i terminated at 21 wks at GW via L&D. They were really good to me. I ended up switching to their practice for OB care. I would recommend them highly. Personally, I would not have dealt well with traveling or with being around family/friends/hotel, so that is something to consider. My husband stayed with me. it did take a long time for L&D. They started my cytotec 2.5 days before I delivered.

It was really difficult emotionally, but looking back I know it was the right decision for me and my family and I do not have regrets. I will always miss that baby, but I did not want him to live with his many health issues. I did have another baby, a healthy one, the following year and I treasure him that much more. Remember that this isn't your fault and things will be better, with some time.

We are all one illness or one accident away from having to live with health issues.

And so what? Are you disagreeing with me when I say I didn't want my baby to live? How helpful do you think that is exactly? Helpful to me? To a dead baby? To the OP? I get that you find yourself very smart and insightful, but that has no bearing here. If you are so naive to think that women undergo late terminations without thinking them through first, you are an idiot. And if you think that second guessing someone else's painful personal choice is just a fun way to pass the time, then you are just cruel and thoughtless.

I think many women are indeed pressured, guilted, manipulated or shamed into having abortions that they otherwise would not choose. A women's greatest instinct is to protect that growing being inside of her, and it is not wrong to listen to that instinct. Who tells us that imperfect babies are better off not being born? Why do we so automatically accept that? Would a mother order a mercy killing on her born child? Most likely not - unless we had a culture that encouraged us to do that. I have no idea what exposure OP has had to those families who allow their T18 babies to be born, but I would suspect that she has not spoken or met with any of them. While of course this is her right, she is not making a true choice unless she hears that perspective as well.

You are making a number of disturbing assumptions here, not the least of which is that women who disagree with you must do so out of ignorance. OP came here for help with an incredibly painful situation, looking for specific information. You and your like-minded PPs made this thread into a vehicle for causing her further, unnecessary pain without any indication that your opinions were solicited or necessary. Congratulations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you all for your responses! I really appreciate it.
10:54, I have started having second thoughts about traveling to NYC especially since my parents live in the suburbs, and it looks like the hospitals insists that I stay within Manhattan after the laminaria are placed. So I would have to stay in a hotel which is not at all pleasant given the circumstances. I prefer the comfort of my home. I don't know why my OB didn't mention anything about GW. They referred me to Planned parenthood and Washington Surgi Clinic. Both of which are obviously clinic setting. I have my concerns about having the procedure done in a clinic setting especially since plane parenthood mentioned that they do the procedure in one day(no laminar, etc!!) and the other clinic doesn't even discuss how the procedure will be done. I wish I could read the post about the risks! Too bad it was deleted apparently.
I also have fed. insurance which doesn't cover the procedure. The hospital cost in NYC adds up to 20K! So, rather than being at work today, I am sitting home debating whether to cancel my appointment for tomorrow with the hospital and just go with one of the local clinics. It is a really tough situation. I am so scared of the hormone crash afterwards that I have already made an appointment with a psychologist. I also called my ob to prescribe me with anti anxiety meds.

OP, I read that post. It wasn't about the risks. It was pretty graphic, inappropriate and irrelevant information about the procedure from an anti-choicer. I don't think you missed anything.